JL, 10S and JM, you responded to a thread I started a few weeks ago, and gave me some very good advice, for which I thank you. I wound up deleting all my posts in a frenzy one night and I wanted to explain why.

I found out after I posted that my H had been communicating with the OM via email - posing as me! He did this because he wanted to get the OM over here for a revenge act. It almost worked. I am quite sure that the fact that my H couldn't call him on the phone (you can impersonate someone in email, but phone .... no way) was the reason the OM cancelled. According to my H, in every email he gave all his phone #s.

My H showed me the emails, but I wouldn't open them, and my H closed the account. I didn't want to read anything the OM had written - I had gone NC on the OM YEARS ago because I couldn't stand what I was doing any longer. For some reason, in the emails, my husband said he mentioned this site. That freaked me out. No way did I want the OM to recognize my story and have an insight into my life. Bad enough he thought that "I" still wanted to see him.

I wrote the OM a one sentence email telling him that I was NOT the one who had been communicating with him, it had been my H. I didn't even sign the email. I couldn't stand the thought that the OM thought I wanted to see him again. It made me sick. My H and I had a terrible weekend; I hit rock bottom. The OM responded to my email asking me to call him and giving his phone #. I showed the email to my H and of course I have not called.

I remembered Jimmy Mac's suggestion to "reload" and find another MC. (Our first MC should have billed herself as a Divorce Counsellor) I did, but began IC with her as did my H. We each go weekly. She is a good counsellor.

My H was very apologetic about lying to me, he didn't like having a secret from me all this time, and said he no longer had a need for revenge. That was why he told me what he had been doing. He said that he felt certifiably insane for a couple of months after I told him about the A. The first MC did not help matters.

So we are still recovering, and are now *both* fully committed to the process. I have decided to post again, because I need the support.