Ok. I am absolutely sick of Family Values.

Why is this woman in my face all the time?

I call my xh for insurance info regarding my son's health insurance policy..(changed) so I could go to doc today w/son.

Tell xh to email it to me. I get DOUBLE emailed from him and his nosey w(always the ow to me)...who is probably monitoring the man's emails now as well...opening everything that has my email addy on it...gotta monitor the xw...she's single...educated and cute!

I speak to xh last night about son...he's not gone to school today (dx at doc was walking pneumonia..and even more fun is that I am sick to w/same symptoms!!!!wooow!)
and he said one thing...he'd pick up son. Then I get another email from ow/w saying that if my son is NOT sick and going to school, I could come over before work and drop my son off at the condo and dad would take him to work.

I hate this crud!

And it only gets worse today...she is sooooooo meddling in my life and that of my son!

I am on way to docs and get cell call. Its her..surprise! She says actually to me and I quote, "Hey, if there is anything at all I can do for you, I am home today (like she has a job or anything) and can help you out. Need anything?" I wanted to scream at her..."Yea witch....I need you to leave my life and leave my son alone!!! Why couldn't you ask me this question 3 years ago...when you shacked up with MY husband and then deliberately got pregnant?"

What is with this woman???????I am like...NO I NEED NOTHING...I AM FINE...I MANAGE BY MYSELF QUITE WELL.
I do ask her to drop my son's nebulizer off as I want his lungs as open as possible (doc said the asthma meds would be good if he began wheezing from the cold).

And then comes the KICKER DE KICKER...

I GO TO PEDIATRICIAN'S OFFICE. He is great. One of the best...I am sitting in office for consult with him as my son just had appt 2 weeks prior w/asthma/allergy docs...I happened to glance thru my son's medical chart and...

Anybody remember what happened in late august with my son???When I was on call???And my son couldn't breathe???Well it was INCORRECTLY documented in my son's medical record and when I read the notes I was almost gasping myself.

Said 8/26: Phone call from MOM (he was with his dad and step that day)saying son "was turning blue and couldn't breathe. Said was taking son to CHOA (atlanta) and that H was taking son to doc, but H COULDN'T STAY TO WAIT 2.5 HRS. at the hospital, so left and was asking for appointment here for follow up. Gave son breathing treatment at home."

I was moritfied! First of all, it was not his MOM that called that day...it was FAMILY VALUES. She is NOT his mom! And that day she also REFUSED herself to take my son to hospital as she said to me (I was even on call at my hospital that night)"I can't take him...I have got the baby and the other one to deal with." So my xh took him...after refusing to let me take him with me to my emergency room at my hospital...But I NEVER knew Darth left the hospital and that my son did not get treated by any doctor that night...

So I am mortified. And angry.

I tell Chip (doc) the sitch (we send my son outta room and he sends him on a lollipop hunt so we can buy some time w/0 son hearing this stuff)...and doc says that the dates on chart clearly will show that my son was not in my custody during that time. He is equally appauled at the notes. I tell him that it needs to be altered showing the true custodians at the time of the incident...or should I say lack thereof care. WE discussed options and he wrote in chart "When making notes, make sure to document whether or not you are speaking to the MOM or the stepmom." Chip knows that this could be a legal issue...he's not a stupid man.

I arrive home after fuming...Fifteen minutes of peace later...Whammo! Knock at door. I look out...suv I don't know...Oh, it's Family Values! She's at my door and wanting to talk. Like we're buddies or sisters or something. I DON'T THINK SO! I tell her I AM CONTAGIOUS and that my son has walking pneumonia (she should run for the hills at this one)...and that I can't talk. She drops off neblizer and leaves.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WOMAN???She spanked my son last week...is incorrectly calling herself "MOM" when she phones my son's doctors, and refuses to take my son to hospital, and bought my son and his step brother (bleech) matching tshirts saying "He did it" and "My brother did it".

Bleech! I hate this!!!!!!!!!!!!

What is wrong with her? What is wrong with my xh?

Don't these people think things through?

Or do they just walk around all day long on autopilot????

Oh yea...prayers..and for some rapid recovery...son has basically what doc said is mycoplasma infection..aka...walking pneumonia...and I have same symptoms! Lovely for a health care pro huh? Can we say peach isn't going to work for another day or 2? And son is ordered home until maybe at earliest wednesday. I haven't even gotten in yet to see my nurse prac/doc.

