My husband comes home today from a buss trip. He hasn't spoke to me in 3 days because I exposed him while he was gone. I am not sure what he will do when he gets home. Do I have this right:

Plan A

- Expose
- Do little somethings, like bring them coffee, leave a note or jokes around
- Keep the house clean, my self looking good, and let him see how a warm happy home

If I started Plan A on 21 Sept then I should do this no longer then 3 mos which wold be 21 Dec... wow, thats really close to Christmas <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />


- Plan B leave him a note that says for my protection I will not be able to be with him or talk to him anymore unles he stops all contact with his lover

I am not an expert on this stuff, but here is how I have to look at it. I realized that I stink at plan A because I think as his wife, I am entitled to first dibs on his heart. Well, that is just not the case. So I have to act just like I would when wooing anyone. Being appealing, having every interaction with you leaving them with a postive feeling about themselves. People want to be around people that make them feel good about themselves. Being affectionate without seeming needy or clingy. Just be someone that people want to be around.

If you know you WH's top emotional needs, bust your butt to meet them. I started reading Dr Phil's relationship Rescue and I like it because the beginning f it is all about learning about yourself-stuff that you need to know no matter what happens with you marriage.

Don't freak out about Christmas yet, so much can change between now and then. But your plan A objective is to get your WH to a point where he would miss you terribly IF you have to plan B. For me, my Wh would jump for joy if I plan B'd so I may be plan Aing or a long time.

You have read the carrot and stick thing right? Home life=good feeling for WH, adulterous muck=bad feeling for WH.

Good luck to you!