My WH has spoken to a lawyer and is very hot and bothered to get a divorce going. I really don't want a D (I have been posting on the infidelity board) but I can't get him to consider the marriage.

So, we are in Tennessee, is there any advantage to filing first? He will file for irr. differences, I would love to countersue for adultery. I can get the paperwork together faster than he can as he has left the family home.

I felt like I could just wait and see what he is offering, but sitting here doing nothing makes me very nervous.

And on a separate issue: What are the chances that I can keep his MOW away from my children until her divorce is final also?

TIA

Wow what a backwards state that would require grounds. I did look up TN statutes for family law

TN statutes

Title 36 DOMESTIC RELATIONS - click on the more tab to see the statutes past 21, and then on the title to see the chapters.

This is kind of sticky. Do you have children? If he has abandoned the family home and the children are with you, then you have an edge for custody if you stall and let the status quo continue with the children living with you. If you feel that the children would benefit by staying with dad as frequently as possible, then offer a 50/50 arrangement, knowing that you may not get much child support.

There is no definite advantage to filing first - let him go ahead and do it. If you countersue just remember that it will be very expensive to hire a lawyer. I don't know about your financial situation, but the sooner you start thinking about money and how you will survive after this mess the better off you will be. If you have evidence (I'm talking hard evidence like photos, witnesses, etc) of the sort that a lawyer would say - yes this is good, and you need alimony to help you until you can educate yourself or earn a decent wage, then filing a counter may be helpful.

Call a couple of lawyers and try to get some free advice over the phone or a free session to discuss their taking your case. Read the statutes and ask specific questions about property, custody, and grounds.

V.