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I would love to call the OM and let him know that I know where he lives, and all but dare him to come within a whisper of my wife again or else.
My secret desire would be to take a baseball bat and place it against his head, but I loose on that one and go to jail.
Regarding the verbal though, do I loose, do I accomplish anything?
Thoughts anyone?
BS (Me) 43
WW or FWW 40
2 DS's 16 and 13
Married 21 Years
D-day 9/10/2005
Exposure 9/11/2005
False NC 9/11/2005
Discovery of Contact 12/23/2005
NC (Letter written Jan 2006)
Divorce Petition Filed Jan 2006
In a holding pattern.
Me Still Handing in there
Phil 4:13
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Man, that's tough, Waiting. I think we all have thoughts like that. Nothing wrong with having fantasies of revenge, as long as you don't actually act on them, of course!
(Formerly SadMommy05)
BS, 29 (me)
XH, 27
DD, 1
M, 2001 high school sweethearts
OW, 36, divorcee, "we have a friendship people can't understand"
WH left out of the blue 9/5/2005
I filed 11/1/2005 D finalized 6/20/06 
XH and OW married 1/6/07. Ugh!
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Waiting:
Is the OM married? Imagine his wife thinking the same thing about your cheating wife and wanting to take a baseball bat to her head. Chilling isn't it? You have to put it into perspective. Your feelings about this are 100% normal, but you have to be able to understand that those "feelings" won't ever let you heal. The OM can't ever give you what you want.
Take it from me, I got to slice the OM's stomach open and leave him with a scar that he will have forever to remind him of me......that incidentally never help me "heal".
Lem
Some people just don't get it, they don't get it that they don't get it.
I had the right to remain silent.......but I didn't have the ability.
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Ohhh.. lem! That is awesome!
Did you do a good close?
I want to k now that.
As for me, I'd love to invite all xh's owomen over for a stint of "coffee and cookies"...I'd bake them some "special" brownies...complete with xlax!
Since they made my stomach churn for so many months...I think it is only fair I'd do the same to them. I had this little fantasy...and it was fun!
Sad part, is I actually knew a girl in high school who did this to our high school football team. She got dumped really hard by the captain...gave them brownies in home room..by pep rally time, they were squirming and running...
me:37 BS; s:7;
xh:38; OW:26;eloped w/OW 1 wk after D: 12/29/03. OC born 3/17/04. Happy! Blessed to be the mother of a wonderful son..great profession..Life's good!
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Dr. Lemonman probably left a sponge in him! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I thought of a baseball bat upside his head, but again I know it was mostly my wife that started it. She could of stoped it at anytime to. Right now I have no feelings for the man, as for my wife she hates his butt and he hates her to <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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Darn sponges...
But
...(seinfeld -ism coming here...
was he
SPONGE=WORTHY?????
LMAO!
me:37 BS; s:7;
xh:38; OW:26;eloped w/OW 1 wk after D: 12/29/03. OC born 3/17/04. Happy! Blessed to be the mother of a wonderful son..great profession..Life's good!
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Dr. Lemonman probably left a sponge in him! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> Lane: NOPE...........NOT ME NEVER...............Sponges are my obsession in the OR. That night, we used an awful lot of them also. BY the way, Lane.........I had to "run" that man's bowel than night, I wish you could have been my 1st assist. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Lem <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Some people just don't get it, they don't get it that they don't get it.
I had the right to remain silent.......but I didn't have the ability.
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OMG! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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[dear Lord, I hope I never ever find out what it means to "run that man's bowels!" I don't wanna know! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />]
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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K, this "running of the bowels" was a little more than I bargained for this early in the morning. Absolutely yuck. About ruined my breakfast. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />
Lem, I think your advice of seeing the other perspective is a good one. I KNEW what OWH wanted to do to my H, and he probably could have ruined H's life far better than any baseball bat would have if he'd pursued a court martial. It kept my thoughts (and those ridiculous dreams about pounding her head flat--amazing what one thinks while one is effectively unconscious!) in check. It also helped me to consider what ANY action I took against her would do to her children. I have far too much love for her kids to do any more damage to them.
It isn't just betrayed HUSBANDS who have these thoughts, guys. And yes, there are TWO players in every affair.
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Thanks Lemonman,
The OM is not married. Divorced a couple of years. Go figure. I guess what I really would like to do is not take revenge. Well that is not true. My fantasy would be to do the baseball bat thing but I am way past actually doing that. Just a sick fantasy. I really try not to think about it much.
The practical side though wants to send him a message to say, back off and stay away or I may come around.
I know I think BobPure gave a pretty good verbal assault to the OM in their sitch. I could be wrong on who, but I thought I remember a comment like that.
Anyway, do I accomplish anything or is it a total waste of my time?
BS (Me) 43
WW or FWW 40
2 DS's 16 and 13
Married 21 Years
D-day 9/10/2005
Exposure 9/11/2005
False NC 9/11/2005
Discovery of Contact 12/23/2005
NC (Letter written Jan 2006)
Divorce Petition Filed Jan 2006
In a holding pattern.
Me Still Handing in there
Phil 4:13
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The odds are pretty high that any conversation you have with OM is going to be wasted air. Remember the posts about how strong 'illicit' things are...and how there is a chemical condition in the brain that causes things that are 'forbidden' to generate more of the endorphins and such in the brain? Well, figure he's just as 'in the fog' as your wife is...I know that OM in my case was...I tried talking some sense to him too, and it was a waste of time.
As far as wanting to do the OM harm...all of us struggle with that. I had my fantasies too...and as I'd mentioned, I had no doubt that had I chosen to act on them, it would have been quick, clean, and unavoidable. THAT is why my wife was soooo scared for OM on d-day when she thought that I was going to go after him...he blew it off, but she knew better.
Just hang in there friend.
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