I'm still very new to this dating/relationship thing with kids involved. So thought I'd pose the question to those of you who may have experienced this already:

The man I have been seeing for 3 1/2 months has a daughter turning 20 in a couple weeks. She lives on her own and attends college. Because this next weekend is his weekend with his two younger kids, they will celebrate her birthday this Saturday or Sunday, since all his kids will be together. I will be there, too.

Should I get her a small gift of some kind, or just a card? What is appropriate in this situation? I've been around her several times, even helped her with some college homework once. But he and I have only been together a short period of time.

I don't want to overdo it. I was thinking just a card, since he and I are just dating at this point. But I also don't want to just show with a card if it is appropriate to do something more.

LL

Yes! Technically, aren't you attending her "party", so wouldn't you give her a gift, just as you would anyone? Plus ,she's your BF's daughter, and even though you may not have developed much of a relationship, she's HIS daughter, and I think that means a lot. Not anything big, but more than a card.

I have been dating BF for a month, and had met his DD only once. She turned 9 this past weekend, and we took her to a halloween festival thingee and dinner as part of his birthday "party" for her. I surprised her with a little gift - just a little bag of goodies that a 9 yo girl likes. She loved it, and it kept her entertained at dinner.

I'm just like that though. I'm a giving person, and love to give cards and gifts, and love make people feel special and important, regardless of who they are, or how long I've known them. So I defintely think you should give her something, but not too extravagant.

Just pick up a few things from Bath and Body works or something..nothing fancy.

Yeah or a Barnes & Noble gift card??

Nothing too pricey, but nice, even practical ... I like the B&BW idea or a B&N card.

Ditto on the B&BW idea, cuz girls (even us older ones) can never get enough of that type of stuff! Speaking of gift cards, another idea might be a Starbucks gift card, assuming there is one located near her house...in my town that's where all the teens/20-somethings go in the morning (and during the day too, apparently).

Thanks ladies. Actually, when I first wrote this, there was no formal party scheduled. It was more just going to be that she would be around this weekend and so her dad and her brother and sister were going to recognize her birthday. But now it sounds like there will be a more formal "celebration" (though I'm sure still just family) on Sunday, so I am definitely bringing a gift.

I did ask my BF what he thought she'd like, and he is apparently struggling with the gift-buying himself, so was going to run it past her grandmother and see if she had ideas.

I like the B&BW idea, though am not sure what fragrances she'd like, so may be forced to give a gift card as opposed to an actual gift. I don't really like doing that. Anyone know a good fragrance idea and product(s) for a shy, 20-yr-old college student?

Barnes & Noble would be my second option, because I don't know how much she likes to read.

Starbucks would be a great gift for me because I love coffee, but there isn't a Starbucks in or near the town she lives in.

So my other option, if BF doesn't think the B&BW or Barnes & Noble are good ideas would just be to give her a Target gift card. I mean, who can't find something to buy at Target??

Anyway, thanks for all your input!

LL

Anything fruity would be good...apple, cherry, mango, melon

All the young girls in my office (and I) love Bath and Body Works Cherry Blossom.

I'd buy that and if she does not like it she can always exchange it.

Susan <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Yes, that is the great thing about B&BWs. It's so easy to exchange something with no questions asked! Whether it's a type of product or a fragrance that's preferred. I agree that the fruity scents seem to be a hit with the younger women. At this time of year, with the holidays coming, they often have some nice sets with a variety of products in small cosmetic bags, etc.

LL???

How did it go??? What happened?

LL,

I tuned in a little late, but I'm with Faith - How'd it go? Excited about hearing.