My H is so upset. OW told H the other day that she wants to move with OC to where her extended family is (800 miles) away. I predicted this, but not so soon, OC will only be a year old when she wants to move. She has sole custody (lawyer said we didn't have a chance at joint custody w/OC being so young, so we didn't fight it). Is there anything we can do? Can we ask for any stipulations if she does move? I know if she goes through courts in the other state our CS will go up and it's unlikely that we'll have any visitation unless we go there as OC is too young for extended visits. If anyone has anything they can share concerning this, it would be appreciated. Yes, I'm mad at OW. It's been all about HER since the very beginning and what she wants. She decided to have this child and involve my family and now becasue she's lonely and this isn't going how she planned I guess, she wants out. I would be understanding to her plight if OC were older, when we could have extended holiday vacations, but now she's just going to pull her out of our lives because she's uncomfortable. grrrr. Anyone know how CS is calculated in NY? Or how the courts deal with interstate CS calculations? If there's anything I should think about or know please help. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

My H and I investigated the interstate CS laws. They are somewhat comlicated, but you can google it and you will find all the info you need. If OW moves to another state, she cannot refile for CS modification in the new state, if you still live in the old state where the order was origianlly filed. The old state still has jurisdiction over the case. If she moves to another state, she can only modify CS on "your turf".......I guess to keep people from moving from state to state and refiling every time, when you are in the same place. Anyway, she will only get what she is getting now. If she wants to re-open the case, it will have to be in NY.

Our OW claimed she was moving from TX to CA (where we lived) to make sure OC was involved with H (we are N/C) and to get more CS. It might have been just because she was angry that she had to move on with her life. Did I mention she was the victim in all this?

But it was a wake up call to me. It did not occur to me that once we finalized CS that at any time, she could move to CA and refile and get tons more money (plus live near us!). H and I had been talking about moving anyway, so we moved! We now live in Idaho and love it.

Why did you attorney say you could not get joint custody because OC is so young? Your H is the DAD, isn't he? How can he not be able to have joint custody, if he want it. I think you need to check with another attorney. We had several bad experiences with family lawyers. Not to offend anyone, but they are not generally the sharpest attorneys out there. Get another opinion. How could that be?? He can PAY, but he can't be a PARENT?

Good luck, Coldday!

i agree with LBelle that it does seem odd that your lawyer told you you couldnt have joint custody because the oc was too young. Do you think he meant joint physical custody as in the baby splitting time 50/50 between your house and the xow's? if so, you probably wouldnt have gotten that but there shouldnt have been anything stopping you getting a joint custody order which would have given your h a real say on issues like this.

if i was you i would go find myself another lawyer fast and see if you can get an injunction on her moving until you have have the cusotdy issue reheard by a judge.

so sorry you are having to go through this.

hugs

carolyn

Hi,
i agree, funny the lawyer told you not to fight it. I would look up the laws in your state. Most states want fathers involved and joint custody is a giving. I would find a different lawyer. I know when we moved out of state with my mom we had to get my father's permission. Otherwise, my dad would have had custody of us. A lot states have laws pertaining when a perent moves out of state. Do you get to see OC at all? Vistation should have been set up? Unless, you guys want NC. I found all the laws for state right on the internet. What state are you in again?

Dawn

Thanks for th einfo. It makes me feel better from what LBelle said about CS. I think that sounds about right.

I think we live in a backward state. In this state there is no specification of physical or legal joint custody, which for a custodial parent offers up all kinds of nightmares, so she would not consent. We made our wishes clear to her, only wanting to have a "say" in OC's life, but she wouldn't budge. Also, our state has provisions for the "tender years", being the first 2 years of child's life and seeing as she's breastfeeding, we didn't try for overnight visitation.

My H did talk to a lawyer (we will definitely get a different one next time!) recently and he made it sound like if she did move w/o consent or a "justifiable" reason it could be a jailable offense as she would be breaking the agreement of allowing visitaion.

I am convinced now that she totally didn't think any of this through. My friend and I were talking like "if we were in her shoes" while she was pregnant and we both predicted this move and that she wouldn't at all be comfortable with having to deal with our family so much. Mind you, it's all very cordial, but you know...how comfortable can it really be for her.

