Wh,

How dare you turn all of this on me. Why is it you feel the need to make me the bad guy here? I did not make you have this affair, you chose it of your own free will.

Your excuses you use really don't wash with me anymore. I used to believe them but after much thought and prayers I realize it was not you claim it to be.

Yes, I may not have been the perfect wife or mother but I did everything for our family. I sat here for 12 years raising our 3 children while you chased your dream of being a truck driver. I sat here for weeks on end with 3 small kids and took care of everything. From the bills to the house and everything in between. I never once complained about being alone.

You have no idea how lonely I was and needed someone to be here for me just for a hug or a " Wow, honey your doing so great." And in all that time I never even thought of straying from our marriage, oh the chances were there but my vows and my love for you stopped me from doing that.

What about the other years before you found your dream and drifted from job to job and I stood beside you and struggled with you. I never walked away when things were not to my likeing. For 24 years I have stood beside you and done the best I could.

yes for the last year and a half thigs changed. I became depressed and withdrawn ffrom you and life itself. You cried to our friends just a few short months ago how worried you were and how much you loved me and didn't know what to do. Instead of coming to me and talking and telling me how you were feeling you kept it inside. Now you admit you were wrong in not talking to me and you wish you had. Now you say to me "If I had known you loved this much I would have never left." If you had only asked and talked to me you would have known.

You could not tell me you felt unloved and unwanted. Why could'nt you do that? I would have listened we could have gotten the help we needed to work this out. Instead you chose to talk with another woman. What did this accomplish? Nothing it just made things worse for us and our family.

I know this woman this is not her first time for doing this. She wanted you and she told you the right things and made you feel good. You chose not only to betray me wih an affair you also gave her all the details of my personal life with you. So yes she is doing all that you feel you weren't getting at home. Have you not figured out that she will do these things because you told her what you want and need. Do you really think it will continue this way forever? She is human just like you and I and eventually it will become old and yo uwill find yourself in the same situation but with a different person.

How can you defend this person as being a good person to your family and children? How can she be a good person when she has allowed herself to become part of triangle with a married man. What kind of mother can she be to her own child when she would allow a married man move into her home with her teenage daughter living there.

WH you have torn us all apart with selfish and uncaring actions and words. Your words mean nothing to me anymore. I can't believe anything you say anymore. You tell me you still love me but your actions show otherwise. You are still with her. You threaten me with divorce everytime you get mad and don't get your way. Well so far I see no action on that either.

Do what you think you must do to be happy. If you think throwing away our family and 24years of marriage is worth it all. I can not imagine anyone in this world worth throwing all you have and all the people who love you away for.

I truly believe in time you will realize this. No one including OW can ever take the place of what you are loosing. She may tell you she can but she can't give you the love of your wife you have now, your children and grandchildren. You are even willing to throw away your mother and sisters. How sad for you that you believe she is worth all of this hurt.

I pray one day you will see the light and do the right thing by your family. But if you never do you will be one lonely person because I do not believe you will ever be truly happy with what you have now.

Just remember I am the one who vowed to you 24 years ago to love you forever. I am the one who gave you 3 beautiful children and now you have 2 beautiful grandsons, which one of them is named after you.

I hope and pray that you realize what you are doing before its to late. I find myself pulling away from you as each day goes by. The pain is killing what love I have left for you a little each day. I just wish you could think with a clear mind and really see reality.

I do love you with all my heart, I just wished you felt the same.

{{{{{HIO}}}}}}

(((Hurting)))

Just another rung on the recovery ladder hopefully. Too bad our WH won't stick around long enough to see how great we are turning out from this mess-huh?

Jean,

I hope I am on the road to personal recovery. I do feel good most days now. its just after the weekends and all his drama that gets me down.

I think once I can get this financial mess cleared up I will feel a lot better. WH will then be the one with the stress of trying to pay for two households. Oh well his problem not mine.

I will be fine once this is all done and I don't have to deal with it. Then it will be just wait until he either files or gets his head outta his butt.....

I believe the head outta butt thing though is not the one that will happen...... But I will be fine....

Sometimes when dealing with WH, I hear Buzz Lightyear's (from toy story) voice in my head saying "What a poor sick little man" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I agree..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> {{{{{Hurting}}}}}

I hope he heard every word of your letter in the spirit, Hurting.

This is truly sad what you have went through. I can't fathom him throwing away 24yrs together with you, and the total family, for what he has now. All he has now is a temporary articial thrill, he just doesn't know it... yet.
His thrill will wear off, and like you said, I hope it's not too late by then.

Love, Lady

I think your words speak for many of us.

I pray its not to late either Lady.... I really do

I wish he could hear those words and really believe them.
he is so fogged out nothing sinks in. All he hears is what the OW is telling him. All he see's is what she shows him. The rest of us don't count nor do our feelings.

(((((Hurting)))))

Your letter says it for a lot of us here. You are getting through this though. My prayers are with you.

I got some strength from church today. A Holy woman is one of the strongest people in the world.

Who would you rather take a punch in the nose from? Mother Teresa or Mike Tyson?? Mike Tyson b/c Mother Teresa had the power of God behind her. Her punch would have been like a lightening bolt.

(This was from the Pastor today)

Kim

Kim,

Wow that is powerful and oh so true.

I am trying to make it through this a day at a time. Some days good some days bad. Today being a bad one. I think if I had not seen WH yesterday even though it was a very short time I would have been ok.

I made every precaution possible to make sure he was no w here around and he shows up like a bad penny and ruins my whole weekend....