Well ... has your wife been sneaking up on you lately?

What's going on?

bump up ^^^^^

Pep,

As suddenly as she showed up , she has again vanished. She has been adamant in her assessment of what property values are but when faced with a looming court date(November 17), she finally had made some progress off the fence and she agreed to sell everything(my choice from the beginning).

One week after, I got a letter from my attorney that my court date had been pushed back to May 11 2006...yes 2006. I was so angry, I could have spit nickels but when I called his office to find out what idiot had loosened the chain, I could not get past his secretary. Now this is a very nice, sweet young lady but I almost blew a gasket when she relayed the message from her boss that it was decided that the May date would give both of us a chance to finish the sales of our homes and office buildings.

Since then .....surprise... she has done nothing to sell our home that she is living in. I haven't gotten any contracts from the agreed upon real estate agent. She says one thing at our mediation meetings but when it comes down to having to move out of our cushy home and experience a smidgen of a life displaced from familiar surroundings, she does nothing.

November 8th is my wedding anniversary. It still hurts but the pain is loads smaller than what I felt one year ago.

Plan B does work. I am living proof.

thanks for the update....

YOU are a very important MBer ...

Pep,

Why thanks. I have been questioning some of my posts, hoping that I was not being overtly biased by my personal situation. I try not to post flippantly but when I do it is usually with the purpose of waking someone up ( mainly the BS).

I am not here as much as I was, who can be???? I am really using my impending bachelorhood to do some of the things I never thought possible as a man married to a woman with severe RA.

There is a great deal of peace and tranquility in not having to answer to another soul once I get out of my office and leave my patients behind.

But if there is anything that these past 20 months in Plan B have taught me , it is that I was a d*mn good husband.

Cymanca...I am sorry to hear about the delay...it must have felt like a setback. I hope it goes more smoothly after this..but something tells me that there may be more bumps in the road.

I am glad that you have come to that relevation about your "good husband-liness" and you are at peace. At the end of the day....I hope that all BS's can come to this kind of peace after the trajedy and move on to the next chapter of their lives as whole human beings....

SS,

AS always, thanks for your very kind words. I, too, have the same hopes for all the BS's out there.

If I could magically change one thing on these forums, it would be to convince each and every BS to believe that the only loser in this craziness is the WS.

Bwhaaaaaaaaaaa <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

"if you can smell horseapples ... tasting them to prove their existence is repugnant"

..... [color:"yellow"] GOLDEN [/color]

Pep,

I'm glad someone liked my attempt at humor. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

BTW: Coming home last night on my caller ID , my WW made two attempts to call but did not leave any messages. Maybe it was to wish me a happy anniversary. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

she is strange .... that's for sure

Pep,

She was probably just angry over me forwarding a real estate tax bill to her last week. It's part of my living by Noodle's doctrine found in my sig line.

BTW has anyone seen Noodle????

Hi Cy,

Glad to see you are still around.How is your Mom these days?

I haven't seen noodle since we had the "changeover" from the old board to new.Sad to say.Hope she is ok.I always enjoyed her insights.

My 15 year anniversary was last month but I enjoyed the day with my girls and had a nice dinner together.Do something nice for yourself today <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

O

10Girl,

So glad to hear from you. Mom is status quo. I will be visiting Thanksgiving week and I will push hard to get her out to SoCal with me. I know she won't come but I have to try.

Today's is my 8th and like I said above, it hurts but a whole lot less than a year ago.

You have 2 girls right? What are their ages? How are they reacting to your nightmare?

Cy,

My girls are 11 and almost 14(December B-day like me).They are my precious darlings.So beautiful,smart and hearts of gold.I am truly blessed to have them in my life.They are doing well despite everything I think due to the fact that we haven't had many other changes in our lives(which I fought/fight for) such as moving,losing our beloved home,starting over in a new school,etc.

I also made it my mission to be the most stable and supportive Mom I could be despite all the pain I was in.But it's been rough mostly for my youngest.She really misses my WH but less so I have noticed in the last few months.It's sad to me since we were always such a close knit family and very loving.Time will tell how badly they have been scarred.One major goal I have to make sure they don't hate all boys/men and have the utmost respect for themselves and also how to make good choices that don't hurt other's.

In any event,we have a wonderful home life.We have family dinners still( with my Mom too),listen to classical music at night,do puzzles together,bake,read,talk.All very calm and peaceful.I am determined to see that my girls will thrive as much as they can, no matter what.

I am in a much better place too then I was 2 years ago.Much better but it can still be sad sometimes.I hope you aren't hurting too much today and did something fun for yourself.

Anyway,I do hope you enjoy time with your Mom on Thanksgiving.I'm sure she knows what a good son you are.

See you 'round the board

O

10Girl,

I am always a bit angry when people come up to me and say the usual"at least you didn't have children" because from my side of the coin I will always wonder if that would have kept us together. This may sound funny but I envy you your children and the strength they are giving you. At times when I am alone, I still get visits from the demons under the bed. I like to call them the "What If" devils.

I just got off the phone talking to my sister on speakerphone so my mom could hear my voice. My sister said that my mom always looks so happy when we can communicate this way as opposed to emails. She is looking forward to seeing me for Thanksgiving. Unfortunately she also has loads of questions as to what is happening with my STBXW. Mrs. Cymanca would always tell her how much closer she felt to my mom than to her own mom. It was a source of pride with mom. She has always been afraid that the wrong thing said or something done inadvertently could have been misconstrued by WW and her family. I laughingly reminded her how she was intimidated by my WW's parents when I told her we were getting married. My FIL was a Vice President of a local college and my MIL was head counselor at our school district.

Well I have to go. First weeks of the month and all the hospital meeting beckon.

Take care and give the girls a kiss for me.

Cy,

I don't blame you for being upset at comments like what was said to you.It's like telling a woman that she can have another baby right after miscarrying.People think they are being helpful but it's really just being insensitive.

Having children was such a wonderful experience for me and I am sorry that your WW robbed you of that experience as well as many other things.It's not too late for you though.But with that said,having children and going through Infidelity and now D has it's own set of problems.It's not easy either way.

I am sure you will handle Thanksgiving with your Mom and all her questions just fine.You sound strong and I am sure you have just the right finesse to manuever those waters.

Good luck with your meetings and I did kiss the girls and said it was from a friend and they smiled.Thank you for that gesture.I was touched.

Night~