My husband found out I told his family, but does not know yet I told his boss.. He is angry. How do I continue to meet his emtional needs. Do I ignore that fact he is angry and still call and tell him I love him. He won't answer his phone, but I can leave messages.
He is on bussiness trip and will be back Friday, what do I do if he decides to leave? Immed start plan b

Me 26
Him 28
D day 3 sept 05
Plan A 21 sept 05
affair 2 mos

I would not keep calling him. Let him be mad. He will need to go through being angry.

You just said the truth..what's wrong with that???Oh, I forgot...He has a DARK SECRET DOESN'T HE..an embarassing little secret that would make people see what he is really doing!

You did right thing. Let him implode, explode, whatever. But exposure is exactly what the affair enemy does NOT want.

I affirmed this today...on a site lurking.

AFFAIREES HATE EXPOSURES! It is a nightmare for them

I liken it to a vampire being exposed to the light...or to garlic...or IF I WERE DOING IT...I'D EXPOSE THAT AFFAIR VAMPIRE TO WOODEN STAKES THRU THE HEART, LIGHT, GARLIC, SUN...WHATEVER! They deserve it!

He will be angry. Then he will calm down.

He will see what he is to lose. The op just loses period;) That's the beauty of exposure.

I remember when I first exposed monkeyho...I thought I was calling her parents (lived on same street as her)...instead I accidentally called her grandmother who was livid! I made such an impact...her parents were furious! My xh was furious! The grandma wrote her outta her will!

That grandma was my kinda girl. Sorry she had to hear the bad news though. Must be a decent sort.

Don't worry. He will do things as the textbook. Anger, then saving face..then denying...then accepting his involvment..and then see he has too much to lose by carrying on. And if he carries on still? Expose again.

duncad,

You just met two emotional needs of his called........honesty and ......truthfullness

Don't worry sometimes the medicine tastes bad when it goes down but it is necessary.

You done good!

duncad, I wouldn't keep calling him. Let him call you when he calms down. You won't be able to meet his emotional needs much until the affair is over, so focus mainly on busting up the affair and avoiding lovebusters. It's ok if he's mad, don't let it upset you.

Expect him being angry as a means of trying to control anything you might do. As Mel suggested, let him cool down and think about it. Plus when you are continuing to call him over and over then he will feel as though he has you afraid of what he might do. If you don't call him, then you will have him wondering what you might do. Let him wonder a while. He needs to think about the effect of the affair on the marriage.