Of course all names are deleted. This is the email since he broke it off & told her he wanted his family. He confessed he had been telling her all the usual'Im going to leave my wife & family for you'. She contacted me here lately verbally and I explained to her that I was sorry she got caught up in the midst of our marital drift and that we were working our marriage out. Tell me what you guys think?

HERE IT GOES!

I can not lie to you and pretend that I'm not hurting so deep down inside. I love ----- and he loves me too. I know he is hurting as well because he thinks that I will never forgive him so you're all he has left to try to safe. We have been in love with one another for a long time. I know he has lied to us both but is only because he does not want to loose me. He continues to fill your head up with things like " I never had plans on leaving home for her" and that's only because he is so affraid that you will leave town with ----- (OUR KID). ------'s heart is here with me. His body is there with you and he's not ever going to be happy. ------ shared a future with us and he would tell you the same things that we had plans to do, because he was trying to throw you of. He and I are a team and this is how we planned it. I did not want to be the one to tell you this, in fact, neither one of us wanted to ever tell you but it has gotten to this point and I know ------, he is not going to admit it because of his pride. It would make him look bad. He's coming back to me and when he does I'm going to forgive him and love him just as much as I did when we first fell in love. So this is never going to end. Nobody, and I mean nobody, understands ----(WHOLE NAME) --- the way I do. We shared some very special moments, love, conversations and secrets. You and most people in his life has tried to control him and he has never been able to be who he really wants to be. That's why he finds it so easy to lie because he feels that he has to, in order to be in good standards with those that want him to live the way they see fit. Let him be happy. I understand that as long as he is married to you, you are his abligation but what's the use, when there is no love involved. That's just using a boby and very materialistic. At least if you are going to be there living of him, let him be happy. You, yourself told me that you don't love him and that at times you hate his guts. Why are you making him suffer. He deserves a woman that loves him and will love him for the rest of his life. Your love for him is gone and has been gone for years. He does not love you either and you know this. You know where his heart is. He's going to come anyways and you can't stop him. I can tell that you are a decent woman and you know what you want. Why are you wasting so much time. Do you really hate him that much to keep him unhappy? you can mark it on your calender, the love in his heart for me is bringing him back. He can't stay away from his happiness. Even if he gets this job in (OUT OF TOWN), ----- is going to make a way for he and I to be together. We are in love with one another and if you were able to look inside our hearts, you would see it and know that is true love. I'm always going to be there for him. Always. When the time comes, you are going to know where ----- wanted to be to begin with and for (KID) sake, we'll have to get along. I don't have a problem with that nor do I have a problem with you, all that matters is that (KID) is loved, that you and your new life is going for the better and that ----- and I are where we want to spend the rest of our life's, with each other. We are each other's soul mate and we have realize that from the time we been together. Is no secret to you so I'm not trying to tell you something you don't and have all ready known since the time you and I found out about each other. He just needs you to agree that your marriage is no longer a marriage, have not been a marriage for years, the love, trust and respect for one another is gone. He wants it done in good terms though as far as splitting 50/50 what ever you guys accomplished together material wise and to be able to spend the time that he deserves with his (KID). He does not know how to tell you that without hurting you. As he says, you just want to take it all and he has done the majority of the sweating to get what he has gotten so far but he's not trying NOT to share with you. He knows that he made it happen while you were married to each other and by law and because he is the man that he is, you are in tilte to half. Don't let him suffer anymore. ----- has been angry for a years , but is because he is not happy and has not been happy since the day he married. Before then, his anger was his father. He shared all of it with me and he cried on my shouders like a little helpless baby 'cause he made the biggest mistake in his life and he knew is not want he wanted "exculding (KID)". You gave him a beautiful child and that angel, is his pride and joy. He feels abligated to you for that matter and the fact that you are still married but he does not love you. If he did, I WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN IN THIS PICTURE. ---- is what has kept him there all this time. I'm not a home braker -----. When I first met -----your home was all ready broken. I remember one night when he and I were just good friends, he slept in his truck in a parking lot cause you and he had got into some sort of argument. Because of his pride again, he did not go to his sisters or anywhere else because he did not want anybody to get in his business. He called me from work that night, we talked for hours but I just thought he had to work that night; not to mention, we would talk like that often so it never crossed my mind that something was wrong. It was not until the next day that he told me where he slept. We were all ready in love with each other but we were just getting to know one another. What we share is real and you/anyone can not take that from us. We're always going to have these feelings for one another and like he told me " if you leave me, I'll just have to live the rest of my live knowing that I found the love of my life and you'll always be ingraved in my heart. ---- knew I was getting to the point to where I needed answers and I was rushing him, pushing him for those answers and he was scared that I was going to leave him. He would leave me and a few hours later come home and probably kiss you in the mouth. I understand that he had to do what he had to do in order to make it happen for us. He had to still come to you and make you think that you are still attractive to him in that way because if he did not, you'll be trying to investigate what he was doing and make things worst. ----- is not a bad person and neither am I. We had to be a team { like he told me} in order to make things happen for us. It was hard for him and I, both, to sacrifice not being with one another. Him pretending to you that he was going home for love and me knowing that he was going to a home that he called a 'house' because he is not happy. We're made for each other and no one can take that away from us. Don't fool yourself -----, just like you told me ) you know who ----- loves and you know that this is not over. Our love is unconditional and will alway be with us no matter where we go. I'll always be here for him. Two people that love each other the way that ------ and I do, could never be made to seperated mentally nor physically. These are the facts of our life's. Let's just face them and we'll all be happy. You won't lose out on anything, you don't love him, you still have a (KID) with him and you'll get 50/50 out of the material stuff that you both have together. Is fair and if anything you'll gain the happiness that you so much desire with that other man . ----- and I can move on with our life's [and believe me when I tell you, we've tried in the past] perhaps, pretend that this never happened but our heart is in it and it won't allow us to. Woman to Woman....