She told H that IF she did move, she would not expect CS. Well, SOORY honey, but since you dragged us to court to try to get any penny you could, we have no choice and now you're stuck too! Clueless was our name for her, I think it still fits. No offense to any other OW out there, I just think our OW has only looked out for herself and her "plan" may not be turning out quite the way she thought it would. Honestly, I think she thought H would walk away and write her a check every month and she could do as she pleases. Oh well, I'm beginning to think we do have a leg to stand on.
Thanks all!

One of the first things I would do is go to court and get a temporary order preventing her from moving. In my case OW cannot remove child from the state until a new agreement is filed with the court. She has been having to fly here for visitation.

H and I are dealing with this but OC is 4 and H has joint legal and physical custody. The OW tried to move with OC but the court denied her request. She has a long history of denying visitation and it's written in black and white that if one moved the other would get custody.

There is one thing I recommend that your home state always maintains jurisdiction over custody and child support. Of course get the opinion of another lawyer. One who will fight for you. Good luck! I know how stressful and scary this can be.

I know first hand specifically about NY, CS and interstate issues.

Family court, always changes the venue to the residency state of the child, not the parent. So even if initial orders were issued elsewhere, the file is transfered to the state of residence.

As to CS calculations, NY uses a combined income ratio. They combine both parents income, pop it into a percentage and that's what it comes out to be. In NY it's anywhere between 17 and 23% of the COMBINED incomes.

ew, well that doesn't make me feel very good. So, H pays 17 - 23% of combined income, no matter who makes more? What aboutother children? Do they take them into account at all? Do they figure MY income into anything? What about medical ins. and day care, how does that figure in? I would appreciate it if you had any more info.

OK, I got this off the net. This is article II and what it says to me is that unless one of these conditions is true, which in our case, they are not. OW cannot just move wherever she wants and whever she wants and continually switch jurisdictions because she happens to have custody of the child and the child now has a new residence. To me, it sounds like we can contest it and she would have to come back here to modify an existing order. Anyone? And I think what New Jersey must be saying is H pays his percentage of combined income, like he pays 50% of the 17% if they make the same amount of money. I can't believe she means that if OW makes $100,000 and H makes $20,000 then H pays 17% of $120,000 combined, (which would be $20,400 a year). If that iS it, I'm going underground <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> I still want to know how they figure the other factors in though. Anyway, I from my other post, I already know I'm going to be doing this research on my own and then finding a lawyer and telling him/her what to do. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

UNIFORM INTERSTATE FAMILY SUPPORT ACT (1996)

SECTION 201. BASES FOR JURISDICTION OVER NONRESIDENT. In a proceeding to establish, enforce, or modify a support order or to determine parentage, a tribunal of this State may exercise personal jurisdiction over a nonresident individual [or the individual's guardian or conservator] if:




(1) the individual is personally served with [citation, summons, notice] within this State;




(2) the individual submits to the jurisdiction of this State by consent, by entering a general appearance, or by filing a responsive document having the effect of waiving any contest to personal jurisdiction;




(3) the individual resided with the child in this State;




(4) the individual resided in this State and provided prenatal expenses or support for the child;




(5) the child resides in this State as a result of the acts or directives of the individual;




(6) the individual engaged in sexual intercourse in this State and the child may have been conceived by that act of intercourse;




[(7) the individual asserted parentage in the [putative father registry] maintained in this State by the [appropriate agency]; or




(8) there is any other basis consistent with the constitutions of this State and the United States for the exercise of personal jurisdiction.

Here is information specific to New York State...
also you can find it on the net. But I do have a CS order interstate between NY and NJ.

There is a specific set of laws for "interstate child support modification" of CS orders. It applies to all states. I will look for it. You need to ask your attorney, but I found it on line. It can't be specific to each state because it will be interstate issues.

I looked it up. Get on the computer and look for the Uniform Interstate Family Support Act or ask your attorney. Each state follows the guidelines. I previously found a website that really described what this all means and it was a military legal advice website. I am sure they deal the the interstate CS issue all the time.

There are specific criteria for how state jurisdiction can be changed or retained. I don't believe jurisdication just moves from state to state where ever the child moves, if one of the parents remains in the original state.

Do you already have a finalized CS order? A new case can't be opened until the original one is finished, unless both parties have moved to the same state or they agree. Something like that. It is complicated, but not unreadable.

Good luck.

Sorry! I just read your post more closely. You have the act that I was speaking of.

Child support cases can be refiled every 6 months.

You must reside in your "new state" for six months, for the "new state" to become the child's resident state.


The custodial parent is the one that determines the home state.

