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3 weeks today since WH moved out. Here's what WH is missing out on so far with DS:
1 - DS has his first loose tooth!! It's not out yet and I don't think that DS has told WH about it.
2 - DS is reading TO ME for night-time stories now. Last night was so special and sweet. DS sat in the bed, so proud of himself!!!! DS would read a page and then show me the picture. Some nights I read a book and he reads a book.
3 - DS played his first game of Twister!
4 - DS selected for a special class at school called Creativity Capers -
5 - DS attended his first school Fall Festival.
WH - CLUELESS.
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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It is soemthing they do to themselves and their children. I am glad your DS is doing so well -shows what a great Mom you are. He is missing out on so much. I hope you are doing well.
married 21
Together 26 -
OW 2yrs, he worked with her and found secret e-mail account.The first cut is the deepest.
just found out H is a serial cheater - total cut to pieces now- saw a D lawyer today.
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((((Kim and son)))) Trust me, I know how much this stinks. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" />
Me-41 BS (FWS) DH-41 WS (FBS) 2DD's- 10 and 12 Married 15 years Separated for 2 years after my A Reconciled for 1 year before his A D-day for his A 8/23/05 WH moved out 9/16/05 Divorce final 1/23/07 Affair ended or month or so later My Story
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Thanks Realtor - You know how it goes...good days & bad days.
I try hard to make sure I take care of DS as best I can!
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Hi Jean - thanks for you hugs and thoughts!! Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Hang in there, Kim. I know how you feel.
See you Sunday!
(Formerly SadMommy05)
BS, 29 (me)
XH, 27
DD, 1
M, 2001 high school sweethearts
OW, 36, divorcee, "we have a friendship people can't understand"
WH left out of the blue 9/5/2005
I filed 11/1/2005 D finalized 6/20/06 
XH and OW married 1/6/07. Ugh!
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Hi Kimberly, I know exactly what you mean. My DS10 went to his first "social" tonight. WH is "away" and doesn't even know it is taking place. He missed out on teaching him to fish and seeing the excitement he had when he caught his first fish. I told DS about the birds and the bees. WH missed his birthday party this year because he "had plans" for that night. Halloween is Monday. Last year he went trick or treating with DS, his 3 good friends, and their dads. This year he will be AWOL. It saddened me today to think of this and was wondering if I should point it out to him. I just cannot wrap my mind around this stuff. Is he even aware? And if he is, does it bother him? If I think about it too much I really start getting mad. If I ever knew he would consider divorce an option, I never would have married him, nevermind had children with him. I just can't believe he has turned into a PT parent. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
Me/BS 48
Married 16 yrs/together 23; 1 child
Dday 4/05; WH "needed space" and left 5/05
WH Filed D papers 6/05 - Divorce final 12/05
WH moved in with OW 11/05; moved out OW 1/06
12/06 His 3rd and strongest attempt at reconcilliation (I believe OW still in picture)
2/07 Affair over, begging me to take him back - it's too late.
WH has tried numerous times to reconcile.
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It really is sad what the WS misses out on. Yep, life does go on without them. As the WS selfishly takes care of their needs things do not stand still.
It is hard to comprehend.
Sending warm thoughts your way!
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Hi Kim, I could list a lot of things my WH is missing too but you know what? It's his loss.Not only does he live in another country but he is off for some "business" convention in Japan of all places. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Whatever. I am SOAKING up all the love and snuggles and laughter I can being home with my 2 girls.I feel so incredibly blessed to be here with them and taking care of them.I feel my heart swell just having the opportunity.That is what I focus on.In the beginning it made me very sad that the girls couldn't share in all things with their Dad but I have no control over that( serenity prayer comes to mind!) so I do whatever I can to make the girls lives as happy and secure as I can. WS's do miss out on so much and it can never be replaced so I feel sad for them.Children grow up and do remember who was there for them and who they had a happy life with and as adults,they will appreciate that most.What's important is knowing you did your best and you did right by them. Sounds like your son has made some "milestones". Good for him! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> O
BW(me)40
DDay 10/11/03
Divorcing
'The Reformer'- enneagram type 1
~Let Higher Minds Prevail~
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~Life isn't complicated,we make it that way~
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At least your WH has some contact. My WH didn't even call his daughter on her birthday. Then, he snuck up to the house and put her present on the front porch without even ringing the doorbell. Talk about a coward.