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

garbage from an airhead

this is typical tripe that OW's write to each other on OW message boards

do not respond

She's trying to get you to kick him out ... typical.

do not respond

Pepperband, what is the "OW message boards". How do I get to it?

Nahhh....post it in the village newspaper with her name left in it....perhaps include complete name, address and phone number? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

This really is just typical fog-babble from her perspective. Of COURSE they were meant for each other, OF COURSE he'd never lie to HER, only to you. Of COURSE this would all be so much better if you would just give up and let him go to her....

I say flat out confront him with it...even suggest that as soon as you get done with him telling you that he loves you and will stay with you and that she's just full of doodoo that you then calmly tell him to get her on the phone right there, put it on speaker so everyone can hear, and tell her the same thing that he just told her. Make sure that it's crystal clear what he's saying...and make sure that the OW gets it that he's NOT going to be with her anymore ever again. If there is any hesitation or doubt on his part...kick his butt to the curb because he's been BSing you the whole time. Just my thoughts.

my first thought was that this sounded like a reverse plan b type letter - 'I will always be there waiting for him type statements' but as I kept reading the impression I got was of a women who knew that things were slipping out of her control and her last option is to undermine the BW in the triangle to get the upper hand.

The one statment that I don't understand is below:-
'We were all ready in love with each other but we were just getting to know one another.'

How does this work, how can you love someone when you don't know them

The other thing, her spelling is terrible!

Agreed, it is tripe from OW and you should ignore it.

Wow. This gal could really benefit from a remedial English course. Her spelling is atrocious, her sentence structure is awful, and her thoughts just go round and round.

Tell her to learn to write properly before she sends another e-mail...........to anyone!

UUUUFFFFFFDAAAAA!!

Has your husband read it?

k

I'd say that she is trying to convince herself that this is true <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

She's in a panic

Thank you Kenda -- no dinner for me tonight I am sick. This woman is delusional. She needs help. Like Pep said do not respond.

Tdr

horrid spelling! she must have the same educational level of my xh's (former wh) present ow/w....

I am rolling b/c of her inappropriate use of the English language....

she is trying to cause a further rift between you both. I would show this to wh...say that it has HURT you...do not approach him angry, just be kind, calm, and tell him of your hurt...it could backfire on OW if you play this right.

Also I warned people on this board that I did read that ow out there are doing a "plan b"ish type of approach in initiating nc with H's out there...it is sick, but yes, they are mimicking our success...

but we will show them how abysmal (she can't comprehend that word muchless spell it...ow that is)a failure she is.

You guys are so funny. I thought it (her english/spelling) was just awful as well. And of course it took me all day to read it simply because I have a bad habit of correcting one's english. I guess you'd say I shouldv'e been an english teacher. Well..... naw, cause she wouldve flunked my class at registration.

sorry.....ow aside, i think your WH will play both sides here. Show this leter to your cheater, see wha he says....is there nc?

Wow, what a ranting, desperate, ridiculous letter !
I think I would not only NOT reply, but would block or change my email so she couldn't send any more messages.
I'd print a copy too, just in case she starts harassing
you and you need to take action against her.
Best wishes- Slammed

Keep a hard copy of the email for your files.
Block her from your email account.
Has your husband sent a no contact letter? If not, he must do so now. Hand him one of the no contact letter templates from this site. Don't let him write anything sweet in it.

I am concerned about her remarks that he hates to be the bad guy. That actually sounds true to me (it's so common among WHs). What she hasn't figured out is that if he really does lie to keep people happy with him, he'll lie to her as much as he does to everyone else. Nonetheless, if he's got this lie to keep them happy habit, is he in therapy to try to get over it?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I agree that you should copy it for your own records, show it to your H and block her ability to get in contact with you. This is a chance for your spouse to stand up and show you how much he intends to be with his family.

He needs to send the NC letter if he hasn't and resend it if he has with a note to never contact YOU again either. He needs to make it very clear that he does not now and never will want her and that you and his marriage are his only priorities. He should protect you and any progress that has been made at all costs.

How he reacts to this will tell you a lot.

FIM

That's what I was thinking, all the way through, but wasn't sure if I should say it, or if it was just my English teachers' daughter heritage that was having a hissy fit over style, while my wife heritage was <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> at content. Having agreed that English, or even human, is not necessarily her native language, it's got to be acknowledged that WSs don't get into these messes to improve their grammar! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Good luck, and don't get any wool pulled over your eyes.

t&l

I have to laugh. Here I sit reading this very long letter, thinking I would probably panic if I had received it myself, and the next thing I see is:

"garbage from an airhead"

Perfectly stated, Pep! As always, you rawk!

Yep...she's absolutely terrified she's lost him...goodie for YOU!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Keep up the good work!

Fog begats fog begats fog.

Have you and your H sent her the recommended NO CONTACT letter, one that's been viewed and "approved" by others here on the forums?

If not, it needs to be done NOW.

Also, change your phone numbers, block her e-mails from arriving and anything she may send you in the mail, toss it without opening and reading.

No contact should apply not only for your FWH, but also for YOU.

You just received a condensed version of all the LIES that HAD to be told to justify and sustain the fantasy world of an affair. It's all just crap. Burn it.

Don't worry about her, because if your H is truly in NC, you need all your energy to work on recovery. The OW is not of any importance, whatsoever.

Best wishes,
SD