Alright rough draft -but its a start

Dear WH,

All of these years we have shared my love for you has been endless. The wonderful mdmories of our times shared together are precious to me. Watching the boys grow and the fun times we have had, the move to our new state, building of our dream home for our retirement years all mean the world to me. The romantic times are all so special to me. All of the hugs and kisses we have shared over all these years are so many countless. I hold these thoughts and memories deep in my heart.
It saddens me to have to make this decision. I am leaving with a heavy heart. But must tell you I can no longer be a part of this R until you have given up this A. I must hold onto any love I have for you and can not do this sitting by you while you continue contact with this OW. Your decision to bring another W into your life has hurt our M and we stand on shaky ground. I must take care of myself now.
There are few things I ask of you. I ask for no contact with me, no phone calls, no e-mails, if you must tell me something please contact my OS. He will relay your messages. I do not want any contact with you while you are in this A. If you decide to work on our M then I will return but all contact must be broken and final. I want to work on our M and make it a stronger union. I would like for us to go to MC. Please understand this is the most dificult decision I have ever had to make. I take my love for you with me.

Love as always
Me

please let me know if this is Ok or did I miss soemthing. Should I add some of our special times together for him to think about?

Realtor,

I am no expert here and my planb letter was edited by Ark who is wonderful with them.

But IMHO I like yours. It is short as WS's have a short attention span anyhow. And it says what you need it to say....

I hope someone with more experience chimes in for you soon...


Take Care

Hurting

Thank you -you have no idea how afraid I am right now. He has been out on strike these last 3 weeks and with him having no work cell phone he has changed so much. I had forgotton how wonderful he used to be. It is so scary to know he is going back to work this Thursday and what changes could happen. I'm feeling the love I used to have return and it is so nice to be happy again. The hugs and kisses are so warm and real. He said he is 110% back. I see it and it is wonderful. If he goes back to work and contact resumes it will be crushing. This is the real H I married now and it is wonderful. I feel alive again. He has done the work needed to be completed on our home and it looks wonderful. Says he wants me to be happy. I have been giving him so many ILY's and joking and laughing again. I know he is happier within himself.

Realtor,
I don't have the wisdom of many on this site, but my gut feeling is that you are pulling the trigger on Plan B way too early.
You said"I feel alive again. He has done the work needed to be completed on our home and it looks wonderful. Says he wants me to be happy. I have been giving him so many ILY's and joking and laughing again. I know he is happier within himself."
Why then, are you so willing to go to Plan B when you have'nt completed Plan A?
Did I miss something? You mentioned another contact. Was it planned? Was it one on one, or a business lunch. Could I have have missed something?
My FWW, IMHO, went out of her way to have casual contact with her lover, but I think she allowed it to "test" her feelings. Does that make any sence. All of this occurred before D_Day, so I don't really know.
IMHO, you are not ready for Plan B, but you seem to be planning it out before it becomes neccesary. Am I totally wrong?
How about sticking to Plan A a while longer, and keeping Plan B in reserve for now.
Personally, I couldn't do a Plan B; I would, if contact resumed, go directly to Plan D. That is just my own character fault.
I do wish you blessings and peace,
Jerry

Jerry - this has gone on to long with 2 false recovery's. I went thro his work stuff here at house a little while ago and found her home # in his contact list. So I believe when he goes back to work contact will begin again.

Realtor -

Only you know when you are ready for Plan B. You know what your limits are. I think you are right to be prepared for what might happen when your H goes back to work. If this is your boundary then it is your choice & it will be the right one for you. It seems like you have been at Plan A for a while.....

Sounds like you have had a good period with your H. If contact does happen again & you go into Plan B, he will have these most wonderful memories to think about.

You might want to end the letter with a positve paragraph - "I believe in our M. and elaborate on what you would like to do in the future with him...

"I want to be your wife & best friend. I want to spend holidays, birthdays and everday with you......I believe we can do this and stop hurting each other...."

Kim

Realtor,
This is a very BIG assumption on your part. A good part of recovery is believing that your FWS is REPENTANT. Has your WH ever expressed that to you?
I know all about broken trust, but in 3 and 1/2 years of recovery, it is all about how much your FWS puts into that effort. If he/she puts forth nothing, than trust will be exactly that== nothing.
I know from first hand experience, that nothing ventured from WS will equal nothing gained by BS. Sounds a little cold and calculating, but there it is.
I think(and most think nothing of what I think), that unless and untill the WS puts entire effort into recovery of BS, little or nothing will happen in terms of true recovery.
The old numbers you have found may be exactly that, OLD NUMBERS. Doesn't give any revalence(sp) to what is happening today!
I know you fustrations in a way. After all this time(31/2 years) I am still checking caller ID and cell phone. Ahhh!
It's sort of a sick way implanted in our lives that we never expected. I often, feel like a very sick person. How can I possibly change that?
I think the answer rests with God or whatever you believe Him to be. His peace is just and inch away, if you can come to beleive that.
All Blessings,
Jerry

He had said he did not have her home # -because he would NEVER call her home -supposedly her H is retired.. Who knows. He has a small business on side. I asked him to show me his watch with his phone #'s in it he avoided that big time. So I will ask again. I am just preparing myslef incase B is needed.

my WH took OW's # off his personal cell. But NEVER took it off his work cell. Even though he was no longer her superivsor he left it on. Bad Sign.

If he won't show you the #'s on his watch, I don't think that's good.

Kim