Hello! I read your thread yesterday. I was thinking about your comments about your DD since then. I am fearful for her. You see my mom had an A when I was about 11/12 years old. She left my father for the OM. (he is my sfather-they are still married). At such a critical time in a young girls life my role model made a huge mistake. On top of that my father was crushed and not really emotionally there for me. My entire family was destroyed by my Mom's selfishness. My oldest sister moved in with her b/f. My other sister got pg at age 16. Me? Well, I sought out love and acceptance through sex. Jim, it has taken me until this year to understand what happened to me. Even in my M I have let my H use me for sex. My self esteem was in the toilet and my self worth was 0 at least where sex was concerned. I was discussing this with my sister recently and she went through some very similar experiences with selling herself out sexually for love.

Jim, I see your DD on the same slippery slope. It worries me and I am sure it scares the heck out of you. She needs positive female role models, both married and single. Her mom is no role model. She needs positive male attention and not just from you, though you are the key.

Have you looked at the book Every Young Woman's Battle? Good resource. Have you had a frank talk with her about sex and the ramifications physically and emotionally if she gives herself away?

I apologize if I am butting into something that is none of my business. I just hate to see any young woman follow the painful path I took. I am working on this same stuff to ensure my 12 yo DD does not follow in her mom's footsteps. {{NSR}}

Ff - far here.

I have not read NSRs post, but i like this one of yours. Is there a resource on this site to help us find the right books for help with our kids?

I am glad you have learned about your life, and the role of sex in your life. Thanks for sharing your story with us.

I heard the most disturing conversation last night. (I was eavesdropping) I will write about it and post it here after I get it written. Sad sad sad. It makes my heart heavy. About a high school girl - excited that she does not have aids.

far

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> sighing and shaking my head.

FAR, I am glad you found this helpful. Family Life Today which has a Christian Radio show has an excellent website with resources. I order books from them often. www.familylifetoday.com

Thank you very much for your concern.

It's a concern that was expressed to me by a number of different people, my mother, her dance studioo leader etc.

I have had several talks...
...with more to come.

You would think my DD would see that with my XW dating - over and over again...
after 2 marriages & a six-year relationship with the OM is not what makes a woman (or anybody) really happy.
...but she is still only 13...
...with a lot to learn.

I've though about getting the book you recommended...
...I've hear god things about it.

What I'd like to know... is there a program/series/conference etc...
...that gives authentic christian father-daughter relationship guidance... for emphasizing sexual purity.

Just handing a daughter a book isn't going to cut it...
...especially with current socities attitude and pressures towards sexual promisuity.

Thanks for your concern.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Jim

Jim, Family Life has a set of tapes for the parent and child called Passport to Purity. It is intended for the same sex parent to take the child for a weekend date to listen to the tapes and discuss but I think perhaps you or a close female relative may be able to sub for mom in this case. I bought it for my own DD.

Thanks,

I'll look into it.

I still do monitor her Internet activity...
...and that doesn't cover all basis...
...but it's one more small step in understanding some of her thought processes...
...and the attitudes of her friends toward her.

Thanks again.

Jim

Jim,
Is you DD involved in a church? I teach in the youth dept at my church. We are currently going through a book called "And the Bride wore White." If your dd is involved in a church, you might call the youth pastor and see if he can connect you to her Sunday School teacher or another woman to mentor her.
p

Yes...
...she is involved in church...

Here's the clincher...
...I'm her 'religious ed' teacher.

We do have a 'family life' program...
...and (although I teach her)... I know enough not to 'preach' to her. I will check out the book "And the Bride wore White"... I'm sure it's good.

I know another older same-gender person could and should lead her in this regard. Finding the ideal person is still difficult.

Thank you too, for your kind concern.

Jim