OK, I have been hurt but this one takes the cake, I am shaking and very upset.

I get home tonight and have a message and it I can hear a man keep saying "I am going to be gentle, I am going to be gentle." Then I hear my wife say "Your hurting my leg." Then I hear moaning and hear my x-wife have an or&*gsm! I know it was her, I regognized all of it.

My guess is her boyfriend taped it, and then called me, and played it on my answering machine. I have never met the guy but he looks like a loser.

My entire story with her EA's and PA's are bizarre for sure but this one hurt me really, really bad. Why would anyone do something like this to me? I really need some encouragement tonight.

Keith

That does take the cake. I am so sorry for you. I am realizing what EA's and PA's do to people. Why do we do that?

Are your children in any way exposed to these mentally ill people?

BHINWI~~

If this was done deliberately, he is a sick man.

I don't know of anything more cruel than doing something like this.

Try to keep your cool with this one. I can imagine the shaking feeling that your describing, but please don't act on it.

Take care,
Karona

Save the tape. You may need it. This does sound sick.

I got the above from your signature lines. I do not know your story but I wonder why you are so quick to dismiss the fact that is your x-wife that has hurt you over and over and over. Now that you two are divorced how can she hurt you again? Maybe this is it. Why is it that you jump to suspect most recent OM who probably barely knows you exist at this point? This action is so hurtful I would call it a crime of passion and just like homicide detectives suspect the spouse when a body is stabbed 36 times I would suspect your x-wife.

Do not communicate this incident to anyone. The only way to neutralize her is to become indifferent towards her. It's done, it's over. Talk about it with your counselor and us but do not discuss it with her.

Just my opinion. I hope I am wrong and I am sorry you had to endure that.

Mr. Wondering

I did tell my best friend and he listened to the tape. He used to adore my x-wife but he said after what he has seen her do to me since 1995, he said don't be so sure that she did not send it. He made me erase it and from a legal standpoint, maybe that was wrong but for me, it was right. I listened to it a dozen times and my friend said to erase it from my answering machine and from my mind.

I will not contact my X on this. I almost did and my friend said no way!!! He really, really calmed me down.

This one just knocked me to my knees.... To listen to another man doing it to my x, and listen to her enjoy it, was... I can't even describe it.

Keith

Melody,

Yes, we have 50/50 custody. Children are exposed. I document everyhing including this. My friend is my witness as her heard the tape.

This is just so incredibly wrong and cruel.

Keith

This is f'ing despicable......not much else to say, If I am this digusted and mad about this, I cannot imagine how you feel...ugggh.

LM <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I can't imagine that you would allow your children around these mentally ill adults. These are folks who don't know right from wrong and shouldn't be alone with children. Why not take the tape to your attorney and get full custody with supervised visitation?

Tape is erased - I should not have erased it. I just could not stand it. It was like he was doing it her right in front of me.

You can un-erase it. Specialists can do that -- it's not too big a deal.

((Keith))

You should do everything in your power in un-erased the tape. It may come handy for future custody or other legal battles. You never know. She is sick and you should protect yourself from her.

I am sorry for you having to hear that garbage.

Little known fact..

AFter being separated maybe four months, I went to a huge party...very well known partygiver in ATL. I mentioned to a few of my friends I would go with them...not knowing at the time one of my then, buddies was actually sleeping with one of darth's friends...

Anyway, the day of the party my son went off to darth's home. We were separated. It was his weekend and he had less time legally than now.

I go to party feeling like Cinderella. I was looking wonderful! My first event ever without darth.

And then it happened.

My friend, who threw the party, we wer standing in his library and looking at the front veranda area...he said "wow...somebody is coming to my party in a limo...am I that special?"

Next...a la cheech amd chong...my xh falls out of the limo along with 3 girls amd 1 other guy. Mouth falls to floor. My friend, the host, Mike, says that "who is that...why are you so white?" I tell him it's my husband.

He says to act like I don't see him. That there are approximately 200 people here at his home and that he will make me blend in.

So I do.

I climb his spiral staircase and have my girlfriends hide around me. I see something I have never seen before.

