OK....
so I have been listening on the radio in afternoons for an hour when able to steve arterburn....new life live I believe

I don't know much about his/their stuff...but they have written books and run seminars all over the country....

every mans battle
every heart restored
healing is a choice
lose it for life etc

i have never read any nor seen any in my hands...they may be very well known...but I don't know that much about their stuff....it's new to me

BUT

I love their show...it's a call in show....people with problems....

they are funny funny funny....
here's an example..

a guy is dating his fiancee.....they have already had sex...but now want to re-establish celibacy as the wedding nears...and they are struggling with it...

so this steve arterburn and the panel gives all kinds of helpful advice...
like .
find a friend to help with accountability...( they are huge huge support group advocates)...
change their dating patterns so it doesn't lead to much time alone for sex to occur etc....


and in wrapping up the call they are going to send the caller one of their books called every mans battle....

and this steve goes...

I want you to read it
I want your fiancee to read...
you can even read it together...

but don't read it together naked in bed!!!!!!!!!!!!
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
they are honest funny and good with the advice...

here's what I heard the other day as I listened to a man talk of him still being married going slowly through a divorce with a good woman...and now engaged to another woman......but he is struggling with reconnecting with God

and the question this man had was should I go back with my wife.....because she is a good woman....but how do I break up with my OW without being the cause of her blaming God...

they were adamant about him breaking up with the OW...

and this is the part I loved about that call and the advice they got...

they told the guy that while he may believe that this OW is his soul mate...

and that is true....(which made me glare at my radio as they said they were soul mates ...

they went on to say...

you are soul mates...

sick soul mates

well there it is...the only defintion exceptable to me when it comes to the term soul mates....

the mating of two sick souls.........and if the word soul doesn't rock you to the coor and make it painfully clear as to the insidious damage an affair causes and how unhealthy a place it is to exist in..........then let the fog roll in............

so to all the WS who believe that the damage layed in your wake on connecting to your OP....is not of your doing...but unavoidable because your souls are connected and force you to do so..........

I say I agree...
you are sick souled mates....an never is the price worth it
the cost on ones soul........

ARK^^

Wow Ark that was wonderful....... These people seem to have it going on.

I wish every WS could have heard that remark about Sick Soulmates..... It is so true.

But I believe in time those who choose their sick soulmate over their loving spouse will come to the realzation of the mistake they have made. And I would suffice it to say by then the loving spouse no longer cares and has moved on to a happier healthier life. Then the WS has to live with that weighing on their mind for the rest of their lives.

I agree Ark, infidelity/adultery is a soul shattering experience no matter how good it feels for the time. It's a temporary artificial thrill that eventually destroys the person that has given themselves over to it.

I was thinking of Humpty Dumpty last night, (don't ask me why, lol) except that it reminded me of what has happened to my H through his infidelity and relapse. Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a GREAT FALL, all the kings horses and all the kings men, couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again. I think this is the message I cannot put H back together again.

But there is hope for those who want to be put back together again...

The answer...Jesus Christ, and His forgiveness, to turn from it weather the family wants the adulterer back or not. The soul can be saved, put back together, and made whole. Only through the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.....Not people.



Love, Lady

Ark..I heard that call and was glad to hear their response. If I remember correctly, this guy talked about making decisions on a whim without considering consequences.

One of those guys (not Steve) was once involved in an adulterous relationship long ago and speaks of it from time to time. I don't remember which one it is and if he was on that day but he speaks often about how terrible it is to live in that situation. It's good that people can hear from someone whose been there done that.

I don't know if it's me in that I'm more sensitive to the issue, but it seems that the adultery questions are more frequent.

I love that show! Those are great books, btw.