I went away for 10 ten days to vistit my parents, my oldest daughter called me at the last day and told me that a friend of ours (friends for 8 years, the whole family always came over to hang out, eat whatever send my husband a picture of her boobs and asked him how he would like to have them( at 12 am since her husband is in a band and plays almost every weekend).Well my daughter kept making remarks before about how she didn't like her and why she always txt Das. I kept saying she was just a friend don't worry about it.

Stupid me, considering that her husband was already jeaulous, and my husband kept saying he didn't know why and swore in my face there was no attraction, I had always trusted him. We have a disabled child and she was always sooooooooooooo helpful, My husband would suggest for me to go out with her and the couple times I did it was strange. I guess she had a better time with me when we all where together, who knows.

Anyway, when I came home my husband confessed to talking to her a lot, but no attraction. Kissing her twice, no french kissing, coldn't exactly remember when or where, haha, well after telling him I didn't believe he couldn't remember he at least told me where, but still no exact dates because it wasn't "important" kisses for him and supposably they knew it was wrong they didn't want that or hurt OH or me. Yeah. Well my idea of a lot was when she called and txt at night, especially when she had to be at the bar. Then I found out they where talking during the day, she would call before he went to work, he would call on break time, she would call lunchtime, on the way home from work, blahblahblah.

He didn't tell me that though I saw that on the phonebills and asked him why he didn't confess to that. What I don't ask the right question so he still doesn't tell me everything. So he broke up contact after the boob picture since my daughter called her and confronted her and her husband called my husband, I guess she had to tell him something and treatened him, gave him a piece of his mind.

It has been 2 month and I still don't feel any better. My husband keeps saying it was a mistake he didn't want anything but talk to her since he felt he couldn't talk to me anymore.

Well what bothers me is the fact that he could talk to her for hours and at times when he is sound asleep with me here, even now. 1 am in the morning, he would be awfully miserable with us, but he talked to her. About what?

Supposably her sex life in highschool, he calls that the intimacy they had. I bet if I talk about my sexlife before him he would flipp. He also wasn't going to stop after that picture, even though he didn't want any physical stuff. He was going to tell her what were you doing this is going to get us in trouble. Just like after the 2 kisses, since they knew it was wrong. But basically if this wouldn't have happened she would still be "our friend".

I used to work mostly at night now I work during the day. I asked when he thought it would stop, he said probably when I was home at night? Really, they talked during the day, I really can't talk during the day, because I work and can't, unlike her, get personal phonecalls while I work. I told him unlike her I can't get payed while I have an affair, while at work.

At first that shoked him, because like most men no sex no affair. But I got my point across there. As far as I know there hasn't been any contact and he says it was a mistake, he has no interesst in ever talking to her again. Well my biggest problem know I guess is me.

I wake up in the middle of the night "hearing" his phone ring, having dreams about them kissing, not trusting him to go anywhere alone, which isn't like me at all. Who am I now? and if I have to work at night forget it I worry the whole time I am there.

I told him that she must have been ready to take this a step farther or why would she send a picture like that, with a message like that? Which makes me wonder if she really gave up or is just waiting for another oppurtunity.

there where so many thing over the last 9 mmonth that were said that make me wonder now, why I didn't question some of the remarks she made, I just thought she was a good friend to us.

My daughter didn't know how to tell me about all the : miss you, love you txt that went on. She was really torn up for a while.

My H is trying to make this right, I want to know more details, he wont give them, he wants to move on. How can I move on? I am one of those people that want to know why, what , how. another thing I keep asking him is , why were you afraid I would kick you out, if it was so "innocent"

. He told his family, he told some of his friends because he needed to talk to someone. Well know I am uncomftable around them.

Also I so wish to confront her and tell her what I think of her, my daughter knows what went on, why does she get to tell her children whatever she wants?

She told my daughter at first that the pic was a joke, great cover up. She didn't realize how often she checked her dad's phone.

Hello,
Welcome to MB. It is the best place to be when you have to be somwhere like this.

You might go back and edit your post. Please break it down into paragrpahs using the enter key to give some space between the paragraphs. It just makes it so much easier for use to read.

You are doing the right thing by posting to get information. After you edit, read some of the articles here in surviving infidelity.

There'll be others by to post.
p

Hello,
I didn't want you to think I was brushing you off with the previous post. I read through your post.

Have you read His Needs/Her Needs or Surviving an Affair? If you have to choose, get Surving and Affair. If your husband will read it, that would be a good thing as well.

Counseling would be a good thing. Counseling with the Harleys comes very highly recommended here. I was not able to do that. However, my health insurance does pay for 10 counseling sessions. That has been wonderful.

My FWS is similar to yours in that he didn't want to answer a lot of the questions I need to ask. Uzzah, a poster who was a WH, explained in one of his posts, that he really did feel like he was protecting his spouse from more pain by not answering. He has since realized that was not the case. That post helped me understand that when my FWS says it, he really is meaning it. He is learning slowly that it does help when he answers the questions and that it protects me better by giving me the info -since it protects me from thinking things that are even worse than they were.

Keep reading and posting. General Questions is usually busier with more traffic.

Take care

Well, counseling was a thought, but we already have lots of medical bills with our child. So I am trying to work this out between us, that is why I decided to post here.

If you have good insurance, you may can go for free. See if your insurance has something called EAB. That paid the full cost of 10 sessions.

If that is not possible, then you really need to get your hands on copies of the books I mentioned above. Also, I understand Not Just Friends is a good book.

Read everythign on the site and keep posting.

thanks for breakiing down your post into pragraphs. I'll read it again later and see what I missed.

p

Sorry for making my posts so long and without breaking it down. I really thought after all this time I was feeling better but I guess not. That is why i keep ratteling on. I am not from the US didn't tell my parents, they worry enough anyways. Feel lonley and have one friend left to talk to but her husband had an affair 10 years ago and they are still barley hanging on, she just starts talking about her feelings and that she just found out that her H affair was also a PA not like she thought only EA. I don't want to dredge up her problems again. Her husband has been cranky anyways and since he knows what happened to us he keeps implying that she keeps bringing all this up again because of us. She doesn't need that grieve.