4 Months into recovery and we are doing very well for such a short period. H will be home in about 2 months from Iraq and we can finally start working on repairing our M. Like i said things have been going very well, still emotional on somedays but that is completely normal. I just have this itch....I know its not right and i shouldnt even be thinking about wanting to do this. Its been 4 months since NC with OW has taken place. I just have this urge to go into my email and email her, to let her know that we are making progress but then if I do that I know i'll have a terrible day. Its been bugging for me a few days now but I havent done it and I DONT want to....I just know that if i somehow talk myself into contacting her then it will be a major setback for me and us....God somebody talk me out of it!!! Thanks! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

If you have the urge to write something, by all means write it. Just don't send it. Write it in word or some other non-email application. Then delete it when you're done.

Doing this enables you to get your thoughts out, but because you don't send it and delete it, no consequences.

Granted, I'm from the "other side" -- an FWW -- but my therapist suggested writing stuff like this down and not sending it. It's almost a cleansing experience. It's worth a shot.

well look at it this way..
no matter how well you are aware of recovery going..the OW will skew your letter no matter what it says..
to mean proof that things ARE NOT going well....because why in heavens name would you need to CONVINCE her they were...

she won't believe one word as sincere will see it only as some desperate BS trying to convince herself it is better...

no matter your words
no matter the length
no matter the real message
it will twisted to fit her agenda that you are desperately reaching out to her for validation....
even when recovery IS going great...

still feel like writing that?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

ARK

I agree with ARK. I would write a long letter with paper and pen and then burn it ceremoniously for closure and in celebration of your recovery.

Sending her an e-mail message will bring her back into your life (directly or indirectly), especially if she responds ... maybe even to your H! I would be glad this OW is gone and would not do anything to risk bringing her back ... in any "form." Bury the ashes.

Nope! Im not going to email her at all. The only good thing about all of this is...I will NEVER have to run into her. She lives about 1400 miles from me. I dont see myself emailing her and i completely understand how she'll twist everything up. Its just something thats been bugging me. It comes and goes but now that I got it off my chest i feel much better. So thanks for opening my eyes up, i wont be contacting her EVER! Thanks