I just new it was gonna be rough week last week. but I made it thru it. God knows how! Had a dinner date for WW's b-day and she was late getting here for she was at the bar. I didn't love bust at all and avoided conflict b/c it was her b-day. A few drinks with the girls is ok but of course the thoughts running through my mind were different i.e. OM. Dinner turned out rather well I should add. Well we didn't talk Friday. You see wev'e been seperated since 8-13-05. She rented an apartment and was going to be moving the weekend. I called her Sat afternoon for she was babysitting granddaughter to see how that was going. After some casual conversation she aked me if I'd like to see apartment Sat nite. Now this was a TOUGH one. but I said I had plans and would call her if I got home early enough. Well I did and she invited me over. I went and it was a gut wrenching experience. (just what I need). I guess I was there for a couple hrs and helped out with a few things. She then called me Sunday afternoon and invited me over again. I went over for about 1.5 hrs. Not as tough as the night before but bad enough. I even took her over a new coffe maker. Wrapped and everything. I know I overanalize everything and at this point am trying to read her thoughts by her actions. Inviting me over to her new apartment the first 2 nites she's there must be a good thing. I'm not following plan A to the letter but modified it to out situation. And it seems to be working....for now. I rear somewhere on here that plan A should last 6 months for a guy and 3 for a gal. But are these numbers for the BS or WS? By the way the AD's must be kicking in as I had a pretty good day at work today as opposed to my total meltdown on Friday last week. oops what a minute roller coasters going back down again.........lol Thoughts?

Jasper,

I am not hip to your whole sitch, sorry.

Plan A is for the BS to show the WS that the BS is the best choice and to woo the WS back from the OP.

The WS has no plan A...just an A.

""I'm not following plan A to the letter but modified it to out situation.""

Plan A is a Plan A!! I don't understand how you can modify that. Please explain.

It is unfortunate she has moved out and got her own place. It is fortunate that she invited YOU over the first two nights. Is there an OM in the picture?

Keep plan Aing!

k

Been a few updates. My step daughter in law brought 6 month old over dressed for halloween Monday night for a suprise visit. I was very pleasently suprised. WW called as they were coming in the door to tell me they were coming. She then came over too. Pictures,holding baby etc. it was nice. They stayed about 30 min. WW then went over to son's house to help hand out candy. Then called to see if I wanted some company for a bit and I said sure. We ate some candy and talked. Well then out of the blue she hands me a key to her new apartment. I was floored. Did not expect thisa dn was at a loss for words. You see I've been meaning to ask if OM is still in the picture. She has told me no but my trust level has been understandably low. This gesture seems to back up what she's told me. Any way I took her out for a little supper tuesday nite and then told her how the key made me feel. Took me a day to find the right words but had to tell her. SF followed. Just thanks for listening i guess............

i'm happy to hear things are progressing for you and your wife. God Bless.

Thanks "Finally" for your thoughts. Having a bit of a panic attack here this afternoon and needed to get a few things off my chest. This will be the 6th evening in a row that WW and I have seen each other and gotten together. It sure feels good. I believe we will be starting JC next week and we'll see how that goes. As I said she gave me a key to her apartment and seems as though she is starting to reestablish some trust. My picture and our wedding pictures are all over her apartment and thats another good sign. I had just called to say hi last night and the first words out of her mouth were "would you like to come over". I did for a couple hours. Put off laundry etc. The funny things is that before d-day if I would have talked to her on the phone it would have been same ole stuff ho-hum. Now 12 weeks later I see or talk to her I'm more alive and my senses awaken. These feelings which had faded seem to have returned and it's wonderful. I feel (as I hope she does) as though we are re-discovering each other and the feelings that had faded. It's as though we are just dating and not married. It's still going to be a long road with a few bumps I suppose but the path seems clear. I hope I'm posting in the right place for I don't have too maney questions. Just need a sounding off board and appreciate all comments/suggestions. My sleeping has been getting better and my concentration at work has improved also. Don't know how long it will take me to put back on the 25 lbs I lost. I even wear my wedding ring each day now and I feel as though someday I will forgive her. I long for the day she's back in this house. Talk to me if you like I'm also lonely, Thanks

jasper, it is nice that things are progressing. this board is great for asking questions and getting suggestions. right now it seems like you are handling it very well.

MC is a good idea.

I'm not a good choice to just "talk with" as you are male and I am female.

i understand you are lonely with her out of the house.

there are many men here that support each other, this board is wonderful for that too.

and remember, your goal is to have your ENs (including companionship) be met by your W <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

you two are doing just fine.

Finally, I didn't mean to imply that you talk to me. I was talking to everyone on this board. But thanks for the response.........

jasper, sorry i misunderstood. given everything, it is best for me to be extremely cautious.

Just a quick update. Was going to pick up leaves today but started raining. My WW and I have now seen each other 7 days in a row and have decided to go to JC. We've even been seen both wearing our rings. I'm starting to think the seperation was not a bad thing and I'm even thinking it may not last as long as I thought. Makes the days easier to handle but I still have plenty of ups and downs. My ambition is low but I muddle through. Anyone else have this problem?