I am having a hard time dealing with my husband's ex and it is causing tension between us. A little background history. My husband and I have been friends for over twenty years. We all spent time together as couples when we were married to our other spouses. Of course you would think that there may be hard feelings. No we didn't start seeing each other or professed any love until years after we both were divorce. But his ex made us believe that she was fine with everything because she was already engaged and living with someone else. His ex-wife attended our wedding and has traveled to spent holidays with us at my family home(she is in NY, we are in MD). A couple of years after their divorce she allowed him to pay a decreased child support amount than what was in the divorce decree for the last four years but they never went to modify it with the court. She just went and closed the case with child support enforcement. Well, now she is pregnant and every two months she has asked for an increase. We have been able to accomdate her up to this point by buying all clothes, paying all daycare and extra activities, even paying her when we have the child for the summer. But she is complaining that her new baby's daycare is going to cost her over $800 a month, so she need another increase from him. I don't think it is fair for us to have to help pay for her new baby. But since the last order states that he is to pay a higher amount, she wants to take us back to court. She lives with her husband-to-be, they just moved into a new place and he just bought a new SUV. I am upset by her threats, but my husband is choosing to ignore her. She is leaving messages on the phone, not allowing him to talk to his daughter and sending emails. She has made false statments in the emails to get him to respond. I know he is doing the right thing by ignoring her, I just feel like she is getting away with lying. I feel that because the last order is for a greater amount they may take her side. Any advice on how to keep sane through this situation?

Do you have a good lawyer? That is one way to cope with the sitch, turn it over to a qualified person.
I don't get the logic of her having a new baby with a new man, and demanding that the father of their own (born to both your H and the exW) pony up more money to help with costs for a baby that he didn't father.

Am I missing something?

If he has been paying her less than a court-decreed amount, she can sue him for all that back-child support.

She probably feels that she gave him a 'break' when she was working and didn't need the money. Now the situation has changed. She is trying to tell your husband that $800 of her income will go to childcare expenses of her new baby and she can no longer afford to subsidize the part of his support that she forgave him.

I hope that you have kept careful record of all those extra's you say your husband has subsidized or paid for. You may need this for the courts.

Good luck and start saving your money, honey. I'm afraid you are going to need it.

I am in a similar situation my H ex-wife is asking for more money. We already supply all medical and a insane amount of money for child support. We buy clothes for them. Really anything they need. We have them almost 50% of the year although we pay the same amount every month. He has two childern by his ex-wife. One is 10yrs old and the other 6yrs old. She has remarried and has a new baby. My husband is currently serving in Iraq. She brought it to my attention that her new husband didn't like his job and that he would be quiting after Christmas. She will be needing more child support to take care of her family since he won't be working and her pay won't be enough. They recently bought a $80,000 house and 2 new vehicles. Why should we have to pay for her to live so well? They say to keep all records of anything we buy or pay. Although in the state of Texas he doesnt get credit for anything that doesnt go through the state. Good luck!

We do understand that she can sue him for the back support but we are hoping that the judge will take into consideration that it was an agreement between the two. When the original order was set, she didn't have a job nor any skills. They were divorcing and he was the only working person in the family. Now she is a college graduate with a live-in boyfriend, a new baby due next month, a brand new apartment and a new SUV. My husband on the other hand is no longer a full-time employee, he is starting his own business. So he is making less money than he was when the order was placed. Hopefully the judge will take all of that into account. Since my husband told her to go ahead to court, no one answers the phone when he calls to talk to his daughter and no one returns his messages. We think that maybe she is changing her mind about going to court. The order also states that she can't live with or have overnight guest of the opposite sex in the house with the child. So I think she is re-thinking her position.

First of all, as you said, she fully agreed to less, plus her situation has changed, which would warrant a review.

The cohabitation clause is a good point, except that your husband has known that she's been shacking up with that man, and didn't notify the court.

I'd love to know how it works out. Good luck!