As if the pain of infidelity in and of itself isn't enough, I was absolutely terrified of STDs when I found out that my spouse had sexual relations with someone else. So came the feelings of betrayal that my spouse would also risk my life, my health, my comfort, my ability to have children, and who knows what else ... were he to contract an STD and pass it on to me. And depending on the STD, perhaps even to our children! Risking my, or our, very lives -- all of us! Or at the very least, giving us something that would be recurrent for the rest of our lives.

Even with condoms, there is no guarantee ... there is just too much out there. And if the spouse would cheat ... it's quite conceivable that the OW/OM would as well. Perhaps they are even cheating on each other?! Or one of their spouses is cheating on them too and so busy cheating themselves ... are oblivious to that fact. Let's face it, there is no protection from contracting STDs, there are only ways of reducing the chances of contracting them. I, for one, don't want to bet my life on that!

I guess my message here is this: Think carefully about that should one consider straying from your monogamous marriage because if you contract something, it is very likely to be passed on to your spouse as well ... especially if you are hiding your affair or your ONS sexual activity(ies), whatever the case may be. Once is all it takes.

Luckily, this was not the case with my spouse and we tested STD free. However, three times in a succession of six months, we were both tested for each any every possible disease, disorder, or condition that could have been sexually transmitted -- even remotely! Obviously, our doctor & our insurance company needed justification for performing all of these tests, since we were "supposedly" a monogomously married couple; hence, the truth was told. And this infidelity was "owned up" and the truth was told by the spouse that broke the vows! As it should be! After all, that spouse chose to risk the life of his own children and especially that of his married partner.

Just something to keep in mind. If a partner has had sex outside the marriage without your knowledge and you then had sexual relations with your own spouse, there's a very good chance you have been exposed. Please get tested and insist your spouse get tested as well, and take responsibility for it!

Infidelity being the ultimate betrayal, I'd say the possibility of contracting an STD due to a spouse's cheating is also the ultimate betrayal, maybe even moreso!