Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,197
J
Member
Member
J Offline
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,197
My WH has spoken to a lawyer and is very hot and bothered to get a divorce going. I really don't want a D (I have been posting on the infidelity board) but I can't get him to consider the marriage.

So, we are in Tennessee, is there any advantage to filing first? He will file for irr. differences, I would love to countersue for adultery. I can get the paperwork together faster than he can as he has left the family home.

I felt like I could just wait and see what he is offering, but sitting here doing nothing makes me very nervous.

And on a separate issue: What are the chances that I can keep his MOW away from my children until her divorce is final also?

TIA


Me-41 BS (FWS)
DH-41 WS (FBS)
2DD's- 10 and 12
Married 15 years
Separated for 2 years after my A
Reconciled for 1 year before his A
D-day for his A 8/23/05
WH moved out 9/16/05
Divorce final 1/23/07
Affair ended or month or so later
My Story
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 675
S
Member
Member
S Offline
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 675
Wow what a backwards state that would require grounds. I did look up TN statutes for family law

TN statutes

Title 36 DOMESTIC RELATIONS - click on the more tab to see the statutes past 21, and then on the title to see the chapters.

This is kind of sticky. Do you have children? If he has abandoned the family home and the children are with you, then you have an edge for custody if you stall and let the status quo continue with the children living with you. If you feel that the children would benefit by staying with dad as frequently as possible, then offer a 50/50 arrangement, knowing that you may not get much child support.

There is no definite advantage to filing first - let him go ahead and do it. If you countersue just remember that it will be very expensive to hire a lawyer. I don't know about your financial situation, but the sooner you start thinking about money and how you will survive after this mess the better off you will be. If you have evidence (I'm talking hard evidence like photos, witnesses, etc) of the sort that a lawyer would say - yes this is good, and you need alimony to help you until you can educate yourself or earn a decent wage, then filing a counter may be helpful.

Call a couple of lawyers and try to get some free advice over the phone or a free session to discuss their taking your case. Read the statutes and ask specific questions about property, custody, and grounds.

V.


Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 682 guests, and 73 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
ameliamartin, Nicholas Jason, daisyden878, Oren Velasquez, Kerniol
71,999 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Annulment reconsideration help
by Oren Velasquez - 06/16/25 08:26 PM
Roller Coaster Ride
by happyheart - 06/10/25 04:10 PM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by risoy60576 - 05/24/25 09:12 AM
Advice pls
by Steven Round - 05/24/25 06:48 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,623
Posts2,323,508
Members72,000
Most Online3,224
May 9th, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0