Well my WH is such a coward, still have not even admitted his A/A's to anyone including me. He won't even bring OW around anyone, I guess he is trying to save his reputation like that is not the reason he is gone, go figure.

That is fairly normal. My WH has been living with the OW for 3 years. He denied he was having an affair. When I caught them in bed together he FINALLY admitted it. But he still denies to this day that they are living together.

UPDATE:

Great news, I misunderstood my attorney about the temporary spousal support/maintenance. I CAN get it.

Not only did we (attorney and I) answer WH D petition:
We stated that WH Petition for Dissolution failed to state a cause of action upon which relief may be granted
We stated that the service of process was improper
Therefore we ask that the court denies the relief requested by WH and enter my Counter-Petition for Dissolution which states:
He shall pay my attorneys fees
Spousal Maintenance and suit monies
Amongst other things

Also we filed a Counter Motion for Temporary Custody, Visitation, Child Support, Maintenance, Attorney Fees, Suit Money, and Costs which states:
I deny that I refused WH contact with minor children and by way of affirmative defense state that if WH has not been permitted contact it is due b/c of WH own failure to request visitation, accept my repeated requests that he visit the children and his general unwillingness to co-parent the children
Therefore we ask that the court denies WH Motion and enters my Counter-Motion which states:
The best interest of children to stay with me in the marital home on the grounds of WH current living conditions are not suited or fit for the health, education and welfare of the children
WH has failed and refused to visit them since April 2005 and the Court enter a visitation schedule between WH and children during the pendency of this action
WH has denied me access to the income and assets, that I am w/o income to provide for my own living expenses and for the children’s and will incur living expenses in excess of $3000 per month for the children if the temporary residence of the children for legal and educational purposes is awarded to me, that I need possession of the marital residence to care for the children
That WH shall not transfer, encumber, conceal or in any way dispose of any property except for the usual course of business and requiring WH to notify me of any proposed extraordinary expenditures and to account to the court for all extraordinary expenditures made after this Order is issued
WH be required to pay to me a sum of money per month for the support of the children, so long as this suit is pending and retroactive to the filing hereof
WH be required to pay me a sum of money per month for spousal maintenance, so long as this suit is pending and retroactive to the filing hereof
And grant further relief as to the Court seems just and proper

I am very happy with the Counter-Petition and Counter-Motion, I was a little worried at first before I saw the papers. Now let’s just hope that a judge will ruled in my favor. Don’t have a date for the Temporary Motion as of yet. I just received the copies today.

Sounds very good. In California, very few cases are decided by the courts. Let's hope that this scares your WH into doing the right thing.

It sounds like things are looking up for you (well, legally). Im happy that there was a misunderstanding about spousal support!

Sending you an email within the day. STAY STRONG!!!

Hey Believer,
Yes here in MO they like for the spouses to settle things out of court also but if WH doesn't want to do the right thing then he has to be forced to. My attorney called his attorney to ask him for WH to at least start paying child support immediately but WH attorney never got back to him.

Hey Mojo,
Yes it is such a relief to know that things are starting to come around legally, it is just so sad that WH is being forced to do the right thing. I will be looking for the email. Thanks

I'm going through the same thing. We tried mediation (WH didn't show up, I was out $350.), and our own agreement. WH wrote up our agreement, and after lawyer drew it up, WH refused to sign it. That cost me another $500. So I am doing the divorce thing to force him.

Thats good Lashelle, You have a good lawyer, I'm sure you will get everything allotted to you. Your WH shows no responsibility or care to the children, and the judge will not like that. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Lady

Sorry Believer, these WH's are something else I tell you, you do what they want and then they get mad at you, go figure.

Hey Lady, yeah I was worried at first but my attorney turned out to be a good one (he is recognized by the court as a child advocate), from my understanding the courts call on him alot. He said that the judge we have is a good and fair judge (I wondered if that's good or bad). I think good b/c he will be upset with WH for not taken care of his responsibities or seeing the kids.

