The fact that we are going to be divorcing is not news to me. The fact that he thinks I'm lazy, selfish and rude is news to me. The fact that he thinks I'm to blame for our daughter's emotional problems, and the fact the she tried to kill herself last week is news to me. The fact that he thinks I'm a terrible mother is news to me. I don't think I could hurt right now anymore. I feel worse and lower than I ever have in my entire life. I know I have emotional issues, I know I tend to be lazy and selfish, I know I am sometimes too hard on our daughter. Right now I feel like I am someone else, watching a TV show, and that this isn't my real life. I've not been happy for a long long time either, but I thought we could fix it. But he's right. Too many trips to therapists for counseling, small changes for a little while and then the old habits come right back. It hurts like heck, but he is right. I'm scared to death because my salary is just barely above the povery line and he makes 6 figures. I'm not going to just hand over our daughters to him, and I don't think we should sell the house or move or anything. I know he's a good dad, and basically a good man so I'm not too worried that he will turn awful. But I am scared to death about being a single mother, even if I think the independence will be good for me since I have never, ever been independent. I am terrified of ending up like his mother, going from man to man, horrible relationship to horrible relationship, only to finally give up, have myself declared unable to work due to mental illness and live off the government. I don't even know where to start.

Divorce laws vary by state. Check out these sites for more information so you will have an idea about what to expect legally if he files. Divorce Source , Divorce info, Divorce Net .

• How old are your kids?
  
• How long have you been married?
  
• Do you have family nearby to lend emotional support?
• What actions are you willing to take to save your marriage? This site (not the discussion forums) is a wealth of information, and it would help if you were familiar with it. The things contained will help you as a person, whether you remain a couple or not.
• What type of 'emotional issues' are you dealing with? Are you seeing a doctor or are on meds for them?

When the "announcement" comes from one's spouse, we all hear a lot of things we didn't want to hear. Some of the things said are true, some are exaggerations, some are not true at all. Examine yourself and see if anything he said may be based in fact. That will be a good starting place for you.