I think we need to squirrel away these wonderful moments: the first tooth, the graduation, the Halloween costume, Christmas. We'll have all of these memories but there won't be a trace of the WS in them, except the faint smell of something rotten. It's their loss and our kids' loss. We get to do damage control.
Grapes are versatile. Grapes can be sour, sweet, sublime as wine and fabulous even when old and dried out.
Me: BS
XCH: Clueless
2-DS: Bigger than me
1-DD: Now also bigger than me!
5/6: Personally served CH with divorce papers
6/6: CH F? wants to time to see if M can be saved
7/6: FCH reenters our lives to work on marriage but secretly signs papers to start divorce...what's that about?
Mediation set for November
Final dissolution in January 2007.
2008 and beyond: Life goes on...
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My WH didn't even call his daughter on her birthday. Then, he snuck up to the house and put her present on the front porch without even ringing the doorbell. Talk about a coward. Ugh.Sorry grapegirl.That is the act of a coward and a very mixed up man. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> I hope your DD had a fun B-day anyway. O Sorry for the minor TJ Kim.
BW(me)40
DDay 10/11/03
Divorcing
'The Reformer'- enneagram type 1
~Let Higher Minds Prevail~
---------------
~Life isn't complicated,we make it that way~
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More TJ, Yes, O, we tried to make it as nice as we could. She had a friend sleep over, we went to a movie, ate pizza and had an ice cream cake. DD actually called her dad and confronted him. What 12 year old doesn't want to be a daddy's girl? She asked me to meet with him and that broke my Plan B. It was good though because it reinforced just what a jack a$$ he has become. I'm back to Plan B.
These WS just don't realize what they are doing to their kids. WH thinks DD's anger is my doing. Just doesn't get that his actions speak so loudly.
Grapes are versatile. Grapes can be sour, sweet, sublime as wine and fabulous even when old and dried out.
Me: BS
XCH: Clueless
2-DS: Bigger than me
1-DD: Now also bigger than me!
5/6: Personally served CH with divorce papers
6/6: CH F? wants to time to see if M can be saved
7/6: FCH reenters our lives to work on marriage but secretly signs papers to start divorce...what's that about?
Mediation set for November
Final dissolution in January 2007.
2008 and beyond: Life goes on...
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Posts: 2,200
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WS's do miss out on so much and it can never be replaced so I feel sad for them.Children grow up and do remember who was there for them and who they had a happy life with and as adults,they will appreciate that most.What's important is knowing you did your best and you did right by them. Yep. So true. Last night was night date night for DS & Me. I let him rent a movie and we built a fire, cooked hot dogs in the fireplace, etc. It was so fun & I was at peace for the moment with what is going on that I can't control. At the moment I thought, I can do this! Having WH here is actually GREAT. But, today I miss him. At least your WH has some contact. My WH didn't even call his daughter on her birthday. Then, he snuck up to the house and put her present on the front porch without even ringing the doorbell. Talk about a coward.
These WS just don't realize what they are doing to their kids. WH thinks DD's anger is my doing. Just doesn't get that his actions speak so loudly. Totally cowardly. I feel so bad for your daughter. Making the most of what is going on here seems to be key.....I have yet to tell DS the TRUTH about his Dad. DS knows that Mommy and Daddy are having problems & that while this is happening it is best for Daddy to not stay here right now. I know DS deserves to know a bit more truth than that, at least so he knows that Mommy didn't make Daddy move ---- something Daddy did made it unacceptable for him to stay here. I just have to figure out the best time/way. DS said that he wished Daddy was here last night to join in on our fun. I told him "Yeah, me too. You can tell Daddy that when you see him next. Tell him that we miss him." Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Posts: 124
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Im lucky my daughter is doing so well with all of this. Tho there has been times where it has been so hard. She is my rock, puts her arm around me and says "you have me daddy". Makes me cry. But there are other times where im short with her. She looks so much like her mother, I have to watch myself that I dont take something out on her. Took her to Disney on Ice lastnight, wife went out to bars. Wife is parent of the year!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
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