Hi, Alph, my fellow scary-day divorce filer (me Friday the 13th, you Halloween). <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

So, what is the point of him trying to intimidate me, anyway? I've been wondering about this. I understand that he is upset about his loss of control over me, but... The visitation and child support issues are settled, with court orders in place. All that's left is the division of assets and debts. We're in California, so we'll each get half, no surprises there. Although, he did say he thinks it's unfair that I get half and he doesn't want me to keep the house, even if I can buy him out.

What does he hope to accomplish by scaring me? He has what he wanted (freedom, divorce almost complete, his MOW, etc.). Is he trying to punish me? What??? My lawyer has a record of the times he has tried to physically intimidate me, in case we need to get a restraining order, but a restraining order is just a piece of paper (kind of like our marriage license was to him). <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I had a dream last night that I was walking alone in the dark and I turned around to find him standing in front of me, blocking my way, staring at me. {{{{{Shudder}}}}}

I guess there are still some things I just don't get. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

More creepy psycho stuff, about my soon-to-be-former MIL. Those of you familiar with my saga know she is a bit...um...eccentric, and she tries to intimidate me, too, but by phone.

My mom, who used to work at the same company as MIL years ago, just told me this a few days ago. My mom was in administration at the company and had access to security information. A security camera caught MIL taking a family picture off a coworker's desk when no one was around and cutting it into little pieces, leaving the pieces on the desk. Apparently, MIL had a reputation of being 'eccentric' at work.

Of course, no one tells me these things until now. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> My mom said she didn't tell me about MIL's reputation at work because she didn't think it had anything to do with WH. I was always glad that at least MIL is not genetically related to WH (or, thank God, my children), she is his stepmother. However, she is the person who raised WH and his brothers from a very young age. I guess you really do marry a person's family, not just a person.

***Scary Twilight Zone Music***

You are *well* out of that family, Pebbles. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Alph.

Very interesting experience Pebbles....but I thought halloween was last month1?!?!!?!?! LOL!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

So it seems the dork is showing the OW reasons to mistrust him? Hm.... see that LB from afar stuff I ramble about every so often? Seems t/b kicking in on your end of town.

U s/b proud. What I am worried about is the conditions the children face while there. It c/b time you go have this OW checked out and if you can prove any type of misconduct or unsafe behavior or that it having an impact on the children (psychologically), then you may have grounds to change the visitation requirements.

Just a thought.

take care,
L.

I think so, too, Alph. But...why didn't I see it before? We weren't very close to his family and didn't see them often. Maybe that's why I didn't notice.

MIL was 'high-strung,' but I didn't think she was psycho. STBX never seemed scary. He never so much as raised his voice to me, and he never physically abused me. Although, he could be verbally/mentally unkind at times (mean teasing, rude comments, cold shoulder treatment). Light bulb moment! Speaking of cold shoulder treatment...I just figured something out, he would sometimes 'punish' me by withholding affection and ignoring me. Like mother, like son. Creepy.

Thanks, Orchid. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Even though I don't want him back, I can't say I'd mind if he and the skankylosaur don't live happily ever after. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

I have spoken to my lawyer before about the environment at the lair. She told me that without proof that MOW is some sort of abuser (drugs, physical, sexual), I can't do anything about her being around the kids. Her own son doesn't live with her (lives with her husband), so she sounds like a real prize. She and STBX sound perfect for each other. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

But she's a stinky ho!

I know, I know - that's just our opinion. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I feel so sorry for your kids, Pebbles, having to experience that 'strange atmosphere' in the lair.

It's a shame there isn't some old folk remedy for scaring off OW's, isn't it? Like wearing garlic, carrying holy water, or something.

You could dose your kids liberally with garlic the day before they go over there - garlic bread, roasted garlic cloves, garlic sandwiches etc. That's certain to keep anyone at bay, even a stinky OW! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

How often does OW see her son? Have your kids met him? Just curious.

Alph.

Pebbles... always admired how much class you exude while dealing with all this Crap!!! Do take care... all these creepy stories you are telling me are giving me da shivers too.

~A

(((Pebbles))))
What a tough situation for the kids. They won't be looking forward to going to see "dad". I was reading your post and it kind of reminded me of the weird sci-fi movie "The Fly" where Jeff Goldbloom eventually morphs into a human fly...not in a cool way like spiderman. I almost feel sorry for him. It sounds like lala land is ****** and when he wakes up from the wreckage he will realize he lost the best thing that ever happened to him...it is already too late. Maybe he will morph back into a human someday...I only wish that for your kids. I'd hate to see them visiting with the "fly". <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Just a thought,

If MOW and MOW's husband or STBXH have a legal divorce/custody file that file may contain information about OW being an unfit parent. It may contain revealing information about OW that could assist you. It should be public information available at the courthouse under their name unless they sealed the file.

