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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 646
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 646 |
Not sure why I am thinking about her today, but I am. Not sure what I am thinking about her but she is lurking today.
The WS says they don't compare the BS to the OP, but the WS seems to think there should be the same kind of passion in a marriage as in an affair. Why?
Is that something all marraiages should seek to attain?
Are the WS trying to turn their marriages into their affair?
What kind of unfair expectations do people have for marraige?
Why do people make fantasy compete with reality? It's frusterating.
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 10,107
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 10,107 |
Loy
IMO 90% of the 'love' of an entanged affair is the novelty. The differentness, not the 'betterness'.
I can be a lot of things to Squid, but I can never be brand new to her again. She can never be brand new to me.
I am passioately in love with my baby, but it is not fed by novelty but by FAMILIARITY. Its a slower burning but far deeper passion. OM wouldnt even pay for the motel room for Squid but I'd die or kill for her.
Which passion would you rather have Loy ?
All blessings.
MB Alumni
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,719
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Posts: 1,719 |
Loy let me compare one thing with the BS and the Op - the BS never cheats - the OP is a cheater, liar, and is decietful? Which one would you rather have?
married 21
Together 26 -
OW 2yrs, he worked with her and found secret e-mail account.The first cut is the deepest.
just found out H is a serial cheater - total cut to pieces now- saw a D lawyer today.
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 646
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 646 |
I know what passion I'd rather have.
Are you haunted by the other person? Not like night terrors or anything, but just lurking shawdows.
ick.
Loy
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 646
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 646 |
Maybe I am getting to a stage where I should stop focusing on the affair, but I am now sort of trained to think about it.
I need to relearn how to live without the affair.
Is that a crazy thought?
Loy
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 10,107
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 10,107 |
Loy
No I'm not. Really. That's good isn't it?
I'm sad when I think of what's been lost, but thats not all the time and its not like being 'haunted'. I don;t fear anything pertaining to the affair or our marriage anymore.
Sad's not fun but its better than scared by a LONG way IMO.
MB Alumni
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 646
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sad is better than scared.
Loy
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Joined: Jul 2004
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I realise a lot of my hatred for OM was fear of his ability to shatter my fragile life and hopes for the future. I worked out highly credible ways to affect him if he chose to attack me again. It made me fear him less and occasionally cheers me up to know he fears me. Its probably a bloke thing <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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