After ww involved in her affair 4 months ago, ww lost all of affection towards me.

Recently she has showed that she would like me to SF with her although she is not able to show her affection and she is not able to initiate it.( before ww' affair, she is able to initiate it)

so my question is :



Should i SF with her even before WW is able to show her
determination in working our marriage?
i was confused!
thank you for your advice!

Hello,

First thing is to make sure that the both of you have been checked for STD's. Are you sure that the affair is over? Did you expose her affair and expose to the OM's wife or girlfriend. Did you have her send a no contact letter? Are you in counseling? Did she give you reasons why she disrespected you and your marriage this way? Does she show remorse?

From your message it sounds like either she really wants to start connecting with you or just needs your body parts because she is horny. What is it that you really want and do you believe you can trust her not to do this again? Why was she willing to risk the marriage this way? Was this an exit affair or did she believe she could be a cakewoman and if caught you would forgive her anyway? Did she confess and show remorse or was she simply caught? Does she feel bad because of what she has done or simply feel bad because she was caught and had to end the affair? You need to delve deeply into these issues.

Yes, absolutely you should. If she's open to it, this is an opportunity for you to show her love and acceptance.

She may think you are disgusted with her. Here's your chance to show her otherwise.

From very recent personal experience, one of my WW compaints was that SF had, historically, always been on 'my terms'. I was was unaware of this and had always gone to great lengths to ensure her personal fulfilment as well on each occasion, so it also came as a bit of a surprise.

My point is that since that revelation I now initiate with a nice long back rub and then enquire as to whether she wishes to take it further, if she says no then it is a no, if she says yes then I can proceed. This has lead to much more enjoyable SF and even though WW still professes confusion I believe it allows her to show some affection toward me as I am meeting her need for attention with gentle caresses, admiration - by ensuring I compliment how much I love her body and SF itself if we get that far. It's also a lot of fun for me. Which is nice.


My WW has not made any final commitment to the marriage as yet but I feel that as we both understand that it is part of a release as well as enjoyable and that we are, indeed, man and wife and adults, then why should there not be SF. And if it brings great pleasure then all the better. Yet another great memory for her to recall.

I think it's a personal decision pinetree and I agree that you MUST both be tested for STD's first before you engage.

You also should keep in mind the emotional aspects to this in that,you may end up being hurt.Having sex with your WW while she is doing the same with some OM can be painful.On one hand,you may want to show her you are not disgusted with her,as LO said but maybe you are and having SF will not be possible for you.

Personally,I just could not do it if there was no committment to the marriage.I find it morally,emotionally and spiritually degrading to be having sex with my own husband when he was out boinking someone else(dont know if your WW is).puke.Again,it's a personal decision.

In my view it's a gift and one that should not be taken for granted.There are other means with which to encourage closeness with your WS than something of that personal nature.

O