Okay, I feel like a fool. On my previous post I expressed how things were getting better between me and my H......so anyway NOW things have gone downhill at lightning speed. My H has finally decided to go to MC. THANK GOD! However the reason behind it breaks my heart. He has been seeing another woman. He swears it's strictly conversation nothing more. Although it's hard to believe him when I caught him via the cell phone bill. He had kept the whole thing secret he said for fear that I wouldn't understand. I notice several incoming calls from a strange number with hourly conversations. I mean 3-4 HOURS LONG! So, I called the number before I confronted him. I left a very polite message to the other woman. Just told her I was the W and I wanted her to call me back to justify why she felt the need to have long coversations with a married man. Anyway, now things are so rough between me and my H. He's very distant whereas a week ago he couldn't keep his hand off me. I'm now having panic attacks, which I've never experienced before, and when we do talk it's very strange conversation. The things that stands out most of our most recent coversation is that he asked me "What if I walk away from you and realize you were the love of my life? But, on the other hand, what if I stay and the other woman was the girl of my dreams? How do you know when you're truely in love?" My heart fell to my feet! I'm so devistated right now, and I'm having to hide a lot of emotion from family and friends; especially our six year old son.

I've never been to any sort of counseling so I don't know what to expect. Does counseling usually work? HELP

Arowan,

Yes by all means IC helps! Get yourself some help, if not for yourself do it for your son. He will begin to feel all of this too and will need to see that his mother will always be there for him. All of this emotion and hurt will be with you forever but it will be less and less painful as time passes. Think about your son and his life if you were not a part of it in the future. Think about all the things you would miss in his life that you have dreamt about since he was born.

Use this site to do your venting and get your support here, it will get better. All of this is fresh and shockng right now so try and focus on parenting as much as you can. Be glad that your H has started down the road toward recovery by going to MC. Not all WS's do. Stay strong your son needs you, he should be the rock you hang on to during this storm.

MC does not work if WS is still seeing or contacting their OP in any way. It will be either a complete waste of time and money or it will turn into mediation for your divorce.

WH must do the complete and eternal NC program described on here - including NC letter.

Then you can both see an MC with hope of results.

Make sure it's a pro marriage MC. Many are not.

The MB counseling number is on the main page.

With prayers,

Do IC until your WH comes around. You can start with MB phone coaching/counseling as suggested above, I recommend it highly.