Thought I'd let everyone know that I was still alive and yes still miserable!! LOL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Seriously, nothing has really changed. I spoke to my attorney about custody, he said I had a little better than 50/50 chance of getting custody of my daughter, but that it would cost me a lot of money with no guarantees. My wife still won't do anything. She won't file for divorce and lately she has started coming home with a almost hateful attitude. She mentioned that maybe we should consider an "open" marriage. LOL She's insane!!! She now believes that the best thing for her would be to separate/divorce and maybe she would find out how much she screwed up and then we could get back together. She stills says that she resents me, doesn't respect me and that she knows she doesn't love me the way a wife should. So what the heck are we doing still married. Who knows???

I fully expect that I will file for divorce, but for now I'm trying to enjoy my daughter and decide what kind of divorce I want to have. I won't lie, the door is still open, but I don't see her making any changes or attempts to try and fix the damage that has been done in our marriage. I guess there is no rush. We still need to sell the house before we can split up. I expect that when that happens, she will let me know that she doesn't plan on us being together.

Until that happens (or I decide I can't hang around anymore), I will make sure that my daughter is happy.

I'm sorry things haven't improved, but if it makes you feel any better your WW is truly following the script. The "open marriage" comment is not surprising; plenty of WS drop hints about this and some even ask for it openly ("couldn't we just live together like we are now and still see other people?")

If she is dropping bombs like this, there's no way she isn't still seeing her OM. I sure wish you could go to a real Plan B.
Mulan

Well I know she is still seeing the OM, she works with him. She claims no contact at work, but I'm starting to wonder. What I know is that she isn't seeing or contacting him outside of work. She is leaving earlier this year from work and that most times when I've snooped, they have never walked out of the school at the same time. So it doesn't look like they are talking at the end of the day. I know that he is still living with his girlfriend and that she has full knowledge of what went on between him and my wife, even if she refuses to believe all of it. So I think she is keeping an eye on him also.

I think there is a good chance that my wife still has feelings for the OM, but I'm not even sure of that. She claims she resents him also, although right now she seems to resent me more.

She was just diagnosed with adult ADHD, or something like that (ADD). She's going on some meds to "help" her focus. I think she is blaming the fog on being ADD.

I can't do a normal plan b, partly because of the legal issue, SH's advice against it and also I don't think I want to right now. If we separate, I believe that we will have no chance to recover. As long as we're together there is a slight chance that we might work through this. Obviously that chance is slowing fading away, but there is days when we revert back to our old selves and enjoy each other's company.

How are you doing?? We spend so much time discussing my situation that I forget to ask how you are doing. I'm sorry for that. I know you are going through a tough time as well.

I was wondering, does anyone else have days where they feel anxious? My stomach/chest feels "jittery" and I seem to be more emotional than normal.

Grove, more than a few of us have full-blown panic attacks and PTSD from this stuff. It comes from having everything you thought was normal and stable just suddenly vanish. It comes from realizing that you can count on nothing anymore and that your WS will simply change the rules to suit themselves and tell you to go to ****** if you don't like it.

That's why many here are on antidepressants (though I am not.)

If you are having trouble functioning, get to your family doctor, explain what is happening and see what they recommend. I was offered ADs but declined. I use something called Kava to get me over the worst times, but Kava is not for everyone - if you drink alcohol or are a female of childbearing age, you probably should not use it.

Again - get to your family doctor and see if they can help. It's very, very common for the BS to have severe anxiety and panic attacks and even PTSD.
Mulan

I've tried four different types of antidepressants, they seemed to just make me feel worse. I feel better without them, but who knows, maybe I just didn't find the right ones.

I thought about setting up another appointment with SH, but honestly I don't see the point. Plus, I just don't have another 185 dollars.

My wife and I are stuck at home tonight without our daughter. It's strange to be alone with her. I went to her school today to snoop. I watched the OM get into his car and leave. My wife left 15 minutes later. So it doesn't look like they are talking, but who knows??