Just wanted some plan B letter examples.

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Sample Plan B letters

by Spacecase ... I just bumped

Thanks
Pepperband!

What words of advice do you have?

Develop a PLAN and carry it out. No more "let's wait and see what happends" ... a PLAN is what you need.

A call to the Harley's is $$ well spent. You PLAN can be tailor-made just for you !

PS ... my main beef with the PG/OC board is there is little PLAN-building there using MB concepts and tools. Waaaaay too much discussion about OW and what she's doing ... complete waste of time and has not much relevence to marriage building. Trying to recover a marriage after infidelity ~and~ an OC without a PLAN ... is dumb.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

you asked me !

I haven't been on any board since March until recently.

I just feel bad because I had chances to do Plan B and never did.

Wh is set on a D this time though and I am making him get everything all out this time--whenever he has moved before I haven't--so he always came around for stuff.

I don't know if there is chance for it to work--he has backed out D on numerous other times--one time I even had signed the final papers and he wouldn't after it was all his idea and he is the one that pushed me into it.

I guess the Plan B letter can't hurt--it can't make it any worse.

I will try my hand at it and give it to him on Sunday when he moves the rest of his stuff out.

Is the affair alive?

No, the affair has been over since 10/2003. He moved back out after he found out she was pregnant. They have NC and paternity was just recently established by DNA. Last year about this time while we were sep. he started dating someone that actually works where I do and then that ended 3/05 and he wanted to come home and make it work and go to MC and so he moved back 4/05 and then he never followed through with MC.

Now he is singing the same tune again he isn't happy, his heart isn't in it, I don't make him happy etc.

Since he came back it has been good and bad--no affection to me other than sex--no kisses, hugs or i love you--I don't think he thinks he loves me and maybe he truly doesn't but I think it stems from the fact that he doesn't think he could love me or he wouldn't have done these things to me--that is what I think.

We need out side help--we bring the worse out in each other right now--we pick at each other and we know what buttons to push and we do--we no longer work as a team.

I'm pissed to the core that he came back and then wouldn't follow through with MC. It is one think to put me through this but to put our son through it again and again is not okay--he is almost four and this move out is really hard on him.

I personally think that my H doesn't know happiness or how to be happy. He is one of those people who is instant gratification and always gets toys and when one is borign moves onto a new one. He also told me a marriage shouldn't take this much work. We argue all the time about money--he has huge money spending problems which he tried to blame on me and now he willing admits the problem now that he is moving out and says he will get help with it. Who knows.

Wait one second--old affair not alive--maybe there is a new one.

How would I know.

BTW the day of our 10th wedding anniversary is when he told me he was done again in the evening after we had sex in the morning.

What a slap.

Do you want to work another year to try and resuscitate this marriage?

This is not a judgement on my part ... simply a question.

yes

or

no

or

I haven't got a f'ing clue

haven't got a f'ing clue truthfully

yes would be my first response but the last two years have painful and I'm in no different of a place after all this pain and stress etc.

this explains why you are planless and wandering all over ....

what would it take for you to decide to give out more effort?

and

how much do you actually see or talk to your H in the last 4 weeks?

SO far it has only been me giving the effort.

For him to agree to take this space and time to think it through.

We haven't hardly seen each other and when we do it is mostly awful because I'm so angry that he came back to do this all over again.

Now he is living at his new place so I have only seen him on Tuesday and last night when he came to get stuff.

Tuesday he said he was sorry and nearly cried. I said I think that right now we both do not know how sorry we will be and I said i'm really hurt to be where we are.

I need him our right now though--I can't contain my hurt and anger and it just causes me to Lbust.

I'm sure he has gave some effort but it sure doesn't seem like much--didn't even follow through with MC.

Well Pepperband I'm off the computer until MOnday after hour so hope to hear from you before that.

If not then Monday.

Yes, If I could do something to make it still work I would.

I just don't see how to do it by myself.

OK ... until we meet again ....

I am leaning toward Plan B

how about you?

I am leaning towards Plan B also.

I want it to work I love him unconditionally but I do also hate him for the things he has done.

Can we love and hate at the same time?

WHere are you from Pepperband?

Grapes thought I might be from Albany, New York but just from Albany, Oregon.

California ... Los Angeles ... been here since 1981 .... before that ... Santa Cruz/San Jose California

I have felt that way about my kids from time to time .... but the "hate" is actually frustration you know .... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Try not making this choice using your feelings ... but using concepts and guiding principles .... coz your feeling are so changeable