My husband and I met, married 1 yr later, and had a baby 9 months after that. Baby #2 is on the way. I was working full time, now 30 hrs, have Bachelors' degree and in late 30's. I pay the mortgage and all the bills. Husband has business with brother and used to have a substantial income before we met. Now they are always in the red and bring home maybe 100-200 a month. That is fine, except the partner's wife works a little part time job and keeps money for her own things. How are they paying their mortgage etc., they also have two children in school. They take vacations...drive and stay at friends houses, seem to have lots of money for fertility...wife gave up on having more children now. I don't get it. When I mention it to hubby he says it is none of our business how they pay for their stuff. The thing is when we are desperate for money, hubby finds it. When I was on maternity leave for 3 months, hubby paid. As soon as I went back, back in the red. He says it was just coincidental. However they are going to court to pay a substantial amount for his car that has almost been in repo. They found that money as well, he says it was luck how they were able to finagle it temporarily. They hope the business creditors they are not paying due to this will hold out. So, when I see them spending money for stuff, my wheels start spinning. Why do we have no money for stuff! Am I being unreasonable/blind/selfish? Thank you so much for any feedback !

YOur post sounds so familiar? Have we met? I swear I have read this post before, or you posted before with no response. Your husband doesn't have much of an income and he's not helping out, meanwhile you are struggling to find out what he's hiding, am I right? Its' simply a case of "what does my husband do about our money" or at least that's how it looks from here.

What worries me is the WE all the time. Since when did your household include all these people? Who is the couple, you and your husband, he needs to be reminded of that. Ask him directly about your finances as they should be under yours and his control. He must tell you, keep asking until you get a clear answer.

Nat

I am a H, and I do not make almost half of what my wife makes. It is stresful not being able to take care of W. my wife lived outside our means of spending for years. Now she got a good job and want to drop me.

All I ever wanted to was to support us by any means necessary. Legally! Hopefully you can trust him enough to have patience until his break through comes

Hey to husband and no income. Step one is to motivate him to work for the sake of you and your family, but if he doesnt like to eat you could mention that too. Also, you could tell him that since there is another one of his children on the way and you did not do that all by yourslef that he is entitled to at least half of the responsibilites of your children This site might also help you out too, it helped me out with just some general Q and A's, www.marriedfinances.com .

I do really hope that all turns out well for you dear. And dont forget to get him off the couch...