Hi everyone,
W and I just went to trial to divvy up our assets. Didn't go well for her and she has been bitter for over a year.
We've been to family court and I have a decree that spells out custody (to her) and visitation to me.
Because of my current living situation, it is not possible to have overnights with my kids. There are some stipulations I must attend to as well.
However, I do take them one day on the weekend for the day, plus see them at least once a week during the week. These visits have been spotty at best because my W is angry with this whole divorce, even though she wanted it. She has said many times she will not be inconvenienced for me or my family and has denied the kids routinely.
I will be taking her back to family court now that the Supreme court issues are over with. In the meantime, W has spread many lies concerning support and visitation. Even though I pay all the bills and have been for over a year, she tells everyone around her that I don't. Then, she denies visitation and tells everyone that I don't want to see them. She also tells me my son is not playing soccer because he is sick, then has her brother take him to make me look like an absentee father.
My son has autism so he cannot express his feelings to me and just tell me. My middle daughter is the only that can communicate so her feelings really bear the brunt of all of this.
Can anyone tell me how she is keeping her home without even having a job herself?
Anyway... here's my question.
My daughter has dance on Friday nights which I pay for and attend after work. Now that the trial is over and she's a sore loser, she is taking her out of dance claiming she has no money, even after I offered to pay the additional expense. She just wants to stop me from seeing her on Friday night and my poor daughter has to suffer for it.
Last Friday, I met a friend of my W at the dance (her daughter dances also). This woman told me my daughter wasn't coming and that I should have expected that since I don't pay support. We spent 30 minutes hashing out the truth and now she is seeing the lies my W has been telling.
I want to enroll my daughter in dance, pay for it and ask my W to continue taking her. I can't take her because I am still at work and she would never let me anyway. If she disagrees, I want to allow this friend of hers to take our daughter and "threaten" her with that. She will then need to answer to this friend about why our daughter can't go to dance. This friend is very forward and does not agree with these games so I know she would straighten my W out about it. My W will then start to avoid this friend in fear of facing the truth. Either that, or she will need to think of our kids, first.
In any event, it's been over a year and I'm tired of all the lies while everyone thinks I'm the villain. I wouldn't care if I at least had my kids, but she is clearly using them to gain credibility for herself. Even though I realize that will eventually erode because the truth always prevails.
To bolster her lies, she is trying to encourage me not to see them. That way she can validate her claims. Not happening.
I know this will cause some grief, but I've been waiting patiently for over a year to begin my life with my kids again. I have yet to spend one holiday with them since Easter 2004, even though it's written in the decree.
My kids are young, 8, 6 and 18 months so it's important I be there for them. I am preparing to move back closer to them so my W will have to deal with me like it or not.
For those who don't know my story, I've been dragged through every court imagineable so the system really knows our family. It's just a matter of filing the violation, but in the meantime, W has made it clear she will keep fighting.
