I'm not going to get into my current situation because in another life, I did get and continue to get some good advice from the members here.

FWIW, I have exposed in Plan A. We started MC but it was aborted becasue after W went NC with OM, she still does not want to work on M, and still plans to leave in the near future. these are her exact words to MC #1. It took MC completely off guard, and I had no idea either.

We have switched to a new MC and so far we have only seen this MC separately. W has been there 3 times and I have met MC 2.

I have been planning a Plan B for a couple of months now primarily based upon my W's lack of honoring the NC (failed back in Sept) and becasue she still wants to leave and not attempt to work towards restoration. Basically, she has no remose for the A at all. She still says she wants OM in her life, and feels that she was forced or backed into a corner when asked for NC with the OM.

In the coming weeks, I have a perfect opportunity to enact a Plan B, but as usual, I have some lingering doubts. Since our new MC will not reveal my W's true intentions or even if there has been any progress with her still wanting to leave, I am sort of hung out to dry.

So I guess I have some questions regarding Plan B, and yes, I have read all the info etc. My W will be leaving shortly as according to her, we need time apart and with the coming holiday, it will give her a chance to visit her family. This amounts to some 4 weeks and within that 4 weeks she will get no MC'ing.

In my situation, if NC is indeed happening, is it wise to enact a Plan B even if W's stated intent is to still leave? You see, we have a child still in school and she wants to wait till school year end. My child does not know the situation.

I'm also worried about the NC. I can't be sure since phone records are not due till this weekend, but apart from that, she might have become the wiser and found alternative ways to keeping in touch with OM. Can one ever know for sure if NC is real?

At this point, if NC is happening, Plan B as I see it would isolate her which is the purpose and not to break the contact issue.

Anyone else faced an issue where contact was broken, but the WS still did not want to work on the M?

I have a meeting with the MC to actually go over the my Plan B letter, but would like any input I can get.

p47d

If there is NC, why do you want to do Plan B? What are you trying to achieve? What do you want her to do that she isn't doing? Are you really talking Plan B or Plan D?

Just because the A ends does not mean that the M will survive. The reality is that there were problems in the M before the A. So, with or without the A, you and her had some work to do to make it a healthy M.

Trust me bro, NC is "not happening' during these 4 weeks, so the ? is essentially moot.

Lem <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

P47D,

If your W does not want the M what will plan B accomplish? Plan B is going dark on your W and having NC with her.

If she is wanting to leave and you are wanting her to stay then a strong plan A, showing her you are the best thing for her would be more apropriate.

A plan B would play right into her hands, unless you think the plan B would get her to realize what she is missing (you).

""I can't be sure since phone records are not due till this weekend,""

Can't you go online and check the records out?

Wanting to leave and no remorse would lead one to think that contact is still there. Foggy talk seems to be what you are getting from her.

k

krusht:

>If your W does not want the M what will plan B accomplish? Plan B is going dark on your W and having NC with her.

W wants us to live in "peace" over the next 7 months. In other words, to play married. Play and appear married and happy to my children, some friends where we live and within our church. Our pastor knows and was told my W that she still wants to leave next summer. The feeling there is that the A has simply been put on hold until July.

So, would you advise me to live the lie? Play the game knowing the end result? I have already told her she is free to go, but she refuses since she believes our children need their mother! Note, my children are 19 and 18, not little kids.

>If she is wanting to leave and you are wanting her to stay then a strong plan A, showing her you are the best thing for her would be more apropriate.

This has been what I have been doing for 3 months now. As I said, we were in MC together, and we are seeing another MC separately after W pulled the plug on the first recovery plan. But what is the use if her plan remains the same? I have been showing her I am the best thing. She has even stated to the MC that she sees big changes in my behavior, and that she believes that these changes are permanent, BUT, she says it is to late. She cares to deeply for the OM, even though they have broken it off, or so she says.

>A plan B would play right into her hands, unless you think the plan B would get her to realize what she is missing (you).

Yes, this would be my motive.

>""I can't be sure since phone records are not due till this weekend,""

>Can't you go online and check the records out?

No, Verizon has no way of looking at the ongoing usage. You can only see the usage when the billing cycle has ended which is the 4th. That means the call records will be available on the 5th, tomorrow.

BTW, I have contacted the Harley's and will talk with them. Right now, I do not want to blow the situation up, but I am torn between sitting around doing nothing and doing something. Like over the next 4 weeks, what am I to do while W is off celebrating with friends and family 1000 miles away?

p47d