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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 148
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How do I tell my husband no contact?
tryingtogetit
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,200
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I'm assuming No Contact with OW?? right??
State your boundaries calmly, but firmly. Tell him it hurts you when he speaks or sees the OW. Tell him that a M consists of only two people not three. I don't know where you are in your sitch. I know the experts will be here shortly.
Is you WH ready to commit to No Contact??
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 2,160
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How about "Hubby, if you have any idea of getting back together with me, you will not contact that other woman in any way, shape, form, or fashion EVER again, period. Is that understood?"
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 16,412
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"H, I love you, but I don't do triangles. I'm unwilling to share you with another woman. In order for our marriage to survive, all contact with the other woman must stop, otherwise it will create too much conflict between us, and so much pain for me that our interaction will be harmful and destructive. There is an ethical and unethical way to begin and end relationships...this isn't it. You are still married to me, and I hope that as long as you are....you will care about me enough as your wife to respect me."
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
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I know you mentioned he worked with her in some capcity. You make have to talk to him about transfering to another position where he is not in contact with her. I'm sure since his boss now knows about the situation that something like that might be able to be worked out. Companies usually don't like affairs taking place at the office. It opens companies up for liabilities.
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
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duncad..
please explore with yourself your hesitation to state clearly that your idea for marriage is to NOT be a participant in a triangle...
what is it that is stopping you from saying that ?
you might want to start there
ark
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 370
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Hi everyone,
I'm new and in the position as Duncad. My husband had an affair with his secretary and refuses to leave. He is saying he is in the process of transfering her, but I think he's just stalling. It's been 4 months - tells me things have to be "done right", can't just transfer her. Indicates he has "no contact" with her??? strictly business. We are trying to work it out, but with her there, for me it's just impossible. If you need more details - I am under "need advise". Spelled advice wrong the first time - I was so shaky, upset, when I wrote. I can sure use help from some people.
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