Well, at least there's one adult in the group! Too bad the "kids" won't grow up and leave you alone! It's like somehow if the xh and ow/w can get you to accept them as a couple, they don't have to feel guilty about what they've done.

Hope you're feeling better soon! Rest...rest...rest

I'm a stepmother, so I'd like to add my viewpoint if that's ok.

I would never refer to myself as their "Mom" to anyone. A stepmother who does that really really should not. It's not right. I'm with you on that.

But I have, and will again if my husband wishes, respond to their mother's inquiries for insurance information, etc. Not because I wish to "meddle in her business", but because my husband frequently travels, plus I am the usual contact with our insurance company. Better that she gets a prompt response from me so stepchild gets treatment quickly, rather than say "It's none of my business" and sit on my fingers when I know she'll go unanswered. My husband and I would find THAT to be inappropriate on my part.

My stepchildren are older than your child, I believe. I perfectly understand that I'm not their mother, but I AM their stepmother, and my husband's wife. Stepmothers have found in some situations, that their wages can be included in the husband's income for purposes of Child Support Calculation. Many stepmothers care for children when they are sick, and support as we can. It only seems fair that they be treated as part of a team supporting the child.

I hope that a view of stepparents being "outsiders" is not universally promoted on this forum. I would find that rather sad.

My husband and I feel that we all have to work peacefully together if the children's needs are going to be met. And that would also include her boyfriend, if they ever marry and he becomes a stepfather.

I am sorry you have to deal with your ex-husband and his wife on a frequent basis. It's clear you still find it painful and upsetting. And that you're angry, and I don't blame you for that. It really is lousy for you.

As a stepmother, I just wanted to speak up for my minority group. I'm off my soapbox now... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

You did NOT get the point of my post...instead you spoke of the good SOME stepmoms can do.....

If you're a good stepmom that's great! I am sure you are!

But I have been upset because of a self serving homewrecking stepmom who has done some serious issues imho regarding the health of my son.

1)REFUSED to take my precious son who was having extreme difficulty breathing to children's hospital. She her HER baby and her child from a previous boyfriend at the condo and felt that she just had too much going to take my son to hospital. Her words were like "I mean I have the baby...and B with me...I can't take him to hospital." I yelled at her that maybe if she can't take care of the health of the kids she has..she ought not have them...

2)called doctor and told doctor office of horrible sitch and said she was MOM. She said that my xh went to hospital, waited 2.5 hrs and LEFT! She said all that...then said that SHE gave my son a breathing treatment! If it had not been for ME, and my insistance, my xh would not have maybe had his son to come home to. I had the nebulizer there immediately...and she was all secretive about everything. I demanded my xh take son to hospital.

I am not bashing stepmoms.

I AM bashing stepmoms and OP who THINK THEY ARE READY to be a perfect mom...to step into shoes of a great mom and wreck a home in the process (she was ow ok?)...Problem with this stepmom I am dealing with is she is all about herself. All about her freckle-bleaching, tooth bleaching, always ever tanning, and superficial. She doesn't care a rat's [email]a@@[/email] about my child. Nah...she may like my son...but she is not a real mom in any sense of word..and I worry that her own children may suffer...example: I went over to try to help her out when she was abused by my xh...her little baby who was just learning to stand well and walking/tottering around came dangerously close to a flight of stairs going down at least 2 times in a five minute period. I noticed this and didn't say a word at first...(if the child had gotten on the step I was jumping up)..the child then after having done it for several minutes got on the stairs, wobbled and I jumped up to catch her...her mom NEVER once flinched. Guess she was used to having her nanny there for her. And the fact she is always trying to get in my face now...after I know she is all about only the money there...always trying to get in my face...and after I have had two go rounds with the "don't spank my child" she does it again.

But it's not just HER that's the problem. IT is HIM as well.

It is the blatant disregard of my xh that he have to be forced to sit and wait at a children's hospital...he just couldn't wait could he? Nah. Instant gratification darth. Lemme tell you...I sat once in a waiting room longer and ended up spending almost 3 (few hours short) days in a hospital w/my son a few years ago...during all that time I had to get relatives to get into my home to bring both of us clothes...I didn't eat or sleep for the whole time and ended up helping the RN's start an iv on my own child b/c they weren't able to do so...

and where was DArth? Out cheating.