Mr. Wondering

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Thanks, Alph.

I'm thinking of letting the kids stay up really late, then loading them up with donuts, Red Bull, and chocolate before I send them over to the lair (where's the evil grin smiley?). Nothing like two angry kids hyped up on sugar and bouncing off the walls to put a damper on the happy little family fantasy, LOL.

I'm not sure. A long time ago, STBX mentioned that she sees him 'every so often.' My kids have never mentioned meeting him. I would think they would tell me, but who knows? He is six months older than my son. I feel bad for him, just as I do for my own kids, poor baby.

Thank you, Ashley. What a nice thing to say. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> My momma raised me to be a lady, and God knows I'm trying (although I must admit to occasional fantasies of doing a WWF Smackdown over at the lair, LOL).

Hi, confused. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I remember that movie! I can see the similarities between it and STBX's transformation. It's uncanny. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

I do feel sorry for my kids (and her son). They are innocent victims in all of this. I just hope I can do enough to counteract the weirdness they get over there with as close to a normal life as possible with me. They don't get showered with gifts when they're with me, and I have rules and chores for them here, but we do talk and laugh a lot. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hi, Mr. Wondering. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Interestingly enough, MOW and her husband have not yet filed for divorce, according to my lawyer's assistant, who kindly checks for me (for free <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />) from time to time. I don't know where her husband fits into all of this. When I spoke to him, he didn't really seem to care that his wife was cheating. He told me it wasn't the first time and he had no idea what she was up to.

Looks like The Fly is going to end up divorced with a married, serial-cheating girlfriend (shrug).

Oh, I saw in my caller ID log that MIL tried to call me yesterday. She didn't leave a message. Do you think she wants to invite me to Thanksgiving dinner? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Speaking of fantasies...

Yesterday I did yardwork and repairs around the house (my inexpert version of them, anyway). I was wearing STBX's (correction - MY!) tool belt (with actual tools!) and safety glasses and used his (I mean MY!) chainsaw to cut off a broken tree limb. Just let somebody try to intimidate me while I'm doing that!! It would be especially scary for a potential intimidator because the chainsaw is heavy and wiggly and I have a hard time controlling where it cuts, LOL. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

And...I'm touching ALL the tools!! Bwaahaahaahaa!! Well, except for the radial table saw. I'm keeping extra cat food and toilet paper on that. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Wow! The woman's ultimate declaration of independence, freedom, and complete authority. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> I salute you. Neak would, too, if she were in a saluting mood.

t&l

Thanks, T&L. I hope Neak is feeling better. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I contacted STBX by email today, the first time I've ever emailed him. I wanted to arrange pick-up and drop-off times for the kids for my trip out of town this weekend, and for the upcoming holidays. From the message DS relayed to me from his dad, I could tell STBX had no clue about what the court ordered for holiday visitations. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> And...so much for not using the kids as intermediaries, STBX. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I tried to email him at his affair email address, that I found out by snooping. It was a his and hers email address made up of their first names (gag). I found out that email is no longer in service. Hmmmm. I asked DS if he knew his dad's email address. STBX's new email address is his name alone.

I wonder if MOW's parents made her cancel that address; it was a subaccount of their ISP. Perhaps they didn't like footing the bill for their married daughter and her married lover, after I let them know what was going on. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Or, maybe STBX needs his own private email for some reason. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

He was quite civil in his reply to me, almost...friendly. Maybe his hunt-and-peck typing method limits his ability to think of things to say to try to intimidate me. All in all, it was much better than trying to speak to him on the phone or in person. Besides, I can always make copies of emails for my lawyer. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

And poor STBX <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />, it seems he has no plans for Thanksgiving. Apparently, according to DS, he will be all alone in the lair after I pick up the kids early that afternoon.

Not much of an update, but it's all I've got. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

I really love this post, Pepples.
I think I'm going to use you as my role model of the day!

Hi, Pebbles.

Quote:
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And poor STBX , it seems he has no plans for Thanksgiving. Apparently, according to DS, he will be all alone in the lair after I pick up the kids early that afternoon.
==========================================

Here is an idea for you. Drop off a really top notch thanksgiving plate and deserts when you pick up the kids. No reason not to turn up his "look at what I am missing" heater. Also make sure that you use non-disposable plates so that they will be there for other woman to discover. No reason not to have a bit of fun <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I am glad that you have touched all his tools and even used some of them. Feels good doesn't it?

God bless,
Gimble

Gimble, that is a GREAT idea...out of love...let him know you are still there...in the warm, cozy HOME, doing warm, cozy, holiday HOME-things without him...