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This is somewhat on the same lines of the wedding ring issue.
What should you do with the cards, love letters, notes, movie stubs, dried flowers?
I'm sure it is probably different for everyone, but I'd love to hear what you guys are doing......
Seeing the light too late?
Hoping and Searching for a better tomorrow....
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Joined: Aug 2004
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I've piped up on the wedding ring issue a few times. My vote, in general, is to get rid of things. A ceremony to remember the "ridding" is good, too. If your relationship is over and you really do want to move on, then keep no momentos. For those people who believe in Feng Shui, the concept of ridding your life of momentos is critical if you want to be open to a new relationship. According to Feng Shui, until the stuff is gone, you will never be ready for better love.
Mrs. W8ing
Burned-out W, 41, ENFJ married to INTJ. Blender family of 7 years w/3 teens. H has been injured/ill and in college for 6 years. Co-parenting for 11 years w/XWH who married A #4 of 5.
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You forgot to add: Gave away or sold items when started a new serious relationship.
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I have recently destroyed EVERYTHING! I went through all of the photo albums and, any pictures that STBXW was in...it was fed into the shredder.
I cannot imagine a circumstance when I will be able to look back on the years we were together with ANY measure of fondness. She was betraying and lying to me for over 5 years of our (just over) 7 year marriage. That is why I now have NO pictures remaining of her in my house.
The only thing I have kept (because it wasn't from her) was a small statue her father gave to me (and didn't want back) on my retirement from the military. He is an honorable man and I am quite happy to keep it.
43yr old FWH who has rediscovered morality
Divorced: 03 February 2006
XW: My threads say it all
"Well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn't have anything to regret for the rest of their life..."
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Burned-out W, 41, ENFJ married to INTJ. Blender family of 7 years w/3 teens. H has been injured/ill and in college for 6 years. Co-parenting for 11 years w/XWH who married A #4 of 5.
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Do you have kids? These things might be of some significance to them, since they were part of the relationship their parents had (which, in turn, created them).
I put my things in a box in the back of the closet. I can weed through it at any point later down the line when I want to. You can't deny that you have a marital history - it's made you who you are today (for good or bad).
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I have sold quite a few of his things, just because he left me with no way to support my kids and wouldn't come pick up his things after being asked repeatedly.
He came and got trash bags full of clothes but wouldn't take his stereo, speakers, golf clubs, craftsman storage
What gives???
Seeing the light too late?
Hoping and Searching for a better tomorrow....
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Well ... I'll vote according to the options that have been afforded since those four are what's available.
<tee-hee-tee-hee-tee-hee>
~ A Good Marriage = Eating a Lot of Humble Pie ~
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If you went on trial for being a Christian, would there be enough evidence?
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~ God listens to knee mail. ~
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Threw a bunch of cards, etc., away in trash. Took lace of wedding gown and kept just the lace. Threw part of fabric away in trash - burned part at sacred fire circle. Sold some things at yard sale. Sent some down the river in a small boat along with efigy of x. kept some things my mom had given him because they were nice things and worth some money. gave him a bunch of pictures of himself and himself with children. different ends for differen items.
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I solved this by being the one to move out. I left everything behind that related to our M except for some photo albums. (I left the framed pictures right where they were on the walls.) I didn't have time to go through and sort/purge the albums so I just took them when I left. Going through them now is WAY down on my list of things to do. I didn't go through the pictures when I thought things were going well - so why do it now?
I don't see a need to get rid of the photos - but it DID feel good to leave other things behind for him to deal with. He's the one who wanted out so he's the one who can decide to finish purging me out of his life if he wants to.
Waiting for dawn...
...but not afraid of the dark.
DDay: Sept 26, 2004
Moved out: Dec 16, 2004
D Final: Oct 10, 2006
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