My husband travels alot with his job to all parts of the world. We have been very happily married for 12 years. During an overseas trip in April he met someone, and it did not appear the relationship progressed until June on another overseas trip where the OW was also on business. Came home, depressed, and went to the UK for work/pleasure in early August. Turns out this is where OW lives and spent 7 days with her. On the day he came home, confessed and said he could not live with his betrayal and needed to move out and clear his head - right!! Apparently the sex with her is amazing and he has never felt like this before. Since then he has been very emotional and has to visit regularly to maintain the property (land) and also use the computer for his work. Sees his two boys regularly and has had them to stay in his temporary housesitting arrangement a few times. About 3/4 weeks ago on another overseas trip where we holiday as a family, I received a text to say that being there was a big reminder what he had given up. Since then there have been numerous other emotional scenes, with tears on a number of occasions, which I have never seen before in our 15 years of being together. Has two days ago returned to the UK for two weeks. Gave him the Joshua Coleman "A family man thinks twice" to read, and he has since emailed me to say it was "very good and has made him think". Other woman is 12 years his junior and their plans are for her to visit (we are on the other side of the world) for a month in January and then relocate here in April next year. She has never been here before, single and knows noone except him here. Before this trip they have been in each other's physical company for less than two weeks, and have just txted/phoned probably most days. I intend being firmer about Plan B upon his return if he is no clearer in his head. Two days before he went on this trip he phoned "to speak to the boys" and when he couldn't contact us, rang every 15 minutes for nearly three hours. Doesn't appear to want us yet, but has admitted finding it very difficult to let go. Any thoughts on what he could be thinking would be appreciated.

Comics, sorry no responses to you on this board for so long... this board moves slowly; Just Found Out has a little more movement, and General Questions II has a lot more.

Have you read everything on this site about infidelity and Plan A and Plan B?

Other books I would recommend, "Surviving an Affair" by Willard Harley, "Love Must Be Tough" by James Dobson, and "When the One You Love Wants to Leave" by Donald Harvey. I just can't recommend all 3 of those books enough, they will give you a lot of insight into what he is thinking. It's really very textbook. He sounds like maybe a midlife crisis?

Sadly, I don't think there is much you can tell him or give him to read that will make him come to his senses. From what I see it's usually reverse psychology and actions that turn things around.

Have you read any books on affairs?