I've never used a calling card and don't know much about them. I will look into it. If I used a calling card, what shows up on caller id? In one of her emails to WS, she mentions that they have caller id.

Well, your fears are are rational and normal, but you know what...........so what? You are going to give your WH a good "litmus" test to see how he reacts. These "horrible" and terrible Husbands and Wifes of the Other person are 99.9% of the time NOTHING like they are painted out to be. Just ask Kimberely...her WH's other persons Husband should have committed a double homicide by now with exposure, but interestingly enough, that hasn't happened.

Save the excuses, your situation is no different than anyone elses. Do what is humanly right, and what is best for your marriage. Put the remainder of the fire extinguisher to this affair. If the OW-H reacts badly...that is NOT on you. You don't have any responsibility of how people act and what they do.....noone except yourself ofcourse.

Lem <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

The reason he will be furious is because he has something to hide and is holding out hope of a resumption. If the OP's spouse chooses to tell your H's family, how is that your problem? An affair is very much the OWH's business.

Again, if there is nothing wrong with his relationship, he doesn't have any call to be angry. Even so, it is OK if he is angry. Just as long as it buys you extra insurance against the affair resuming.

How could she indentify you from a calling card? Why not just call from your office tommorrow and see if he answers? This really doesn't have to be so hard, sick.

OK, does anyone know what shows up on caller id when you use a calling card?

sick, what difference would it make? Perhaps you should just call from your office and ask for him? If he is not there, just ask when he will be back.

Because I don't want them to have my business number. Right now my business is the only place of peace I have. I don't need either one of them calling me there and creating trouble or embarassement. Only one of my partners knows about this and I want to keep it that way, for now at least. I would rather keep it on my home number or my cell.

then why not use your cell phone?

Sick,

Perhaps you have already read this but one way to snoop on WH is to purchase with cash a Voice Activated DIGITAL voice recorder and hide it up under the passenger seat of WH's car. You will capture his conversations on his cell phone. If you ever get caught and he threatens to press charges deny you ever put it there and claim the defense that he set you up. Even if you do not hear conversations with OW you will likely hear discussions about the situation with some "friend" that knows the situation. You need a strong backbone to hear what you may hear. It is all fog babble so do not take any of it to heart.

I agree with Mel...stop trying to get him to admit it is an affair. Work on reverse babble (see Orchids reverse babble link). When he says he only cares about you then indicate that you only care about him and want all contact to cease.

Good luck,

Mr. Wondering

That's what I did in the previous call. The area code would give it away for her.....

When I tell her husband, do you think this will help breaking through to WS that this is, in fact, an EA? This is where we remain stuck in terms of any hope for getting through this. As long as he denies it had any meaning to him, I don't see how to fix the problem. Telling her husband may be the moral and logical thing to do, but how does it help us with getting through this crisis in my M?

She calls him on his work cell when he is in the plant. She is not available to call him during his commute due to her work hours. I did put a digital recorder in his car last week, but he never talked to anyone but other drivers and the radio about a football commentary.

If anyone knows of a way to record a cell phone that does not belong to us I would love to hear about it. I searched all over the web and was not able to come up with anything.

sick, as I explained before, I think this may bring your H out of the fog if the affair truly ends and any avenues of resumption are cut off. As long as he is still in contact or is planning for resumption, he won't likely withdraw. Exposure such as this will throw cold water on the affair and possibly make him wake up.

Does he deny he did anything wrong? Or is the real issue over the terminology?

Because, when he has the "affair" busted up with exposure you and him can plainly see how he takes it, and then with the "affair" securely outed and gutted, you can get on to this business of saving your marriage. Right now, your cheater does not believe that what he is doing is wrong...hey, there are WH's on this board who have impreganated other women and have blamed the BS for "pushing me" into it, so in essence, your WH's "denial" of the situation is acutally small stuff "so far". Expose this to the OWH, and then be done with it.

Lem <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

He says that is was "inappropriate" and a few days ago "wrong". BUT, that is was NOT an affair because there was no sex and I am worked up over nothing and overreacting.

He says it meant nothing and I just need to get over it. I am CERTAIN that this would have been a PA if not for the miles between them. The emails and calls were almost always sexual.

I have a suggestion if you are so worried. Buy a phone card and call your own house and check the caller ID. A friend of mine uses one to make all of her long distance calls. We live in the same area code, but when she calls it is some far away area code.

p

It's just a semantic game that my wife also used. So I started calling it an "infidelity"; in fact, they all were infidelities, which sounds ominous and biblical, and pissed her off.

You are all right. I am terrified to do it but I will call him. I will let you know what happens.

You'll do good. Have some faith in yourself.

Buy the decemember issue of marie claire magazine..there's a huge article on emotional affairs....what they are...
even a quiz...........

check it out..........

ARK

My WW still refuses to call her intense EA an "affair".

Even her own mother told her she was having an affair.

Don't let him throw you off by telling you you're overacting. Two EA's have destroyed by 29 year marriage. I have come to believe that emotional betrayal is probably more damning than sexaul betrayal.

Don't let you guard down. Call it an AFFAIR every chance you get, don't sugar coat it by using other, less offensive words.

Georgia