I printed and read the thread Roles of Husbands and Wives twice - First comment- AWESOME!!!
Recently I went to a therapist to deal with my husband's lying (no infidelity though). After trying to blame him for all of it, I was trying to figure out what I had done to not make it feel safe for him to be honest with me. Bingo- I was not giving him the respect he deserved as head of our household. I would rarely take his opinon regarding the care of our daughters. I excluded him from the family. I make more $$ than he does and inadvertently was giving him less clout in financial choices (i.e., I set up our children's savings/investing accounts on my own- without getting any input from H).
So here I am- finally giving my husband the respect he needs (and deserves) and it's exactly like you said- a miracle. Our relationship has done a 180. We are gladly meeting each other's needs. We are both open and honest with each other. I can't believe it!!! I couldn't believe that by giving respect (by submission, seduction, and surrendering) our marriage was made anew!!!
As in the articles I posted, this is all very simple...just not easy many times. Men need respect...women need love. It all boils down to that. If women try to deal with their husband as if he were a woman, then he will push her away. If a husband deals with his wife a if she is a man, she will push him away. That is why sometimes, I will do the things I am supposed to and get instantanenous positive reaction from my wife. It is almost like pushing a button and getting the response you want. I aksed my self "Is it that simple...if I meet her needs and be the man, will she respond?" The answer is yes.
Men and women are different. I know many out there want to say that we are no different, except for the plumbing. But there are major differences between us. And to ignore those or minimize them is to cause strain...and even severe damage to your relationship and marriage.
Anyway- two questions:
1) If the H hsa the final decision as CEO of the family, how does POJA work? Would that mean that I'd have to enthusiastically rely on the Lord to covere our backs if my H made a decision that I didn't agree with?
Yes, that is the basics. But let's look at this real quick. If a husband that is following Christ and is dying for his wife...would he ignore her ideas or suggestions? The answer is no. What if he isnt following the Lord? Well, look to my answer to your second question.
POJA works well in this environment. But one thing the ladies need to understand is that since God did give the husband the headship responsibility, then He also gave him certain attributes and information from God that the wife does not have. So, a couple are trying to decide on something. Both talk about their idea. The Bible is consulted. But the way can still not be ascertained. What do you do? Well, the Bible says that you trust the Lord...and trust that He is the head of your husband. That if your husband is listening to Him, then the idea he came up with may have come straight from the Lord. At the very least, by submitting...you allow the Lord to take charge of your husband and direct him in the right direction.
2) The bible states that the believing H sanctifies the unbelieving W, but could this be reversed if the W is the believer and the H the unbeliever?
Thank you
What does it say about your submission?
Submitting to your husband...(1 Peter 3:1-6)
“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any {of them} are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be {merely} external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but {let it be} the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.”
It says by your submission (respect), your husband can be won without a word. So, yes...thru your submission, your husband (if he is unsaved) can be brought to salvation.
In His arms.
