My mood shifts from one way to the other. I can never tell where I will be. Most of the time I am really sad about what has been happening with my marriage. I miss my husband and best friend. I am being forced into a divorce that I don't want but have been give no choice. Then Wh acts like I am supose to just lay down and take it. If he wants it he gets it. Not with me He started this fight and I will ride it until it ends. But I won't give not one inch why should I?

I didn't ask for any of this but WH seems to think he is entitled to have everything his way. I have lost respect for the most honerable man I have ever know. He has turned into what he really hated. He use to talk bad about people who do what he is doing.Said he didn't know what was wrong with people you should try to make it work not just chuck it all. Out of the horses mouth he said it but I guess it didn't apply to him. Cause now he is the one doing it. I just don't understand how you can go from an honest hardworking, loving, caring husband and father to an empotionally abusive self centered a-hole who doesn't care if your children eat or not. He has been no help the last 2 months but he wasn't much help before anyway show up play with the kids for a few hours then leave again for me to do all the real work. Now he demands his vists regardless of weather he pays his child support or not. I think he has had a brain transplant. He has a 13 year old son he hasn't seen in months. How good of an example they are.

With me i would do what ever it took for the kids I never treated them differntly I didn't give birth to his son but when it came to holidays I bought as much for him as I did for my girls. They where all loved equally when it came to me. Nor hw is with a women who is glad to get rid of her kids and dropps then when ever and where ever. She's not much different from the loser he lived with a while before he met me.

Then he goes and tells his family she is to him all I was to him and it hurts really hurts Cause I know she never will be. I gave up so much to help him with his career and supported him when no one else would. I loved his son his grandmother and grandfather took care of him, Gave birth to his daughter, Managed to buy a house and give him what ever it was he wanted at the time. New phone, new computer, new truck moter whatever.

So exactly what is she going to give him in the end but a pain in the butt when he wakes up. They will both get tired of being hooked together at the hip never being with his fishing buddies no alone time. Oh and the bills will come rolling in the Att the rent, the odds and ends of everything to pay and I will grt 60% of what he makes and she barely get min. wage if she works at all. Which I doubt she does cause she has to much time to be stuck up my husbands butt. She knows who he calls where he goes who's he with. Is that insecure or what. I hope this whole mess blows up really soon .

Good post Joanna, I am with you all the way...

Sounds so much like my WH except the D part has not happen yet. Hopefully it won't....

Best we can do is stay strong and ride this out knowing we are the better people and they will pay for this in time....

Joanna,

Has your WH started D proceedings?

I feel so sad for you and your children. This is a hard time for you all. You will make it thru, you just watch and see and you will become the better, and stronger one in the end. You will see a brighter side to life soon. It's just hard to see that now. Pray and trust the Lord, He will see you thru.

Love, Lady

It's normal. They're out having a party with OP...and you'e home taking care of the kids and doing the real work.

It's fantasyland baby! It is NOT real!

What plan are you in dear? I know you're getting a D...but tell us YOUR plans...what MB'ing have you done...?

My xh did same thing thru divorce. It will make you sick seeing the transformation of a H into a WH...or with a W for that matter.

Will keep you in prayers. Stay strong and channel that anger towards something good. Make it a point to become a better mom...a stronger mom....THE parent who is there for the kids. In the long run, that is what makes the most difference to them during this sad time of transiton...my son for example, KNOWS WHERE HE STANDS WITH ME! With xwh, he doesn't spend much one on one time at all.

A WS cannot make a good parent. Period. There priorities are in wrong spot...the crotch...definitely not in the heart or in the brain.

Well at least I am not alone in all this. I went to church tonight and turned it all over to his keeping. I feel much better in having passed my load again. As far as plans are concerned I did plan a for about 2 months then discovered he was living with OW. So I have been in a solid plan b for about 2 months. But Wh uses any excuse to get me to talk to him. Like tonight he called I was busy DD12 answered the phone and he would not tell her what he wanted. So finally after he showed his butt to her and upset her I talked to him. The only thing he needed to know was if the plans were set for vist this weekend. I told him that when I talked to him on sat that I would handle it. He said well I didn't know. I explained I don't lie if I tell you I will do something then I will. I keep my promises. then he starts going off about that DD12 didn't need to talk to him like she was and I said that this wasn't so important that I couldn't have gotten back with him no reason he couldn't ask DD12 what was going on.( he thinks I should drop everything and run to the phone when he calls) He started going off getting angry and starting to yell at me he said I will not have a 12 year old tell me what to do. I replied well someone needs to and hung up on him.

I don't have to talk to him there is no law that says I do. And my att. says as long as he is getting his vists then there is no need to speak to him. The thing is he upsets me and yells at me and DD12 knows with out me saying a word. She gets upset because she doesn't like me to be upset so I guess she went and called WH and chewed him a new one. Well I don't tell her what to do and when I asked her not to it just made her anger worse. I try not to be involved in thier exchanges. If she wants to talk about it then fine but if not it's okay to. I don't believe in lieing to her or keeping the truth either she is 12 not 2 she is smart and figures out stuff quiker then he gives her credit for.

If he continues with the phone calls and the nastyness I may have to seek out and order to prevent him from calling my house.

Well guys I am to tired to continue to fight for my marriage. I just want out now. I am tired of doing all the work and him not seeing it. I just want out and to get as far away from him as I can. I have woork 6 day weeks and it gets tiring. No support from him rooling pennies for gas to get by. I just want out I am tired of existing and not living . Work, kids and home The divorce cannot happen any sooner for me. I surrender after 5 months of trying.

Joanna,
I am so sorry this is happening to you...

I know how you feel...it just gets tiring after some point...

I have come to the point where I am writing a 'fair yee well' letter to my H in my head all the time...I think it is a sign that it is time for me to accept things and not even stay in contact for the 'just friends' business....

It's been 5 months for me as well...No A here (as far as I know), but still a lot of 'fog' talk and heartache...

Hang in there.....

I know you said you are doing plan B...but it seems that you two are talking a lot...I think if you go dark it will be the best for you...hard to do with the kids it sounds like...

{{{{{{{{joanna}}}}}}}}

Best,
Daisy

(((((((((Joanna & children)))))))))

Love, Lady

Thanks guys
I feel as thought my friends care here more then anywhere. My other friends have trouble relating to what I am ging through right now and think I should just find a new man and move on. That is not whats in my heart. I am missing part of me and I want it back. But I will now longer flail around like a fish out of water. I will hold my head high and march to my marriages death because I did nothing wrong. I have tried to the most of me and I have prayed about it but It is in God's hand now. I will live as I have been living. Even though I am tired I just keep looking at my goal And WH hasn't a clue as to what I am planning. I got a job Offer today to move out to colorado I will look at it and see if it will be worth it. I hope the offer is as good as they claim. Wish me luck