my h did confront ow today, and told her that she was not to c him unless it had to do with the baby. she got mad, says she won't call him about anything, i can only wish that shes telling the truth. i won't get that lucky.

LOL I hope she's telling the truth. But good for him, taking up for your marriage. Give him his kudos. She's burning mad right now, trust me. Even if that's all you can get for now, revel in it.

LynnG - Thank you. I was looking at some of the numbers we may be paying, and believe me when I say, I almost fell out of my seat. I could strangle my H, and I'm not going to say what I could do to that Ho.

Thank you so much for all the good advice. Believe me that everything will be set up Legally. I will of course keep everyone posted. Please remember to keep me in your prayers. This is rough.

Wow I love the way lynn puts stuff.

I am the same way and could care less about any person that is hurting my family unit... OC/OW/ect.

If everyone looks out for Oc or Ow Who looks out for the BS or C.O.M ? so its up to BS to look out for Children of marriage and her family unit.
The OW didnt care about C.O.M when she was commiting adultery now did she so why should BS care about her or OC?

Lynn you know that is not true. That is not the reasons at all. Come on...........fair is fair....and for the record I was the one who said her attitude was like yours. It's attitude nothing more nothing less. But hey take it as a compliment. Not saying I gave it as one, but you may surely take it as that.

Wow Lynn we agree. That is what I told her. I told her nc is in there best interest and hopefully the mow's husband adopt this child.

I pray he adopts, but with the text-message, I don't believe that will be the case, I certainly hope so.

Oh, and Mary - If this thread is the one where you state I was laughing at your opinion, I think that it is funny that everything Lynn said about me being called bitter, OW's thinking that I am wrong because I don't believe their or the OC's well being is before my marriage, is funny to me. I was smiling to Lynn because we were being compared to each other.

I am one who has supported the idea that the OC is the innocent one in the situation and "deserves" to have both parents involved in their life. In fact, I was willing to consider contact with the OC when my xWS and I were considering reconciliation. My xWS and I didn't share any birth children, so I know that made some difference. (Although "we" paid child support for his children from his first marriage, so "our" finances were affected.)

My xWS was very clear with me before the OC was even born, that he could never "abandon" a child that was his. He also recognized that he could never ask me to accept an OC into my life. He did say he wanted the OW to get an abortion and that she refused.

Who really knows what was asked for and/or refused? I'm sure the OW would keep the child just to keep him! She'd known my xWS long enough to see how devoted he was to his other children, and to people who were "down and out". (She was obviously "down" at one point to get pregnant! But I was running "out" of money to pay bills since he was siding some to her! I didn't get rescued!) She had already given one child up for adoption 3 years earlier when she was 18 years old, so she was obviously not opposed to adoption!

Having said this.....

While both people (WS,OW) are responsible for a pregnancy, the male WS has no decision making power about abortion or adoption being the choice. So, I guess that deciding to have NC is a type of way that the male WS can choose "adoption". In other words, if adoption had been chosen (unless it was an open adoption) the birth parents would have no contact, no active parenting role in the OC's life. The OC would have a family that loved him/her, but it wouldn't be the birth parent(s). And the birth parents could actually be intrusive if they attempted ongoing contact.

I don't know if it would be a decision I would or could make, but I can see it from a different perspective now.

That was a very interesting view point. Thank you.