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My h was offered a new job which would constitute us moving out of state (to Washington D.C.) now normally I would be against this kind of a move since it would be up- rooting our kids again, however given the current situation, I am all for it. I do not want H working wtih the OW again, and staying here that is what is going to happen. H is against this move, will not even considerate it, saying that would be to hard to live that far away from family and friends for the boys. I am thinking this could give us a new start- maybe that would help us... However again H will not considerate. I just want him as far away from the OW as possible- or am I just continueing to sidestep the actual problem?
KMEJ
3 beautiful sons,and 1 beautiful daughter!
Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me....
I guess it is shame on me.
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or am I just continueing to sidestep the actual problem? Yes <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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so you do not think that moving would help at all? I hate the fact that h is working with OW again, he says he is trying his best to get out of it, but it is a knot in my gut that I can not shake. At least then I would not have to worry about HER.
KMEJ
3 beautiful sons,and 1 beautiful daughter!
Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me....
I guess it is shame on me.
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But you will lost your support system won't you? KMEJ, your H's problems go far beyond the OW. You know that. YOu need to be near family and friends to support you.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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That is very very true- however if we stay around here, and he continues to work with her, I fear for what I WILL DO.
KMEJ
3 beautiful sons,and 1 beautiful daughter!
Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me....
I guess it is shame on me.
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Plan B, KMEJ. You are in an ABUSE FOG. Just like a person having an A needs to get away from the WS in order to clear away the FOG, you need to get away from your H in order to clear away the ABUSE FOG. My H kept talking about OW before, during and after the A. That wasn't JUST an A. That was a form of VERY CRUEL ABUSE. I think I may have come close to a nervous breakdown on D-day and it was only through my sister's kindness that I was able to get away if only for a week. My sister kidded me that she thought to hide the Drano when I was with her -- but not the telephone! You need to get away from him to clear your brain and realize that you shouldn't ever be in a position where you are competing with another woman. He is being CRUEL. CRUEL.
Cherished
Last edited by Cherished; 10/17/05 08:20 PM.
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KMEJ - by all means, continue with your ostrich approach to the core issue here - and that is that if you eliminiate the OW, you will have the perfect marriage...
sigh.
Cafe Plan B link http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1 The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"? The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!" If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.
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or am I just continueing to sidestep the actual problem Yes. But when YOU ask that KMEJ--what in your mind IS the actual problem?? Have you STILL not made an appointment with an IC???
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IMHO, the idea solution to this would be for your abusive H to accept the job in DC, move out, ans allow you to stay where you are, eiwith your support system in place, and get on with your life.
Too bad he won't consider it.
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hitting head repeatedly on key board- I know you all do it, I am sorry.
KMEJ
3 beautiful sons,and 1 beautiful daughter!
Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me....
I guess it is shame on me.
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