Is there a current visitation order in place?

Child support orders are never final, as I said, they can be refiled, and reevaluated every six months.

In New York, it is however based on the combined income of both custodial parent and non-custodial parent.

My xH attorney called me personally to "negotiate" a fair amount of child support for my two kids. Based on the fact that I had a much higher income than my xH. Legally I could negotiate it..and I did. I actually only get HALF of what I'm legally entitled to, until both my children reach the age of 21. I wasn't out to take him for all I could, I just wanted him to pay his share. I didn't get a child support order until my kids were in their teens. Prior to that, it just wasn't worth the nightmare with him. I didn't ask for it or fight for it. I've been getting it now for about 3 years, and I get $300 a month.

Incidentally, my kids were both born in New York, I've moved them once to Atlanta for about 4 years, and we've lived in New Jersey for the past 8 years.

All I ever had to do to establish residency was provide, school records, pediatrician name, number, place of employment, driver's license.

I'm not trying to rain on anyone's day, I'm just familiar with the NY laws.

Visitation is going to be the key factor right now. If there's a standing order, the judge may rule that the noncustodial parent has to incur the expense of making sure visitation can take place. i.e. I had to make sure my kids got to spend the summer with their dad....either by way of plane, or me driving them up there, and picking them up.

OK, I hear ya'll. But NewJersey, as far as modifying the existing court order for child support, I'm thinking Federal Law overrides NY Law and Federal Law says she has to make any modifications to the existing order here, where it was originated, as long as we protest it. Further the NY Law says something about the non-custodial parent paying the pro-rata portion of the 17% calculation for one child. I think most if not all states use a combined income to deteremine support, but that doesn't mean that the non-custodial parent pays 17% of that no matter what. That makes no sense. I believe Pro-rata means (your portion of). I appreciate your input on NY Law, my H's oldest DD lives in NY and dates a young man with a child from previous relationship, we know how bad it is there, I just think it's not exactly how you're interpreting it.

Anyway, I think she can pretty much move anywhere she wants with maybe a stipulation from judge here or there. I think H is ready to put her in jail if he can if she tries. I'm just along for the ride:-). There is a standing visitation order that would be impossible to maintain 800 miles away, so that may give us some negotiating room and she will have to take a major increase in pay (to deal with increase in cost-of-living), and will likely make more than we do if she moves, so I'm hoping CS won't go up too much if/when it gets modified.

Thanks all!

CS is tricky stuff. I've always been one to believe that it's unfair for some people. I have one friend in Georgia, his xW went to court annually because of his annual pay increase to get her CS amended. The poor guy was paying a really high rate to begin with. He no longer looked for annual raises, because he knew the x would get it anyway.

He actually just left me a message a few weeks ago to let me know he filed himself to have to stop paying, and he won. His son reached 18, and dropped out of his senior year. What a relief to him.

I think your key here will be visitation..make sure he keeps all his visits. His argument being, with OC being so young, he can lose his bonding with her her, due to change in visitation...I think an attorney can really do something with that approach.

Hi,
Did you try finding a different lawyer? What about calling CS agency in your county and asking what to do? I would go down to the court and file an emerency order.

Dawn

In my court papers it states the jurisdiction stays in my county that we live in. I took that if I move it still stays there. Hmmmmmmmmm. Not that I plan on moving this is my home.

If you have joint custody she has to have a good reason to move. As in her support system is where she is moving as in her FAMILY. Something major.

At one point with stbxh I had to go through this because I though I was going to have to move for awhile to take care of my parents through a illness. And I would have been granted the move even if they were not sick but because my whole family was there and stbxh and I would have to split the cost of travel expenses. daycare, medical would all stay the same.

If you have joint custody there is something you can do. If she has sole and legal custody well, you may want to have it changed. Just because she is a new born, the visation schedule is already set up. That won't change, but you will have more of a say in what she does.

NOW on xmm's paperwork (we have nc) tried to have that same clause that I have to get his permission to move out of state (Uh yeah right)when we did our modifacation I insisted it was taken out as he had nc and had no right to keep me anywhere. So it was taken out and all it says now is that within 30 days of moving out of state or county I have to give him my address. So I would find a new attorney and just see what your options are. If you guys are in visation there has to be something you can do since it's just a move cause she is not comfortable there. Oh well. There are few and far between fathers that want contact and she should feel happy even if she does feel a bit uncomfortable that her child has his/her father.