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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 396
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 396 |
Read something that sparked a concern on a different thread. FWW has had NC since early July. She gave a few BJs that were unprotected and had sex once with a condom. Since then we have had sex MANY times.
1st question: Is it worth getting tested after so long?
I told her that I wanted her to get tested and she got seriously ticked off and offended because she thought that we were past this. She also said that she would get tested next week when she goes to the doctor if that's what I wanted. I told her "yes".
2nd question: How should I deal with her anger and resentment towards me now?
Hopeful4future
The character of a person is defined by their actions...not their intentions. Otherwise, the world would be full of Saints.
BS: 40 (Me)
xFWW: 50
Married: 9/97
PA: 3 months
D-Day: 6/30/2005 (she revealed to me)
Divorced: 10/2/2008
Happy that I've moved on
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 4,554
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 4,554 |
1st question: Is it worth getting tested after so long? Yes. How long does she think it take for an HIV infection to be noticed? 2nd question: How should I deal with her anger and resentment towards me now? Make sure that she knows that you're not doing this out of revenge, but simply to know if an infection has occured, so you both can act and plan accordingly.
ManInMotion
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(see "MiM's Story" for more details)
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088 |
Oral sex can transmit a host of STDs. But the ones that are bacterial would have created one heck of a sore throat and she would have needed antibiotics to clear it up. She would have known is she had caught something.
The viral ones, well they linger and not much you can do about them. HPV is the most common and it tranmits easily from mouth to other areas. A pap smear and the new HPV test is the best way to detect the virus. The HPV virus causes genital warts.
Herpes, 5 days usually to detect it. If you haven't seen it yet, you probably won't.
HIV, not as easy to pass, but possible. Need to wait 3-6 months for a good test.
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