Another crazy thing happened last night. I got a call from my wife at about 6pm. I had a college class to attend. I asked her what her plans were and she said she was done with work and was probably going to go to sleep. We were already not getting long.

So I get done with my college class and return home around 8:15pm. I get out of my car and see to the right of me what looks like my wife's boss's SUV with it's lights on. With the lights I couldn't see in; wasn't even sure if it was his car or not. So I go into my house and my wife isn't there. I begin to prepare some boiling water for spegetti for dinner but of course I'm bothered by the possibility that my wife's boss and my wife are in that car. I can only see his headlights from my window. I'm peaking through the blinds. About 10 minutes later my wife walks around the front of his car and towards the house. My heart sank. I wanted to believe that I was wrong. I had hoped mybe she was out with her girl friend Arin. I felt like I had just caught her in bed with him. I was soo hurt and disgusted... here I am really making an effort to trust and this!!!

As soon as she walked through the door I told her she was disgusting. That I hated her. Here I am working on trust and I come home to this!! She was very upset and atament that it was nothing. That he had been out of town and call her up on short notice and wanted to meet her for dinner at a Thia restaurant to go over the work for the next day. Knowing that it would take hours and how weird it would look if she went to dinner with him when she told me that she was going to be at home sleeping, she asked him to drop by and give her the work. And that he was assigning her the next day's work in his car. Their office's roof did indeed cave in due to the hurricanes so they have no office. So she offered that up that his car was their office. I said "Why not meet at a well-lit place with other people around?!!! Meeting your boss in his car and talking for well over 10 minutes is weird and messed up!! That is not normal! No self respecting married woman does that!!" I was furious. Anyway, she says that I'm reading into things and presuming things... that her job is just crazy. That her work hours are from 8am to 8pm and that she is "on call" all the time. She works for a law firm.

I demanded that she quit her job at the law firm or that it was over between us. For one, if there were anything going on, now if I ever see him with her, I know for sure it is an affair. Secondly, if things are like she says it is, he is a weirdo to be setting up meetings with a female employee in the evenings over dinner, having her give him tennis lessons at night. He has his reasons like he's a busy lawyer during the day and night is the only time he can work on his game. Part of me just wonders if this guy is working his way towards seducing her and she's too naive to see it? He's supposedly in his 50s so it's hard to imagine that my wife would be attracted to a guy that old. Am I over-reacting by demanding she quit her job? It doesn't feel like I am. Things seem SOO WEIRD and disfunctional!! Is she not doing things that raise massive red flags for me? I actually know that I have some insecurity problems but I just can't think that sitting in a parking lot with your boss for 10 minutes to talk about work is normal. I feel like she is doing things to merit my distrust.

I guess I should add this too for background. The first post happened last night. The post below was written abut 2 or 3 days before that.
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My wife and I are having similar problems. I'm actually went to councelling this past Monday to try and find some way to move past it. I am in the role of the "suspicious husband".

I watched "indecent proposal" last night. Probably not the best movie to watch when you are having trust issues. But I related to the suspicious husband and there were times where I just cried and cried and cried about how sad it all was-- the pain brought on by mistrust. The husband was making his wife miserable with accusations, questioning her constantly... really distroying their relationship. But then again, I understood how once the seed is planted that something may be going on, it's very hard to just tell yourself to stop imagining things.

My wife has a very hectic life. She has weird and unpredictable work hours. Most nights she teaches tennis from 6pm to 10pm. Two nights ago, she met her boss for dinner at about 6pm and he kept her there till 9pm. Last night she was in charge of her office moving so the movers came and she over-saw that. She didn't get off work till 12:30midnight. Other things... she claimed she was going to play in a tennis tournament with her boss. So I asked if I could watch. But the day of, she said that the tournament had been cancelled due to all the rain from the hurricane.

So as you can see, there are quite a few red flags popping up for me. However, many of her "odd" stories in the past have been validated as accurate later so... I am talking with the councellor to try and understand if I'm an untrusting, paranoid person and that's the problem or if her actions are strange and causing me to doubt her. Whatever the truth is, the counselor and I are working to try to figure out how to break the cycle of distrust-- wether that means that she make more of an effort to not have such a caotic schedule/life or wether it means that I have to just give myself a pep talk and stop being soo suspicious and trust her no matter what.