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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 12
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 12 |
I just don't see why the OMW would mention the fact that I called to OM, WITHOUT calling me... she has my cell phone number. It doesn't make sense. She may change her mind about talking to me, but I'm not holding my breath.
TT
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
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Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
Translation services:
"So I am going to be cheerful from now on."
So I'm going to be phoney and fake from now on.
No more laying on the massive guilt trip on W.
No more being honest about how scummy my wife's affair is.
Who wants to be around someone like that?
I will train my wife to disrespect me without limits.
No more Mr Miserable.
Allow my wife's Taker to put me under her foot.
It's a downer on everyone else, and I am not a miserable person.
Let's all pretend she is acting in a decent manner.
It's going to be really difficult, but I am going to make sure my children have a happy home, a Dad who cares for them and looks after them, and I will be cheerful and pleasant to W, even if it kills me.
I will sacrifice until I build resentments.
I will treat myself to some new clothes and wear a little gel in my hair.
I will honor myself by looking and smelling good <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
The house will be tidy, and the car clean.
Life will go on.
I don't know if this is too soon, or if I'll be able to keep it up, but at least it's a healthy aspiration.
Here's my advice kiddo:
Do all the good things for your family but stop pretending your wife is not committing adultery.
Be healthy ~and~ honest at the same time ~~~> because pretending is NOT healthy and will KILL your love for her
I DO know that the longer I stay dejected, the harder it will be to lift myself, and the more people will desert me.
Picking up your mood is a good goal ... pretending your wife is not unfaithful is NOT a good thing. Be certain you are not doing the conflict-avoiding I fear you are planning.
Wish me luck.
buena suerte
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 3,380
Member
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Member
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 3,380 |
Because the OMW may very well not know a thing about what is going on.You could be some office co-worker calling,etc.Also,some BS's look the other way,are in denial,choose not to do anything with the knowledge they have,all sorts of scenarios.
But what you need to ascertain is,IF she knows,and WHAT is her response to it? If she knows and doesn't care or is in denial,fine, you have done your job and can focus on the plan.But that key issue,whether or not she KNOWS is an important part of this process.
Unless you left a message saying, "Hi,your H is having an A with my wife.Call me", then you should assume that all the information isn't out there.
O
BW(me)40
DDay 10/11/03
Divorcing
'The Reformer'- enneagram type 1
~Let Higher Minds Prevail~
---------------
~Life isn't complicated,we make it that way~
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