Post deleted by betrayed3

There are women here to help you. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. My personal opinion is that if you can't participate in the visits, then to heck with it. But of course, you need to decide what is best for you. I'm truly sorry, I know this is painful, especially if his mother is choosing the OW's side. People never fail to amaze me. I don't care whether she likes you or not, you don't deserve this.

Post deleted by betrayed3

hello,

welcome, sorry you have to be here to.

1. wait for dna if she was with someone else befor theres still a chance its not your h.
2. I know in our case if I cant go h doesnt go, we played that game already with hxw, when my h and i got married xw woulnt allow h to take dd. he had to go to here house, then she made threats of he would lose dd if he didnt come whenever she called. Dont give her a chance. We had to move out of state just to give our marriage a chance. those kind of women you give in to them it wont stop. One day she will come around, If its your h. If she doesnt she would probably continue to play games and hold child over his head anyway. trust me, its not worth it.
give it to God for now, wait for dna test results, then go from there, stick to your boundries.

Also not only am i going through this now but my aunts sister went through this. her h left her for her bestfriend, he later came back. her daughter later saw ow pregnant, that was how they found out. they didnt see oc untill 18months old cause ow didnt want baby around her, well paternity was done visitation was done and they now have oc everyother weekend oc calls her mom, and she feels this oc is a gift from god. they never gave in to just her h seeing the oc without the wife. it took time but it all worked out.
let us know how dna test turns out, was ow ok with test being done.
goodluck and you are welcome here, we are here for eachother.
bye for now, imtswife

What your feeling is nothing but normal. I can't stand the ho in my situation either. That's not Christian, and I know it, and I need to work on it, but it is normal.

oh i forgot to mention, It sounds like you have a mil that has no respect or honor to her son. I too have one of those, I dont care anymore what she thinks of me but it breaks my heart to see her treat her only son the way she does. I woulnt be surprised if my mil, ow and hxw all get together and become best friends. her loss, I dont care she is a lousy grandma to our son and to most of her other grandchildren. I have no respect or love for her for the way she has outcasted her son. I hurt for him. how did your mil meet ow anyway?

Post deleted by betrayed3

HURRAY FOR YOUR HUSBAND,

glad to hear he stood up to his mother.

now since i am a grandma i need to look at it from the other side. I love my dd that my son is no longer with, i always will call her my daughter, however she is not good for my son and he is not good for her. I would always want to stay close because of my grandkids. but my honor is too my son and she knows that. i would love to have her every holiday, ( she was 14 when her and my son got pregnant) but if son isnt comfortable or his most recent girlfriend then she isnt there. I know this situation is differant but i did have to look at it from that side.
to my h I have always been first if his mom doesnt like me thats her problem.
i dont see anything wrong with the picture frame, maybe its like a peace offering,its her grandchilds father. I dont see our ow mom doing that as she didnt like my h but only met him once, but then i wouldnt either my h is 42 ow is 24, i wouldnt be happy either.
it sounds like your h is standing up to his mom so i wouldnt worry you all might consider cutting contact with her. my h told mil if she invites xw for family xmas again we wont be there. now mind you mil didnt like his x when they were togther, then doesnt like me when were together. i know what your going through but as i was told we cant control what others do, our ow is now hanging out w hdd and xw, even though we asked her to not. but we cant control, we can only control our own actions, yes its putting a widge between h and dd, shes18. but its how it is. its a way to try to pull h in and were just not going to play. you cant stop his mom but he can choose to cut ties because of it. it sounds like hes sticking up for you, thats great,
well i got a busy weekend ill talk to you on monday, hang in there, youll get through this, imtswife

Betrayed,

My ILs also betrayed me the way yours have. The started a relationship with OW before even knew about the A! They pushed and pushed my H to leave me and my children, while OW pulled him towards her and OC. When he finally made the decision to stay with me, the IL's told him they would disown him and give his inheritance to OW/OC and never speak to him again. OW was okay with using his family as leverage to get what she wanted. I can't even imagine being part of breaking up someone's parents from them!!

So he was disowned and his father still refuses to talk to him, and it has been 1-1/2 years! His mother started to try and get back in good with him and pretended like nothing had happened and that she had done nothing to him or to me. They wrote him the most nasty letter and the start of it was "LBelle broke up our family"!!! It was MY fault that he wouldn't leave me for the HO. As if I made him have an affair for my own evil purposes.

MIL stayed with OW for a month to help her with OC when she was born.

I will never, ever have a relationship with those people again. They have not talked to my children since Feb. 2004. My H told them they can't until they make it right with me. But at this point, I know I will never get anything close to an "I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking." type response, so I don't ever want to talk to them again.

We think they still talk to OW, but they don't talk about her or OC when my MIL talks to my H (very infrequently). He asked them not to since we are NC.

My H and I have talked about IL's with our MC many times. I am not going to waste my sessions on them anymore. They pretend they didn't do anything, I am going to pretend they don't exist. H can have a relationship if he wants, but not me.

I am so sorry you have had this awful situation put on you. And the added betrayal of the in-laws. What is wrong with people????

There are a lot of people to help you here. Your story is painfully familiar to most of us. What you are feeling is totally normal. Don't second guess your feelings. Keep posting and stay strong. It can turn out okay in the end, if both you and your H work together and stay a team! Not him with OC and not you! Totally a team and united!

I am so sorry that you went through something so impossible to believe. That is utterly ridiculous.

I'm that they believe there are reason's not to like you, but irregardless of what those could possibly be, you did not deserve the treatment you recieved. Don't kill yourself worrying about crazy people.

I will be sure to keep you in my prayers.