I am such an idiot...not sure to as why was online talking to women and now .my marriage is in trouble.
my wife has consulted a therapist who suggests that I have a problem and separation for 30-60 days is the only way to resolve..all that I have read states the contrary.
we both do love each other.I want to fix this.!!
i need help.......

Disconnect the internet...

give her total access to ALL email accounts

do not use the internet

have you done this......

exactly what does talking to women mean...........

cannot do that,as internet is at work....
but have given her accsess to all....
conversations with other married woman that got out of hand.
met one for coffee...
I was wrong i know that,but i did it.
i crossed the line that should never have been crossed..

What else have you done up till now? Porn? Phone sex?
This didn't come out of nowhere...

does you job know you use their resources to entertain yourself.........

any children..

if you have children do not for one nano second agree to seprerate
do not leave the home...

have you sought out marriage counseling for you both together...

marriage workshops
have you called the counsel available on this site.......
if your wife will talk to them here you will have a great chance of avoiding a lot of pitfalls.........

have you contacted your minister or priest to assist with counsel...

ark

no porn at all.no phone sex.........my wife was the other women long ago.....with the power of the internet,it is so easy.......
but i can say.i do not miss it nor do i need it...
i have done it b4........
i truly am in love with her..and she me.
we have even made love the past 2 noghts........
but this therapist tells her for me to go away for 30-60 days
or we will never work....
i have read all of the articles ands bought 2 books from the site........
we have no children togehter......
i do not feel leaving for a period of time would do anything but harm our future....

what do you mean she was the other woman are you two together from an affair....
or
that she had an affair on you....
ark

we are together from an affair that i had.....5 years ago...
i was in a very bad marriage and we started out as friends........
we are together now

She's probably very worried about what happened five years ago.

Be fair warned for some posters to not respond so kindly to that...

here's the issue...at some point in your life you yourself decide regardless and inspite of those around you...
that YOUR marriage holds great meaning and value....in life...
and then you act accordingly...from there...

so then if you are at that point to really take perhaps your first real stand on valueing a marriage....

then you my friend must be prepared to fight the good fight and say NO to seperation

inspite of your actions
inspite of your guilt and inspite of what some flighty counsellor says about married people splitting up........

you stand your ground.
you do not leave
and if she does then you deal with it....but you do not support or condone it.....

married people do not and should not turn away from eachother when the going gets rough...but that is your and hers pattern of handling things in the past.........

have you sought marriage counseling for her and you...

ark

I have no doubt in my mid she is....
when confronted with it i lied about it.....
but since owned up to it..
i have cut off all ties to it all...........
i truly love what we have and i broke it,so i am the only one that can fix it......yet i am powerless.....

I am wrong,and i do not expect anyone to sugarcoat any of this......
I have a problem with myself.........she did not do anything wrong.....I did.........
I do not want to leave at all.....and i agree about the thrapists that snap judge......
90% of what i have read says stay,.....support it together.......
I have sought counseling for me at the moment and it will be 10 days b4 i can get in........
but what i can see of him.......he is not the right thing........
but i will go........

It sounds like you two are riding on the karma bus right now. I've been on it too before. Not trying to be mean.

no trust me.......I almost need someone to kick my butt...........
the karma bus......
we always do talk about bad and good karma....

Well, you're facing a difficult situation, no mistaking that. She doesn't trust you...for some very compelling reasons. You've already demonstrated that you're willing and capable of lying and cheating to someone you 'love'.

And you've now demonstrated your willingness to do something similar to her as well, by chatting with some OTHER woman online.

IF your marriage is to stand a chance, I'm of the opinion you're going to have to take some EXTREME measures to rebuild your wife's trust in you. Quit your job and pursue a career where you're not CAPABLE of carrying on in such a manner, as well as all of the other suggested actions.

The ONLY way I can imagine trusting someone in your situation again would be if they did something along these lines to reassure me...and bluntly, I'm not convinced that trust ever could be regained (at least by myself...other people may be able to do so).

If you really do regret what you've done, and are sincere in wanting to rebuild your marriage, you're going to have to take some seriously radical and extreme measures to prove your trustworthiness. Based off of what you've described about the beginnings of your R with your current wife, as well as what's happened....realize I mean EXTREME measures to prove your love, devotion, and trustworthiness.

Just my thoughts.