They BOTH are two very selfish people who accidentally became parents again...her, on purpose, he because he did not like using condoms.

Please don't use my thread to point out good when I am having a sitch completely different than yours. If we were the divorced couple due to some other reason and the split amicable, then I wouldn't have a problem with anybody.

And YES I plan to remarry...but find a man who is responsible, dedicated, and moral. He'd have to love my son equally different but as much as me!

So uh...wouldn't he be a stepdad?

It does cause me pain...any idea why? Not the thought of a stepmom persay...NOOOOOOO

The fact my child is constantly around two very immature individuals who put THEMSELVES FIRST above the welfare of ALL imho kids involved in this situation.

The day that woman refused to take my son to hospital and in her refusal said "oh well. darth should be home in an hour (and Ihear my son gasping for air on the cell phone)" she was officially my enemy.

My son is the world to me.

Any questions?

I don't understand why the new wives feel the need to do this. I would never take it upon myself to call my husband's ex wife. That is his job! Should she call me to ask me insurance stuff I would provide it but I will not be the mediator between them, just as I would not ask my husband to call my exhusband. I'm not jealous of his exwife- he does not want her- so why would any contact between them bother me??

Nobody gets this it seems....It is NOT about insurance stuff...It is NOT whether an xh wants or does not want his xw...
previous poster:I'm not jealous of his exwife- he does not want her- so why would any contact between them bother me??

Uh...that's not terribly nice to say...about the xw. and not what this thread is about.


It is about an ow, now W, and an xh who don't seem to care about my son's issues health wise...

It is about an ow/w who REFUSED

ooopS...

Who refused...REFUSED to take my son to the hospital b/c she was already busy with HER 2 children she birthed...and didn't want the hassle of taking MY son, her stepson to the hospital when he could NOT breathe well at all...it is about an exhausted and sick now (I went to doc and am down w/same thing my son has) dealing constantly with 2 people who don't really do the right thing for my son...

His dad, my xh, the other guilty party here in this specific issue...went to hospital and did take my son...only to leave 2.5 hours after waiting because he didn't like waiting...now is that cool?

And YES! I got my answer why the ow/w is in my face again the last few days...why she keeps calling me on on and on!

Seems my xh is "not behaving himself". Or as she said. She phoned again today. To ask ME....yea, to ask ME IF I WAS FEELING WELL....

WTF?

I finally got sick of this and said to her "I've been worndering why the calls and the contact...so much that is...are things ok? I do NOT want to know anymore as I know what I believe and they're my beliefs and I am hoping you're woman enough to sort out your own marital issues." She just said "well I guess he's not behaving himself as I'd like."

Wow.

Incidentally, I only speak to my xh via email (if I can get away with it) about my son and any pertinent parenting issues. OW/w is not a parent of my son. She may find out when my xh fills her in on something...Then later my xh calls to see how my son is doing (very un-darth like of him) and at end of conversation he says "peach I am sorry you don't feel good. I hope you feel better. Really I do."

WTF?

I just stay away...as far as I can get...unless it involves my son...which it has recently.

It is about documentation and the whole issue here is this:
IS IT OK LEGALLY AND WOULD IT SUFFICE IN COURT IF THAT PARAGRAPH THAT OW/W (her words when she called in doc's office) was altered b/c it was NOT my words nor MY call that day after the hospital fiasco. I asked doc and he said the calendar and visitation schedule and son's even own recollection of who was with him would more than please a court. But b/c I consider her actions NEGLIGENCE AS WELL as the actions of my xh, it could very well end up in a court action one day should this crapola continue.

why doesn't it stop?

because tigers don't changes stripes,
because bears crap in the woods,
because they are mentally challenged,
because they are emotionally challenged,

BECAUSE THEY ARE PEOPLE USERS AND MANIPULATORS. . .

and don't expect it to stop, it never will . .
until the kid is grown up and you have no responsibilities with him. . .

wiftty

I don't...Tomorrow if I am well enough and NO fever, I will go back to work...

And when at work I wil ask docs I work w/their opinion and is there anything they would do differently that I have not yet done regarding the issue...

My fears are a bit heightened as son went off to xh's house late today @ 6pm.

I am worried again. Xh said he's gonna keep me updated on how son's doing.

I guess in the end I just know I always have son's best interest period.