Well it was suggested I post here. I'm just coming to the realization that this is an EA. My main post is here.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...;page=0#2843431

So she ran into him a few years ago at a funeral. She knew she would. It was his grandfathers funeral. She has been very close to his mother as long as we've been married. even though there is no contact with him. Hates my mother and for good reason.

He is across country I believe. There is no physical affair. I really don't think there is any communication at all. However she's convinced she made a mistke by marrying me and should have waited for him. He had dumped her and got married. He's now divorced.

I know she's planning on how to divorce me. Her counselor, who was just divorced, has her convinced she should follow her feelings. She is suggesting books to her such as "the Easy divorce"

My wife is somehow convinced that we can easily transition from married to best friends. We are best friends now. We run a business together. She likes the status of being a business owner and in her mind she can stay there. I know she thinks she can have her cake and eat it too.

She has moved out. I am building a living quarters in the building we own together. She wants to live there later and have me get my own place.

All signs say that she wants to stay in the area. Since he lives across country this is strange. She doesn't seem to want to go to him or vice versa but feels she is in love with him.

I found some notes to herself. They said. I must move out to become an individual. I must be single to grow as an individual. I will as wufihs for a divorce. This is not being cruel. We will be friends.

We walked through ****** together. I'm certain there are some scars left over from it. But there is much more to it than that.

Thanks

wufihs

Wow, I hope you have read all about Plan A. It sounds to me like she is really living in a fantasy land.

I would let her know that you are husband and wife, and cannot go back to being friends. Tell her that you plan to stay married.

Is there anything else going on in her life that would make her unhappy?

I'm going to read it again for sure.

That's been my issue. I'm afraid to open up that conversation just yet. If she's going to open up the divorce conversation, then she's going to do it.
I have told her I won't give up on this. I'll do it again.

There has been plenty in her life to make her unhappy. Financial mostly. We were getting there financially then the gas prices killed us. We're trying to rebound from it. Things are looking like we might be getting things straightened out financially in about 2-3 months. What we went through ruined our credit. However I've been working on fixing it and have made strides. Once we get out from under the hard money loan by refinancing we'll have our heads above water. We've just franchised out and our first franchisee is looking like he's going to be sending us a good income shortly. Other business prospects are looking good also.

She's also been in a self discovery mode for awhile.. She has been trying to better herself and has made strides.

She had a lot of problems dealing with death. '02 sent a lot our way. Her best friend was murdered, The death of my teacher was what sent us on this tailspin. My best friend committed suicide. My uncle, who she was very fond of died. And a few others. All of this in a very short time. She didn't deal well with any of it.

I'll try to think of what else she might be unhappy about. She has been depressed for a long time.

wufihs

Just looked at the history on her computer and I see that she is looking at a luxury bed and breakfast up the hill from here.

The website address was scribbled on a piece of paper on her desk yesterday. Wasn't hidden or anything. She's not a sloppy person.

I'm really going to try not to jump to conclusions on this.