X-posted from GQII...

My divorce was originally set to be Nov 15th. Then my husband emailed me and said that he had to have a lawyer there, blah blah blah. Then emailed me a few days later and said never mind the lawyer, *he* had to be there. So he rescheduled the hearing for Nov 28th when he will be visiting his parents for Thanksgiving (I live close to his parents, he lives in Puerto Rico).

My original intent over this was that I did not want to go to court. I'm having second thoughts on that.

I have not seen my husband in exactly one year. At that time he asked me for the Harley numbers for counseling. He did start counseling but only called a couple of times. SH pushed him a little hard, I think, but ultimately, it was my h's own choice to stop the counseling.

Anyway, part of me thinks I need to see/hear him lie that our differences are irreconcilable. Part of me believes that he NEEDS TO FACE ME and what he's doing. Out of sight, out of mind...I think all of this has been way too easy for him.

I do not hope for any outcome in regards to my marriage. I'm just wondering if it might not be better for me to be there and see it end. And for him to face what he's done.

I need advice here...should I go or no?

I think you should go, you should go to hear him lie, hear him say the things that you still don't want to hear.

I think you don't want to see him because you still have feelings for him (just like me), but WE need to be strong and show them that we are no longer going to be pushed around. Be there, look great, if you think you are going to cry wear dark glasses and put this in your mind when you hear him talk YOU #@$% YOU WORTHLESS PEACE OF $#%$$#, YOU DON'T DESERVE ME!! - well, that's just me, but then you are going to want to listen to him just so that you start errasing those nice memories you still have of him.

See him at his best, see him be the rat he is, you won't have to move or say anything, the judge will judge him by his words and actions.

Do you have any documents or proof of any kind that could injure his image in court?, because there's a difference between saying and talking dirt and being able to prove it.

Veronica.

Hi aislinn:

Sorry for your latest events. I think you should attend. There is nothing you can do to prevent D, however there has to be a certain amount of closure involved.

My divorce happened by cell-phone! I was on my way to courthouse when my cell phone rang. It was WXW's atty saying that her, WXW and judge are in his chambers - would I mind to proceed by phone. (This is one hour prior to our assigned time.) At first I thought it was a friend playing a joke - however soon realized they were in fact in judges chambers ready to proceed. I objected, saying that I wanted to be there and they needed to wait until the assigned time. Judge then got on the phone and assured me there there were no shenanigans going on, that all was fine. So I decided - "what the heck" and the proceedings went on with me on speaker phone. I particularly wanted to hear WXW's answer when judge asked the reason for D. She said: "Because we tried counseling and it didn't work". I asked over the speaker phone if OM was there; however I don't think the 3 of them saw the humor in that statement that I did. At any rate; the divorce was granted while I drove down the highway. I then turned around and went back to work. Bottom line: Ex did not want to face me. [Still doesn't after almost a year!] It's a crazy world we live in isn't it? Divorce by cell phone - whooda thunk it? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Good luck.

FR