Okay, Christmas is only 2 days away, still haven't heard anything from STBXWH about the kids' Christmas gifts (that he promised them that he would buy).

I wondered if he got my answer to his D Petition/Temp Motion and my Counter-Petition/Counter Motion and is upset about it.

What a jerk, how could he do this to his kids?

I don't know how WH can forget the children too. Pray for the children Lashelle. Do you have the money to buy them gifts? If not you tell the children, gifts will be coming but they might be a little late.


Your H has been taken captive by satan to do his will, and he doesn't even know it. His conscience has been defiled. Terrible!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Have no faith in your WH, but only God. He will help you and the children Lashelle. He is the Father to the fatherless.

Love & Blessings,
Lady

Hey Lady,
Yeah I do pray for the children and myself daily, that is how I am getting through all of this along, with the MB family.

I am strapped right now but I know that God will make a way. I think my mom and sister brought them a couple of gifts, I already talked to them about more gifts coming later, they were okay with it, even told me that it's not what Christmas is all about. TRUE, but I still want to get them gifts.

I have absolutely no faith in STBXWH, actually starting to lose all respect and love for him that's why I am in a VERY, VERY DARK PLAN B. I just don't know how Plan B is going to work going through this D.

Do you think he might be working the timeing on this just to make you worried / upset you? I think that this is a strong possibility. I suspect that this is just another power play he is using.

If he is broke and can't afford to give gifts for his children then he will likely try to blame you! Be preparred for him to spin it one of these ways: 1.) Mom said I wasn't allowed to get you anything. 2.) Mom took all my money and I have nothing to buy you gifts with now. OR 3.) He may come up with something totally off the wall!



It shouldn't matter if he is upset about it or not. These are his children. He should know better than to make them into pawns in his power games. Shame on him!

Hey WTF,
Yeah he could be using the timimg to make me upset.

As far as the money thing, well he has not even started paying CS yet, so he is going to owe me back CS as well-I'm sure he is really going to love that.

And about him knowing better to play the kids as pawns, I'm sure he could care less right now b/c it is all about him. You are right, it is a shame.

Lashelle:

What does your cheater do for a living? Does he even have the means to pay you the money he owes you and the children?


Lem

Hey Lemonman, welcome back, missed your posting.
My STBXWH is an Electrical Engineer and he also owns his own business. Between the two he makes a little over $100k/year. I have no idea what he is doing with his money besides spending it on everything but his children and the rest of his responsibities here. When we go to court, I hope the judge throws the book at him b/c he has not given me a penny since the end of August and thats a real shame.

Okay, STBXWH just called and asked if he could talk to the kids. He then said that he never said that they could not call him and I told him that I never said they could not either and said that you never call them either-you are the adult. Futhermore he has NEVER called to talk to the kids. I guess Christmas is starting to get to him.

Said that he didn't have any money (not for the kids, of course, he has money for he and OW to have fun and is probably buying gifts for her) but wanted the kids either tommorrow (if the weather is not bad) or Monday b/c he will be off of work. Said he did not know if I had bought them something for Christmas. I said you know I haven't started getting CS yet so I have no money. Said that he was trying to pay all of the bills-yeah right.

Then wanted me to drop them off over his parents, told him I had no money for gas.

Asked if he could get the baby diapers, wipes and formula said he'll see what he could do.

Just don't understand if he never has money then when he has to start paying up what is he gonna do.

Guess he did not mentioned the Counter-Petition and Counter-Motion I had filed.

Wow, sorry he is being such a bum. My WH never gave me a dime, and was constantly broke. But he and OW could afford wining and dining and trips to Hawaii. But our kids are grown.

You are just going to have to hang in there until you go to court.

By the way, I dated an electrical engineer, and he was quite set in his ways, and rather strange.

Hey Believer,

Yeah, I'm sorry for the kids. I'll hang in there till we go to court and hopefully he will get what he deserves.


Yeah they are very stubborn too <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />