Yesterday was WW's birthday (50). We had planned to go to dinner. We are seperated but communicating every other day. I got off work at 2:00 and came home anxious as heck and cleaned up for "date". I was ready to go at 3:15 and she was supposed to come over at 4:00 and we'd go from here. It got to be 4:10and i called her cell to see if I had the plans straight. She was at the bar havibg a birthday drink with "the girls". She said she was leaving and on her way. Well I of course got mad but kept it to myself. I didn't want to LB on her birthday. She came over and didn't seem as though she had been at the bar for more than 1 drink. Would have been nice to get a call though saying she was gonna be late. Well we went to dinner and had some nice small talk conversations. Stopped for a drink on the way home. Came back here to the house and I took a couple pictures of her with our pumpkins and I gave her a birthday present. More nice small talk. Hugging and kissing. We then made love. I didn't want her to leave. Now for the questions. She was inconsiderate yes by not calling but what do I make from this? She having a hard time with all this as I am and need a drink? May very well been a simple girls drink after work.? Would a WS meet OP and then see BS for dinner and love making? Could happen I suppose as I imagine it did before D-Day. Your thoughts please. I really didn't want to ruin a small birthday celebration by asking her a bunch of questions and further upsetting myself and her too.

Don’t read more into this than you need. Remember that this was her day. Maybe the “girls” (at what age do they stop being girls?) surprised her or she been running late all day due to phone calls and so on. Sure she should have phoned. I don’t know your story or your wife but I seriously doubt she would see OM and then have this evening with you. Mind you – it would be far from the craziest thing I have read here.

I know the suspicion that gnaws away at you. I also know that although very often there are good grounds for the suspicions sometimes the feelings get too intense and turn from being “normal” and “healthy” suspicion to paranoia. It takes a lot of work to get out of this mindset and can be very disturbing to reconciliation.

jasper, i just saw this new thread. i'm glad you two had a nice evening.

what do YOU want to have happen next?

do you have a plan?

Thanks for the reply "Finally". I ll\ook forward to them!. What do I want to happen next? HUMMMMMM I have opened the door to our home for her. She seems open to the idea. I feel helpless though with this 1 yr lease hanging in the balance. Subletting is an option and i've told her i would help with this anyway I could. Her decision now where to go woth this. She is moving into apartment this weekend and thank God she did not ask me to help. I would have had to turn her down. And that would have been hard too. But I think she understands that. Even going to her apartment at some point will be hard. We were riding by it last weekend and she showed me where it was. What I really want to happen next is and this may be a long time coming is.........some showing of remorse/a heartfelt I'm sorry for doing this to you and a truthful explanation of A and events surrounding A. Am I asking to much? As for a plan...I'm being distant this weekend as she moves to apartment and she mentioned she's babysitting yougest granddaughter most of the day Sat then Sat night has some retirement party to go to with her sister. My plan is simple right now. No love busters and I'll continue to show and tell her my feelings. All relationship discussions have been initiated by me so far and long for the day she opens up to me. I believe this will happen but in the meantime I need to take care of me. I think...well...I know I am depressed and started AD's and they take awhile to work but they will help. When I can feeel the affects is when plans may fall better into place. One reply I had mentioned paranoia and yes I'm thinking too hard about some things the wrong way I know. Mean while one day at a time and tale care of myself.