I see my xh , then my WH, enter the party..dance around...dance up AGAINST other women...and act wierd...like he's on drugs or something.

I am freaked out!

I tell our friend that i can't take this anymore and need to go home.

On my way out, darht sees me...he comes over and accuses a guy (*not my friend btw) of being somebody that's interested in me, and offers me a limo ride home. I tell him that I drove myself and that I am fine with my friends.

Later that night at approximately four am...I get a disturbing phone call...which I let my vmail answer. It is darth...and he's not asleep. He is saying really course amd sleazy words.."hey Mrs. Darth..why in the @ell ar en't you over here [email]F2c@ing[/email] your Mr. Darth?? And then I hear him say to girls in room wherever he is that they should dance a little closer...and I hear a girl giggle...and I hear him giggle...and I hear him say to take that off.

And my son was with that monster that weekend.

This is the stuff until now I do not post.

This happens.

When you're dealing with a WS.

Crazy.

Where was my son? Being watched by his eighty plus year old great grandmother (darth's idea) at his home. Plus she is deaf almost.

I handed this to attorneys...but alas, darth has about several million more than my few thousand in reserves. It does count legally...who carries the cash.

But they do this.

I am sorry for your pain.

It helped me detach further.

I could after that NOT imagine ever sleeping or being intimate with darth ever again. It made me want to hurl.

And to think he was with FV...during that time in his life. Makes me sick.

But I think ti is some sick and twisted thing in their minds to call their BS...or show them or send them some kind of evidence that they are consummating their affairs.

When my ex-fiancé did something that was clearly aimed an hurting me I found solace in directing her actions away from the pain it was supposed to cause me towards further confirming the relief I was free of her. I would suggest you try the same. When you mentally listen to the recording rather than concentrate on the pain concentrate on the freedom, relief and happiness being without her offers you.

As long as your wife uses sex in such a diminishing way that only reflects how lost she is with any true loving and nurturing aspects....

what they did to you...is nothing......what damage they do to them selves and their own relationship ever having any depth or meaning is something they can not get over...
they have so little together that the most they do is use themselves as a weapon...in the most vulnerable way that they can..........

know that she is more wounded than you...

loving people can not imagine using their interactions as a weapon............

take heart Keith....
remain a light in her world and pray she finds he way back to decency.......that's all you can do.......

and also know........
that guy can't be that good if he was hurting her leg..obviously
"he's doing it wrong"......... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

they are pathetic...
and that is NO reflection of you........

ARK

BH
Remember that hate is not the opposite oflove, indifference is.

Your W obviously has strong feelings for you - some need to affect your life isn some way still. I equate her action here to that of vandalism: people too enfeebled to make a positive effect on their commmunity destroy and annoy instead. It s a cheap way of affecting people's lives.

Your W is vandalising your heart.

BTW it was a man having sex with your EX wife. She's not your wife anymore BH. You have to let go. Really.

All blessings

Thanks everyone... I just don't believe she sent it - I believe HE sent it. But, I guess I will never know. I would not hurt my worst enemy with something like this.

Things like this make me lose faith in decency. Someone has to be incredibly cruel to do this to me.

I will not bring it up with her.. She has to live with her decisions...

Keith

IMHO, leaving that message is a sign of self-hatred and low self-esteem. The person(s) that left that message just purchased one way tickets on the karma bus. You won't know when they get on, and shouldn't worry when they step back off. It will happen.

I once read a story about a guy who's evil WW(And of course not all wayward people are evil, but some truly are) and her OM(his best friend) and HIS wife all three started playing with the guy. They had nicknamed him The Blob because of his recent weight gain. Once at a dinner, they had his ww ask him if he ever saw the movie, The Blob.

The guy began suspecting something was going on and snuck into his "friend's" house. He found pictures of his wife, his friend, and the friend's wife having sex and the journal they kept on "The Blob" and how the OM and his wife gave the ww goals, like asking about the movie at dinner, or toying with the guy the idea of having sex, then rolling over and going to sleep all the while saying she loved him and was just tired then later journaling how much a "fool" he was and having a good laugh at "his expense".

I believe people like that will suffer greatly before they die because I really believe what goes around comes around.