Maybe it has to do with counties, but my divorce is taking a lot longer than that and I'm in Florida. I'm in Pinellas.

I was served about Sept 1 and had 20 days to file my own motion or whatever (not really a motion...but if I wanted to contest or disagreed with anything in the papers I would had to file) with the court (are you sure that's not what the clerk was talking about?). I chose to default after the 20 days (meaning, I did not file any acknowledgement of the papers), but my husband HAD to wait the 20 days. I told him on day 21 to just let them know I defaulted. Once I defaulted, they gave him an approximate court date, of which neither of us has to go to. Soooo...I was served around Sept 1st, take 20 days after that...about Sept 25th or so....and my divorce isn't estimated to be final until Nov 14th.

Well in my case (Volusia County) we went to a paralegal and had every document that the court will need completed. This speeds up the process. Everything they need is filed all at one time. I have just deceided not to fight it any longer, because it has taken such a toll on my physical and mental health. Although I won't tell her at this point, I will hold the door open for a short time, hoping she won't find what she's looking for. How much time, I don't know right now. Really who knows what the future will bring, I'm trying my best to keep my mind on the future, not the present.

FL

Well she filed yesterday, I found the receipt in her car last night. She never mentioned it at all.

FL

Hang in there!!

Its been really crazy the last few days. Have had sex w/WAW several times, she's flirting with me more than ever. Very intimate? I have been looking at houses and talking to mortgage brokers to find a home. We have had lunch together 2 times this week including today. Today she said that "you don't have to be in a hurry to get out, take your time" Likewise she said "I want to be able to have you for a booty call when I get hor**y"??? Can't beleive whats happening to me, is this crazy or what? What do you guys think about this wife of mine? She has totally lost it.

FL

She's nervous and covering her bases.

You are enabling her by having sex with her when SHE wants.

Those are the first things that popped into my head

Should I stop being intimate as well as the sex? Wonder what that would change if anything?

FL

I would say yes...

Why put yourself through that??

I guess it's just meeting my current needs as well as hoping she will come around. She probably just doing this to keep me available for future needs, like handyman stuff. I haven't had any relationship talk for quite a while now. I plan on making a final plea before the D is final. I don't think anything has change though, seems like if it had she would have wanted to talk.

FL

Well I tested the water yesterday. W was at work online completing her mortgage application for my half of our house. I asked her if she had any second thoughts, she said "You always have second thoughts". I then asked if she had reconsidderd, she said "I guess not". I dropped it at that point. As far as the sex goes I think as long as she gets it from me she won't go elsewere, but that can't last forever. Anyway that would keep me from looking for another relationship. Who knows.

FL

Hi friends, W, DS and I went to county fair over the weekend. Had a good time. W is showing a lot of affection? Rubbing my back, kissing, etc. It's really strange. Offered to help me move and paint the inside of the house I'm moving to. Offering to pay for some household items that I will need also. Even said that she was going to keep me as the beneficiary on her life ins and 401K?? Still no sign of another person in her life. I will be moving out December 1st, still don't have a court date yet we still have to take the manditory parenting class before they set the date.

FL

I think you are making your agony longer and longer, do you really want this?

What are you trying to get from this? What will happen when she no longer shows the same affection EVER AGAIN?

She is doing all this because she feels guilty and is trying to redeem herself and when she thinks she has done enough she will be gone and you will be left thinking WHAT IN THE WORLD HAPPENED???!!-

I think you need to love yourself a little bit more, because in case you don't realize it, if she really wanted you she would not let you leave and tell you she will help you paint and buy stuff. Just thinking about having something that my ex bought me for MY NEW PLACE makes me sick!!!

Love is saying -HONEY PLEASE DON'T GO!!! STAY AND LET'S WORK IT OUT, WE DON'T NEED TO BE APART TO REALIZE HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU!!-

What do you have?

You right hopetexas, I guess I'm thinking she would be a better friend than an enemy. Because knowing her if I comment about this behavior she will end it no problem and likewise become cold and distant. I will play this game until the D is final just trying to keep the piece until I'm gone. She seems to think I will still be at her becon call if something goes wrong in her future life.

FL

You know?, when we make a mistake we are punished terribly. I wish Mariano could see that I didn't mean to ever hurt him, and if I ever did I would hug him so hard to erase any bad feeling or pain I caused to him. I grabbed my luggage too many times, and I felt bad about it, but I never stopped to think he was the cause of that reaction, but I said sorry to stop the pain, but did he ever think he caused this behavior?, yes, he was a wonderful man and did try to make things work, but how can you want to make things work when you are hurting your wife with comments about your exgirlfriends and trying to shove the ex-wife into your new life. Sometimes I'm not sure he was to blame, I know I was childish too many times but I also know it was because of his liberal ways.

I love him tooooo much. It takes two to fight and it takes a little bit of sense to know that your wife is not willing to deal with your libeal ways, so it either stops or it stops... it never did, so he quit.

I wish they knew how much pain they are causing, the grass is not greener, and if it is, let's not forget that it takes a lot of poop for it to look that way.

I think about writting a love letter to him and sending it, but I am so afraid to be rejected. My family is counting on my strengh, on me not failing myself. I need to be strong and see how much pain he has caused me.

It's really not me, it's him!!! Love is about forgetting, about hanging on, about hugging each other and saying -I LOVE YOU, AND WE CAN DO THIS, IT I'LL BE OK -

Where is all that love?, where, god, where?

Friends, I don't think she does know what she wants. Someone nice if I remember what she said when she had her EA last year. I think she suffers from depression and is a touch on the eccentric side. She comes home from work every night and just sits on the couch and watches TV, has a little mirror and picks at her face until 8 and then goes to bed. Its Jerry Springer and dating shows she usually watches. This has been her routine for years. I tried to get her interested in some kind of hobby or something for as long as I can remember with no luck. I was distant last night and I could tell it frustrated her. I worry about her future, I point out things that she will have to take care of by herself now and she just says "I'm a big girl"??? I'm pretty much over it, I tried my best to meet her needs, to be at her becon call, to be everything she wants even to the point that I began to loose my self worth and it still wasn't enough. Even though she said she was sorry about the EA, I saw no remorse and no real regret for what she put me and DS through. He went from a straight A student to failing overnight. He has finally turned it around only to be hit by this again. He doesn't know yet and w has not even brought it up about telling him. What a mess!

FL

It's only a matter of weeks now until the D is final. I'll be moving soon. My stbx has turned the affection and intimacy up 10 fold. We are having S every other night? I have continued to look for a sign of an OP and there are none. I want to tell her that I love her so bad, and beg her to stop this madness. I just keep hoping that any day she will turn around. The D has taken on a life of it's own. I may make a last plea the day we go to court, again there are no attorneys involved. She wanted it and I finally gave in instead of her getting an attorney.

FL

FogLight,

If you don't want the divorce why are you agreeing to it? If she doesn't really want much to do with you and she has had an EA she still may be in the fog. However, are you going to be moving with your son? If not why not? She wants this divorce and she works so what is the story?

Look forward to hearing from you.

God Bless,

JL