Ok, to answer the question in the title of your thread: because to submit is to be controlled. Let us look at definitions:
submit
One entry found for submit.
Main Entry: sub·mit
Pronunciation: s&b-'mit
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): sub·mit·ted; sub·mit·ting
Etymology: Middle English submitten, from Latin submittere to lower, submit, from sub- + mittere to send
intransitive senses
1 a :
to yield oneself to the authority or will of
another : SURRENDER b : to permit oneself to be subjected to something <had to submit to surgery>
2 :
to defer to or consent to abide by the opinion or authority of anothercontrol
19 entries found for control. The first 10 are listed below.
To select an entry, click on it. For more results, click here.
control[1,transitive verb]control[2,noun]animal controlball controlbiological controlbirth controlcontrol surfacecruise controlfire controlgun control
Main Entry: 1con·trol
Pronunciation: k&n-'trOl
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): con·trolled; con·trol·ling
Etymology: Middle English controllen, from Middle French contreroller, from contrerolle copy of an account, audit, from Medieval Latin contrarotulus, from Latin contra- + Medieval Latin rotulus roll -- more at ROLL
1 a archaic : to check, test, or verify by evidence or experiments b : to incorporate suitable controls in <a controlled experiment>
2 a :
to exercise restraining or directing influence over : REGULATE b : to have power over : RULE c : to reduce the incidence or severity of especially to innocuous levels <control an insect population> <control a disease>
Obviously, if you have authority to have her do what you want her to do, you have control (see definition) over her. If she agrees with your opinion/position and goes along with it, that isn't submitting, that's...wait for it...AGREEMENT. If she's submitting it is that she disagrees and is giving you authority over her. Your opinion/position is then
controlling her life. Duh.
If you are saying, "Oh, no, submission means..." and white-washing it with your own definitions, that doesn't change the nature of the situation. It is more like saying, "Oh, no...pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!"
(All definitions courtesy of Merriam-Webster online dictionary.)
I have found that the things I thought she would know about being a wife she does not know.
Maybe your definition of the role of "wife" differs from hers. What makes you inherently presuppose that your definition is superior? What makes you think you have the right to force/impose your definition upon her?
But there is a catch we are not married yet so she does not have to be submissive to me yet.
Why would she ever have to be submissive to you? This whole wanting her to submit to you concerns me deeply, to tell you the truth. I think you need therapy...because you
do sound as if you have control issues.
That is something I am learning to deal with, but am I wrong for wanting her to be submissive now verses waiting
until we get married?
I think you are wrong for wanting her to be submissive - period. She's a human being. Why don't you try being submissive to her for about 6 months and then tell me what you've learned about how it makes you feel as a human being? Is it respectful of her thoughts, feelings, and opinions to want her to defer to yours? If you do not respect her thoughts, feelings, and opinions, do you truly love her?
You should be asking yourself a lot of hard questions. This post says far more about you than it does about her...and what it says is not flattering, either.
I feel you should act like your married before you get married, but what do I know!!
Ummmm...how is being submissive acting like you are married? That's more like acting as if you are owned. Marriage does not require submissiveness on the part of
either partner. It is a union of two people, not the aquisition of a woman by a man.
I think you have real issues. Bottom line is: if you want a submissive wife, and she does not wish to be submissive, THIS IS THE WRONG WOMAN FOR YOU. She made a wise decision, as did you.
Personally, I think you are, at least now, the wrong man for any woman. It takes far more courage, patience, and love to respect someone as an equal than it does to try to subjugate him/her.